PTSD?

[HaileyRed]

Hello! I was not certain where I could go to ask this, so I’ve found myself here. I was hoping someone could give me some opinions/feedback. I hope this is alright.

A few years ago, I suffered from an emotionally traumatic event. I experienced a range of side effects from it, that I didn’t really think much about at the time. Now, years later, I find that I’m still getting... I don’t know the term to use? I hesitate to call it flashbacks as they’re very short, usually, but I will recall the event and feel awful and “itchy” after it. I haven’t really dwelled on how this event has affected me (because I didn’t want to dwell on it at all, as I’m sure you can imagine) but a recent conversation with my boyfriend has given me pause.

When the event happened, I reacted in a few different ways. I would get fearful when I heard the same type of car related to the incident drive by (regardless of if it was the same car or not), I physically made a barrier between myself and the entrance to my room (I had what I’d called at the time a “hiding nook”, which was just a space cleared from between my bed and the wall, out of view of the door. It’s all very sad thinking back now, but i still have that urge to make another one even now), and I became closed off from friends/family and fearful of large places. Among other things, but I’d like to attempt to keep this somewhat short 😂

As time has passed these things have calmed for the most part (a lot was also already there due to my already diagnosed anxiety disorder) but these flashes of memories will still haunt me some times, and I will still get uncomfortable at the sight/sound of that same type of truck.

Usually, I would just chalk all of this up to just what it is - emotional trauma I haven’t gotten over. But a few months ago I had this short, 10 second or so episode? I guess? I was laying in my bed at a new apartment, and I suddenly thought I was back there, where I had been when the event had taken place. There was no trigger that i could see, besides my bed being in the same place it was at the old place). It didn’t last very long at all and part of me knew I wasn’t there but there was also this instinctual part of myself that just kept telling me i was back where I wasn’t safe. It was deeply unsettling and rattled me for quite a few days.

Anyway, I say all of this to say that I don’t know what this all is. Part of me has always downplayed my own traumas; made me think that it wasn’t “serious” enough to effect me so badly. That if i did think it was PTSD, it was just overreacting and being disrespectful to the people who DO suffer from it. Which is why I’m writing this now, hoping someone could give me unbiased feedback.

My boyfriend has urged me to look into the possibility of this being PTSD, and if so to get help for it. If not, to get help for just the trauma in general. I would like to do that, if I can. What are your thoughts? I would love to know.

Thank you for taking the time to read this novel!!! Lol

TL;DR: I have certain symptoms that may or may not be PTSD, and I’d like to know others’ opinions on it.

[brokenlight]

I’m sorry for your pain and suffering.

I hope you have the option to get clinically assessed and possibly diagnosed. That could be a great first step.

Best of luck to you ✨

[HaileyRed in reply to brokenlight]

I am looking into it soon! Thank you!

[Marnie22 Volunteer]

Hi! I am not a professional who could diagnose you, but I am someone who has been diagnosed with PTSD by a neuropsychologist (my PTSD came about through suffering a brain injury,) and I would say that it does sound like PTSD. I hope you can get a diagnosis and some treatment and support, because it can really make a big difference. I am just coming to the end of having EMDR and it has been completely life changing.

Please keep in mind that you need to be diagnosed and treated by someone trained in trauma focused services. I don't mean to alarm you, but if you have got PTSD and you have therapy that is not trauma focused, it can make things worse.

If I can be of any help, just let me know.

Take care. 🙂🌸

[HaileyRed in reply to Marnie22]

Thank you so much! I appreciate the insight. I’ll definitely be moving forward to try and get a proper diagnosis. Thank you for the warning as well!! I’ll keep an eye out

[Marnie22 Volunteer in reply to HaileyRed]

🙂🌸

[Abigail_Wenderson]

Hey,

I'm sorry for what you are going through.

PTSD is a type of disorder caused by happening unusual and scary events it may be a car accident, sexual assault, natural disease, serious injury, childhood physical abuse and fear of being threatened, etc.

Seems like you are also going through the same. I think you should get a clinical PTSD checkup that will help you to know more about your condition.

I hope you get better soon.

[HaileyRed]

Thank you! I hope to be able to soon!

[Agara33]

This sounds disorienting and a little overwhelming, but these things are not coming up to disturb you but because they are ready to be seen. I have heard of something called TRE which stands for tension stress and trauma release. People observed animals in the wild, animals that were prey to predators like gazelles and noticed that after she was attacked and then survived, before she moved on she would shake her body and release the adrenaline and tension. Sometimes something so simple can be the answer. Its a couple of exercises to induce shaking in the body to release the trauma trapped inside. It can be found on youtube if you want to try it. There are a lot of mind-body methods that are kind of straight forward and not drawn out way of dealing with trauma...often our bodies are wiser than our intellect.

[HaileyRed in reply to Agara33]

Oh wow okay! That’s really good info, ill definitely look into it thank you!!

[33Blessings]

I am curious if things have gotten better? I have found that talking to a professional really helps, and yes I go back when I need a little help. It is a wonderous thing how our brains react to trauma, sometime we need to deal with it in small doses. But sometimes we stuff things too far down and they get stuck. Whatever it is, it is yours to master. Ignoring it only makes things worse.

[HaileyRed in reply to 33Blessings]

Thank you for checking in!! Unfortunately, due to the pandemic and a huge lack of funds courtesy of said pandemic (lol) I haven’t been able to go to a professional yet. But I have been doing sort of like, meditation and mindfulness(??) exercises and it has helped a good bit! I am also very lucky to have a very supportive SO who checks in on me too, just in case. I’m hoping by the end of the year I’ll be able to afford therapy!