Heal My PTSD Forum Guidelines

[MicheleR]

Welcome to the Heal My PTSD Forum. We're so glad you're here.

In order to create a secure, positive, nurturing, safe and supportive environment for all members it's important we each agree to some fundamental rules. We are all in this together, which means we create the atmosphere in this forum together, too.

Please read the guidelines below, behave in alignment with them and register complaints when you observe others not operating within the scope of this agreement. As soon as problems are brought to our attention, the Admin team will take swift and immediate action.

The Heal My PTSD Forum is designed to create a space where those working toward overcoming PTSD can feel completely comfortable sharing thoughts, experiences, ideas and questions. I'm kicking off the list of guidelines with the ideas below, please feel free to add your ideas as comments.

In order to build a constructive healing space we all agree to follow these guidelines.

√ Willing to read about others' experiences

√ Non-judgmental

√ Non-argumentative and non-combative

√ Positive, nurturing and proactive in offering thoughts

√ Helpful and resourceful

√ Respectful

√ Kind and empathetic

√ Willing to be supportive

In addition to the above listed bylines please understand:

1 - We have a zero tolerance policy for trolling and any other abuse of individuals or posts.

2 - Refrain from telling someone what their PTSD or recovery experience is or can be. While there are many universal elements and similarities everyone remains individual so experiences vary; what is true for one person may or may not be true for others. Stick to science and objective (PTSD) facts rather than telling someone what you think is, can, will or should be their PTSD or healing experience.

When reaching out, refrain from direct advice and instructions on what someone should or shouldn’t do. Try to share your experience or thoughts in a way that allows other points of view.

3 - Make suggestions and offer your experience as examples but refrain from diagnosis. This is a survivor community not a professional forum.

4 - Feel free to post resources you feel will be useful and directly correspond to the subjects of posts. Refrain from self-serving marketing and promotion. Soliciting funds for any purpose is outside the guidelines of this forum.

5 - Feel free to talk about spirituality, but please refrain from evangelism or telling someone else what they should believe.

6 - This forum is not meant for any political or religious debates. Any posts and comments of a political nature will be removed. Please have in mind that this is an international community, for people from all over the world, regardless of their nationality, sex, political or religious views and practices. In order to make everyone feel welcome, we need the atmosphere of respect and tolerance with regard to our differences.

7 - Refrain from use of offensive language and curse words, even asterisked ones. The admin team will edit any posts or replies containing offensive language without notifying the person who posted it.

8 - We are not a crisis intervention forum. If you need immediate crisis intervention you need to contact your local hospital or crisis center. Please check out our pinned post "Crisis Hotlines":

healthunlocked.com/healmypt...

9 - Please keep your replies to other people's posts at a manageable length. While relating to other's experiences by sharing our own can provide very helpful context, a very long reply, sharing your own story is likely to distract from the original poster's message, particularly if they are struggling and needing some comfort and support.

10 - This forum is a CONFIDENTIAL space. By engaging here you are agreeing to hold all that you read in this forum in PRIVATE. You will not copy any of the material here or paste it anywhere outside of this forum. Nor will you share what you read here with outside sources or third parties.

11 - Any and all issues, disagreements or other disturbances about how the forum is run should be PRIVATELY shared with the Admin team. Posts containing these types of subjects will be deleted.

12 - PLEASE NOTE: Anyone who does not abide by these guidelines forfeits the right to be a part of this community and will be immediately eliminated from the group at the discretion of the administrator(s).

Lastly, please be aware:

Posts may contain material that some find triggering. Replies may also include material that some find triggering. Users of this forum acknowledge this and do so with awareness that no one else could know what might be a trigger for them or any other anonymous user. Be prepared and have a plan for self-protection so that you have ways to quell any reaction.

We want to create a safe space where people are able to share their experiences. We know this can involve topics and material that is triggering of others. We want to encourage people to share whatever they feel is appropriate and also ask that material not be exceedingly explicit or gratuitous.

Thank you all for helping us create a space where it's okay to be who you are while you work toward becoming who you most want to be.

[Equis-Canine Volunteer]

Hi Michele,

Thank you so much for creating this forum. I have found it to be very helpful and I've grown to care about others in this group. I would never has guessed that an on line group could become so important and healing for me. Generally I found the members to very compassionate, open and intelligent. The willingness to rush in with support and kindness when someone is having a bad day is lovely.

