PTSD?

Hello! I am new to this board but not new to HealthUnlocked. During one of my counseling sessions, I brought up my childhood and punishment. Before my parents divorced, my so-called father often punished my brother and me by having us kneel on textured ceramic-like linoleum (1970s-80s). He would put us facing a wall next to their bedroom while they slept. If we were caught crying or slouching or if my mom asked if we could get up, we had extra time added to the punishment. Sometimes it would be hours. My counselor said that was child abuse even though there were never lasting marks on our knees. And ever since it was brought up, I can't help think that may have some sort of PTSD accompanying my MDD and Anxiety D/O, etc. What do y'all think?

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Hi Chicharra72,

Welcome to the community.

I think being punished like that, especially as a child, is abuse and it can cause trauma.

I had physical abuse growing up. I thought I was okay but at some point another traumatic event brought back the childhood trauma.

It is important that you talk to your therapist about it. Sometimes trauma can go without symptoms for a while and then manifest itself in some ways.

I think it's important that you shared about it and I am really sorry that your father brought you so much pain...

[Hidden in reply to Nathalie99]

I appreciate your kind words and suggestions. It's funny how our brains work to help us block out traumatic situations. It was not until my therapist put a name to it that all those memories flooded back. Needless to say, I don't speak to my father...I have the best step-father and he means the world to me. So all is good in that aspect. No regrets!

BTW, he also used the belt on us but kneeling was his punishment of choice.

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to Hidden]

Great that you have a good step-father. I think that the more positive experiences, the more they "neutralize" the difficult, traumatic ones. That's my personal way of viewing things.

I agree, brain is doing a lot to protect us from the traumatic memories.

It is through being vulnerable in a safe place that we can start healing...

[Hidden in reply to Nathalie99]

You know I never thought of it that way. Maybe that is why I have no feelings towards my bio-father because my love for my step-father has surpassed all the hatred. Thank you Nathalie99!!

[Shy_Guy]

Welcome to the group. Both my parents were alcoholics so I can relate to dealing with the effects of PTSD from childhood.

I am sorry to read about how you were punished. I think for me it helped me to put a label on my symptoms and triggers.

[Hidden in reply to Shy_Guy]

Thanks Shy_Guy! I'm sorry about your parents. Too bad you can't pick your parents, eh? I wouldn't, though, trade my mom or my step-dad for the world.

After talking about what happened as a child and my therapist actually putting a label on it made it real. I am grateful that the cycle of abuse stopped with me and I did not treat my child like that.

[Shy_Guy in reply to Hidden]

Growing up I did not know any difference. Therapy has made it possible to break the chain of abuse. My Dad did sober up and that made it possible that we could heal our relationship and my two boy children have a good relationship with him. A miracle really

[Midori]

I wouldn't be a bit surprised; That is a cruel punishment for children who need more sleep whist growing; not just the physical aspect, but the mental fear of making it longer if you moved or dozed off.

It is a well-documented Torture, deprivation of sleep.

Put it to your doctor; I think you well may have PTSD

Cheers, Midori

[Hidden]

Midori, maybe that's why I have had trouble sleeping for most of my life. Plus it doesn't help when you suffer from MDD and anxiety.