Accepting being unwanted

Every article I read online from one psychology publication or another, always describes changing yourself for others. To be liked, or for the greater whole, or whatever. Why, though? Why don't we seek people who like us for who we are? Why are we actually advised to change ourselves to fit the mold of another group or person? That's mad.

Really, I'm at a point where I'm just going to accept that I'm unwanted. I'm not good enough, because what am I really rejecting other than a shallow, conformist world?

I am me. I'm not going to be anyone else. If people don't like me, fine. I'll be happy with my own company. I'm sure some people will see that as narcissistic, but that is name-calling. What is name-calling other than invalidation of someone else's lived experience and personal truth? I will not shame myself because someone else wants to tear me down.

I'm not hyper-sensitive. I'm sensitive to the world around me.

I'm not self-absorbed. I take care of myself, because the only person who's going to be with you from birth to death is you. Both friends and family will come and go.

I'm not boring. I am interesting to people who are like me.

I don't have baggage. I have lived experiences that have made me resilient and diverse.

I will look how I want. Clothes have no gender. I can have my hair how I want. Style has no gender. We live in a lookist society. I will find people who reject it, just like me.

I reject all of the -ists that dominate us and try to tear us down. To keep us from shining and gifting the world with our uniqueness. No one has the right to tell me how to live, love, and laugh. If people don't like it, walk away. I am me.

[Lindyloo53 Volunteer]

One of my hardest lessons has been to like myself for who I am. Not to change to be something I am not as that would not be being honest with myself. I did have some flaws which I wanted to change, not for others, but for me. One of the most glaring flaws I found within myself was the way I manipulated others with my behaviours and also the way I used my ptsd as an excuse to not do things or as an apology for being unkind and uncaring of others. These were flaws I did not like so I set in place a program of change for myself, not for others because when I was being unkind and uncaring I did not like myself for doing that, for being like that.Some people may not like me, that’s ok, as long as at the end of each day I like me.