I've never been part of a forum before and have a couple of sincere questions. What is trolling? If there ever is a problem, how is it brought to your attention? Is there a person who monitors all of the posts and I assume, block someone if they are upsetting the group?

Thank you for posting the guidelines.

[MicheleR Founder in reply to Equis-Canine]

Hey there, Equis-Canine (my 2 fave animals!), great questions -- and welcome! I'm so delighted that the group has become a supportive place for you, that's exactly what I was hoping for when we launched it.

Trolling and other abuses are very easy to spot: unkindness, offensive language, aggressive attitude, bullying, etc. You can always send me an email through my profile here, plus Dan H who is also an administrator. The two of us do monitor the forum but due to time constraints can't necessarily read all the posts. That's why it's so important for us all to work together on this to create an atmosphere that is healthy. We block abusive members immediately.

Here's to your forward motion and recovery process.

Joyfully,

Michele

[johnsmith]

Hi

In your guidelines you have:

"

Non-judgmental

Non-argumentative and non-combative

"

I am not sure what you mean here. When I reply to someone's post I make a judgement. When I reply to points raised I try and elaborate my thinking processes and try and expand what I have written based on my experience. This many people regard as argumentative and judgmental.

I have attempted not to be too argumentative and too judgemental. Can you tell me where I fall in these guidelines.

I found the comments of " jonesboy" and the replies to him quite helpful in regard to having to deal with all the medical professionals in the real world.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

[MicheleR Founder in reply to johnsmith]

Johnsmith, thanks for asking for those clarifications. I think the main point is that we're all entitled to our opinions and the point of the forum, of course, is to share them, but when browbeating or bullying becomes the delivery method, and when others' experiences are devalued or disrespected, then a line becomes crossed.

Forums are tricky since there's no opportunity for tone of voice, facial expression or any of the other cues we all use to understand each other's intention. This can always lead to disagreements and misunderstandings. At the same time, I value your idea to "elaborate my thinking processes and try and expand what I have written based on my experience." We all only write from our experiences (both personally and educationally) and so in the forum everyone needs to be aware of this and respectful of it on both sides of the conversation.

I hope this clarifies things in the way you were asking,

Michele

[johnsmith]

Thanks for the clarification it has been most helpful.

[aujoymyjoy]

Thank you for protecting us with the guidelines.

I worry about writing something that is offensive or not helpful. Is there someone who can give feedback when they read something I write that is not appropriate?

I know my language in my posts is often harsh and graphic. I describe in word pictures what I feel and see. I guess my world has been rated R for so long, I don't know any other way to describe it.

this is the first on-line place I have found where communication happens, where I don't feel alone in my head all the time, read ideas and stories that make me want to cry and give me hope because they sound so much like mine but different. I am not alone

[MicheleR Founder in reply to aujoymyjoy]

@aujoy - Thanks for being sensitive about how we all post and communicate. We're all in this together in creating the supportive space so, yes, be yourself while being sensitive. You'll hear from someone if there's a issue.

[crazytater]

Hmm ok, this is the second time I have gotten the forum guidelines no reply e mail. Is this normal, oh did I do an oops on one of my posts? Just want to make sure I am minding my p's and q's

[crazytater]

Okie Dokie. Just checking.

[freeandalive1 Volunteer]

Hello,

I am two years clean since Feb 1, 2013. I spent six weeks in a women's trauma center facing some of the most painful issues that were causing me to self medicate and self destruct, taking out on myself what others did to me instead of dealing with it or them out of fear. It's too long of a story, but I would like to have some connectivity in some healing of PTSD. I don't go to counseling right now, but I got a job that has a lady as the manager and I have so many triggers when I'm there. I want to take this time in my life to use her as an opportunity to figure out what the triggers are and let myself overcome their affect on my emotions.

How do I use this….I picked your name because I saw a post you wrote. and you are admin.

[Louisthecat in reply to freeandalive1]

Hi I survived a trauma over many years and did well but then I had a few trigger situations which knocked me for six and I realised I wasn't well and all the years I thought I'd coped had just stored up the anxiety. I had a couple of 6 session counselling sessions which didn't help much but now I'm having 24 sessions and my therapist is really helping me understand how I'm not to blame and to deal with the abusers emotionally. I fully recommend getting help f you can.

