Has anyone else been in a situation where there is a fire where you are currently at and jump into action thinking you are still on a fire department or still a fire fighter? I had to quit the fire service after 13.5yrs and its been 2 years now since I've been on a department. Saturday night we had a work party at a bowling alley, everything went well until we had to evacuate due to a fire that started behind one of the lanes. As I stepped outside and seen the smoke I started having flashbacks and started seeing myself in full turn out gear. I instantly ran into the smoky building looking for the flames which at this time there was black smoke smelled like rubber and electric. After turning a bunch of corners and going through a bunch of rooms I hit a wall, I kind of snapped out of it and instantly left the building and contacted dispatch. When on the phone with dispatch she asked if anyone was still in the building. Something inside of me told me to go back in and check. I read the smoke. It died down and seen it was white, knowing the fire was starving for oxygen. As I ran it sure enough there were 2 employees trying to get a DJ Photobooth out of the building. I snapped back into a flash back and started yelling at them to get out of the building to leave the items alone and to get out. They were not listening and I kept screaming at them to leave, I remember dispatch telling me I needed to get out. Something inside of me wouldn't listen cause I wanted to make sure they got out first and safe. After they got out I finally left the building and watched the fire trucks move in and firefighters jump into action. I was trying to bark orders but no one was listening. I went to my truck to move it and instantly got a rush of hotness and then a weird emotional feeling that made me cry. It was weird and I'm still confused on what exactly happened. Let me know your thoughts and maybe answers to why and what caused this? I got out fine, lungs and throat are not happy with me and blew black snot for a couple days. Im still thinking about this and its not leaving me alone, its hard to sleep at night.
Fire Service PTSD *Trigger Warning* - Heal My PTSD
Fire Service PTSD *Trigger Warning*
Its understandable, toavfd25, you had such a strong reaction - triggers, flashbacks as well as trying to do what you were trained to do, even though you left the fire department. Maybe you don't completely stop being a fire fighter. The instincts are still there - save the lives of people.
I am not a fire fighter at all, but I had a next door apartment on vacation having alarm middle of the night and I tried the front door, no response so I tried the back. There was smoke and flames in the kitchen, 2 people inside, both unable to leave by themselves. I called the fire department and they were able to save their lives. One was unconscious and one was sleeping very deeply.
i understand the need to help and that it is even stronger if this was your job, saving buildings but most importantly people's lives, then their pets then property if possible.
I don't know why you had the reaction at the end, maybe processing or remembering how it felt like in the past.
You did help those people. I'm sorry you have symptoms in your lungs and throat and I hope you were checked out after that.
toavfd25
What an incredible story. I think certain careers are " in our blood" This is an example of that.
Your skills and training took over and you jumped into action.
The reasons why you were so emotional in your truck and I'm just guessing
Adrenaline release? Thoughts of your past career? Knowing you still " have it"
I also hope one of those emotions was pride? You helped save lives. You no longer do that job as a career but you haven't lost that part of you.
Do you have a therapist? Can you see them to talk this through?
How are you doing right now?
❤️🐬
I've had therapists in the past but they all released me due to not being able to help. So the only thing I got right now is a Psychiatrist that just hands me meds. I'm doing ok, just cant get this incident out of my mind, hence why I came here to talk about it and maybe get closure.
I still get flashbacks from my childhood 30 years later. It sucks. I am in DBT which is helping some, but I hear emdr therapy is great for ptsd
I tried EMDR and it didn't work, the therapist dropped me saying they couldn't help me. EMDR just got me more irritated, it was weird.
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