Good luck.

[ubsparkles]

RE Comment from Dan_H

Appreciate feed back... I get carried away with my reaching out. Sorry.

Will keep it simple. Thanks again.

[cristalwizard]

Hello Michele and thank you for your kind welcoming message.

I joined over a year ago, but forgot (brain injury) and have just found my way back.

Thank you for starting this community. I'm a slow learner nowadays, and I know it will take me a while to find my way around.

thanks again.

[MicheleR Founder]

Cristal, if you have any questions, feel free to reach out to me or either of the other administrators (CapeJoy and Dan_H) -- we're always here to help. Very glad to have you join our tribe of survivors in recovery.

[kate47]

Thank you for adding me Michelle, i hope to find some way of healing here.

[sugar-pants]

Thanks Michelle for monitoring the posts. I'm a newbie to your site, but since I found you, I'm really excited to read people's posts & also share my long road of healing. Furthermore, on June 9th, I got the PTSD diagnosis, & am anxious to continue the treatment that my doctors have started. They monitor me every 4 weeks, & with one change they made in my medication at nighttime, it has made a huge difference.

It's been over many years to get to this point & I will continue to follow my doctors & therapists treatment, but I will be frequently checking in on everyone on this wonderful site.

Thanks for all you do!

Kind regards,

Sugar-pants

[MicheleR Founder in reply to sugar-pants]

Welcome! I'm so glad you're here -- and that you're finding relief from your recovery program, that's fantastic. Here's to freedom.... and your (happy) life after trauma.

xo

[sugar-pants]

Thank you Michelle.

Have a beautiful day!

I love your sign off,

Onward toward freedom!

Bless you,

Sugar-pants

[odinnorway]

Sometimes I have really bad days and I try so hard to feel some sort of joy. I quit one anti depressant and hope it is ok. I am ashamed to say that I am a recluse.

[MicheleR Founder in reply to odinnorway]

Many of us are or have been feeling and isolating the way you are. That's part of the PTSD coping process. You'll find yourself very welcome and understood here.

[Louisthecat in reply to odinnorway]

Hi I'm sure many of us have gone through the head in the sand stage I know I have as it feels safe to be at home as noone can hurt us so don't feel bad about that you're protecting yourself but you're not having a quality of life so missing out. Have you had any therapy? There are Meetup groups for those who are depressed, have social anxiety etc which may help.

[terrafirma in reply to odinnorway]

Same.

[Hidden]

Thank you Michelle. I am currently working through the identity mapping course and in some places it is harder going than others. I am so very grateful that i stumbled on it when i did. The steps may be small but each week i am making progress and week on week i am becoming my own person. Today i discovered the community so its an added bonus when you can talk to people who actually understand . It is very difficult trying to explain PTSD to well meaning family and friends who think you should just snap out of PTSD.

[MicheleR Founder in reply to Hidden]

You're so right, creating The New You and a full identity that feels good is a day to day, week to week process -- and sometimes it goes better than others!

The great thing is to hear you say, "The steps may be small but each week i am making progress and week on week i am becoming my own person." Wow, that's fantastic!!!

You are proof that we can change, we can heal, we can reclaim a self and life that feels better and better. Thank you for sharing your experience -- and good luck with the rest of the process! Since you're already seeing progress you're building momentum that will carry you through the rough periods and on to the final desired result.

[lld42064]

I have a non- supportive environment with lack of compassion from all could help and i need a support group online because I have developed social anxiety disorder/agoraphobia. PTSD from 51 years of trauma that my ability to heal myself and fovgive came rushing forward when Police/corrections/family/abuse was non stop for the last 17 years after recieving call the my children were killed. These traumas are just a few their is to much to process. I feel the best way to heal is to find a comminity with compassion and support.

[Louisthecat in reply to lld42064]

I'm so sorry you don't have support I had friends around but they can only offer so much. We're here and have been through the shit too at different levels so never feel alone. Do you have anyone you can just call when you feel low? Even a support group. Are you getting professional help through all that?

[1amUnique]

Where can I go to get help with healing from complex ptsd? I am so frustrated that it took so long to get to the root of the problem, but still no answers on where I can get help with the healing process. Can anyone recommend anywhere?

[Laurieelizabth]

Hi I am new to the group and to recovery of ptss. Is there a beginning book you would recommend I read right away. Thanks so much for the support

[MicheleR Founder in reply to Laurieelizabth]

Welcome! What kind of information are you looking for. i.e. how to heal, the history and overview of PTSD, etc.? That will help me identify which book(s) would be most useful to you.

[Yole]

Thank you so much , It is good to know that I AM NOT ALONE, I have suffered from PTSD since age 2 it really came out when I had my first child, He is now in Heaven my 2nd son has no part in my life.

[canuckgirl56]

Sorry I am a bit delayed in thanking you. I have just had a knee replacement 3 weeks ago and was busy with pre-op appointments. I overlooked the message. My apologies. I advised the hospital of my PTSD before surgery and they were very accommodating. Recovery from surgery is going very well. Now to recommence my PTSD therapy.

Many thanks for a warm and safe space.

[gemmagusjessmika]

I have offered homeopathic help to a lady, but in order to help I need a little more background than she is currently comfortable with sharing on a forum. Past illnesses (including the normal childhood diseases) and the type of person she is, which makes up her individual constitution (everyone has a constitutional remedy) help to make a plan of what remedies will best serve her. Unlike over the counter or prescription medication, there is not a 'one size fits all'. Her initial post was screaming out for help and I felt I identified with it. Can I please offer an email address for her to write to me. I'm not promoting myself, nor will I expect or accept financial gratification, I help everyone and anyone, including their pets. Homeopathy is very complex and in order to work, it needs to know what its working on.

Thank you

Gemma

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to gemmagusjessmika]

Hi Gemma,

Very kind of you to offer help, however exchanging email address on the forum is not allowed and any private information will be deleted. These are the rules to protect forum members.

Nathalie

[gemmagusjessmika]

Sorry, I should add, I've suffered with PTSD for 50 years and have just now reached a stage in my life when I MATTER! Its very liberating. I am suffering from fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, cervical spondyloses, asthma and a nasty shoulder and knee injury from falls. Through all of these, I should, by now, be in a wheelchair - or worse, but I have only just realised I am a positive person and am now allowing the positivity to shine some light into my otherwise dark existence. My pets are my reason to get up in the morning, have regular exercise and, in short, to live. I'm almost 60 and although I still struggle (feeling trapped) in male company (even in the middle of a field) I can be in charge of a situation which I've never truly accomplished before. I've studied homeopathy for over 20 years and am a Reiki practitioner. I know how badly PTSD has affected me. I can't honestly identify with everyone (we're all different) in particular those locked into a world of drugs or alcohol. I comment on a post if I feel a connection, also if I feel that what I have to share will make a positive difference, but haven't offered homeopathy before.

Regards

Gemma

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to gemmagusjessmika]

Hi Gemma,

Feel free to share your experience with dealing with PTSD but you cannot approach anyone offering your services, even for free, as this is against this site's policy.

Nathalie

[gemmagusjessmika in reply to gemmagusjessmika]

Thanks for the reply. I'll reply to her shortly to give her the bad news.

You know, helping people has helped me with my battle, your reply has been a trigger which I really hadn't expected. I at least had the decency and manners to ask if it were allowed.

It isn't all about sharing with others that have experienced it and it doesn't always help to learn that the horrors you've experienced, have been a nightmare for others. It hurts me to think other people have been through similar tortures. Homeopathy would help but is very very expensive and my offer is free. I would have thought that would be welcomed. In this instance, I can't help but disagree with the forums policy.

Gemma

[Hadshe]

Excellent guidelines!

[CLRiley]

I've always battled depression. Almost 3 years ago, my Brother killed himself. Since then I've had PTSD too. My anxiety gets worse every day. Very hard to interact with people at all. Thanks for reading.

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to CLRiley]

Hi CLRiley,

Welcome to the community.

I truly feel for you and I am so sorry for your tragic loss.

Since this post is not private to the community, you might want to introduce yourself in a new post, to give others a chance of giving you supportive replies.

[Survivor67]

Thanks for guidelines.

[Merrillsmerauders]

I apologize for the swear words in my post. I'll do better to keep them out. Thank you

[Rockapple]

Oops, I only saw these guidelines after I'd responded to a post. I don't think I am in contravention of the rules. I do hope not. I just wanted to try to be encouraging and supportive without trying to make too many assumptions or anything.

I'm actually also not sure if this is a forum only for people with PTSD or open to those who may just want to encourage.

In this instance I felt that I had experienced enough of quite serious problems as it were, to be able to comment. But I wouldn't say I have PSTD...only that a lot of my life has been very stressful, even fear-filled.

Please advise, as I certainly don't want to be where I'm not supposed to be, nor do I want to make anything worse for anyone.

I will not participate again if I'm not supposed to be here.

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to Rockapple]

Hi Rockapple,

If you have any concerns regarding anything you have posted, I suggest that you private message the admin team (me, Dan_H and AussieNeil) to discuss anything specific.

Thank you.

[Hidden]

I agree to these rules and will think before I post.

[MicheleR Founder in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so much, Asher! When we all work together we can really create a terrific healing environment here.

[Journeywomyn]

Thank you so much for creating this forum. My needs are many. I am 65 this year, was abused almost all of this time. Been depressed for almost 50+ years. I raised my kids, others kids. I am a retired RN Masters Level. No I am showing signs of some of the horrific things that were done to me. I need this platform to help me in the coping with of myself.

[Hidden]

Thankyou for the info!

[socratesanne]

I write posts but do not know what you are speaking about locking them in? Some how I do not seem to undestand your system. I had no trouble on other sites initially but then I do not get notices regardng answers as I did initially. I am starting to give up only I do have contacts on other sites but that is slow at times. I think the US has satalite problems in my area, so perhaps this is a challenge?

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to socratesanne]

Hi socratesanne,

Thank you for joining our community.

Here is more information on how to make posts locked/private to the community only:

healthunlocked.com/healmypt...

Let me know if you have any questions.

Regarding the slow loading site, if you would like to check with HU Technical Support, please email them at [e-mail]

They will be able to assist you regarding the notifications and the site speed.

[socratesanne in reply to Nathalie99]

Got it but not sure how I locked it but I will be more cautious. I figured no one was responding because of two factors and now I know it was not due to the locking.

[socratesanne in reply to Nathalie99]

I just replied to a post from another entry but it dawned on me that i have just been on another website for pregnant mothers and it would be helpful here, if you have funding. It costs miminal for the videos and the handouts you could probably use on a site for new mothers should you choose to expand. The providers are from all over discussing the issues. I can forward direct the contact videos and their new videos being presented. I am in a Vagus Study Group that is very helpful in sharing infor, the great things about the internet and this new technology when it is safe to connect. I am not a promoter of anything but do not know how to forward sites to this site. I am older, just not great with technology at times but still active in my practice and in my field. It scares me sometimes in this day and age of cyber attacks.

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to socratesanne]

Hi socratesanne,

We are not doing any fundraising as this is only a community based on volunteers so it's not applicable.

Nathalie

[socratesanne in reply to Nathalie99]

No this is not a fund raiser but just information from a source the doctors are providing. I am on a stroke forum and they have many adjunct and informative suggestions or speakers as they evolve periodically. Since I do not know how you system works, I will not send any other suggestions. No problem. It just came to mind as two or three women I had encountered were involved in severe trauma history and worry about health of the newborn and mother.

[Hidden]

Thank you so much MicheleR for the warm welcome. I'm looking forward to participating in this group & getting to know everyone. Thank you once again.🙂

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to Hidden]

Hi MysticMistress18,

Welcome to the community. We are a safe space where we share our experiences...

[SavingGrace Administrator]

Dear Members - a gentle reminder that you can lock your posts in HU forums, in order to protect your privacy and anonymity. Please check that your post is shared to forum members only for online safety - if this is what your require, otherwise it will be public and available to view by any non-members of the forum.

In order to continue to support members and safety of members, there are a number of advice/points that can be followed and read:

healthunlocked.com/healmypt...

including crisis hotlines, or how to appropriately add trigger warnings.

Wishing you all well and thank you for being a continued presence here on this forum and providing support to all..

[Add2021]

Hello Michelle, new to the group

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to Add2021]

Hi Add2021,

Welcome to the community.

[Add2021 in reply to Nathalie99]

Hello

[Kb1001]

I love what you’re doing.