I know I might sound dramatic....but that is not my intention. I am truly frightened to be in a dangerous situation where I would have to defend myself....How would y'all handle this? Before he left, he gave me a firearm and gave me a brief tutorial on how to use it....but I'm fearful of the handgun....
I know I sound so confused....I am confused. Feeling lost!
Hi. I don't mean to sound dumb, but are you under a threat of anything? Is there something in particular you are frightened of? I have lived alone for over eleven years and I have never experienced what you are going through, although of course we may have very different circumstances.
I think perhaps a first step is to try to regulate your breathing to help you feel calm and then perhaps figure out if there is any real danger to be concerned about or if there may be an element of your emotions taking over.
I hope this makes sense. I would love to help you. I haven't had fear of living alone, but I have had fear in other circumstances.
I hope it's okay to send you a hug. 🙄🌸
Thank you so much for speaking reality over me.....
I have been sexually assaulted four times and I have always sought to be in the care of a man so that I could be "protected." Having a man in my home has always given me a false sense of protection...a sense of protection that I have never been without my entire adult life. Needless to say, him having left last night and me being alone in my own home, by myself, was a first for me.
When I posted this post last night, I was almost shaking in fear. I had a hard time going to sleep...I was very uneasy...and every noise sounded like someone was at the door. Today is another day. I ended up falling asleep and nothing bad happened to me. I wish I had thought to focus on my breathing or that I would have done a grounding technique....anything other than sit in fear.
I'm so grateful to have found this community....ironically, I just tapped into this yesterday and to be honest, I don't know how I came across this community. Thank you for taking the time to talk to me about my situation and my fears. It really means a lot to me!
Hi. Sometimes we find what we need at just the right time. I have found this community to be very supportive, with lots of wise advice. I think it's very helpful to have this to turn to.
I am so glad that you have got through your initial fear and have returned to this site. It's very hard to figure out how to calm yourself in the heat of the moment, all that adrenaline stops us thinking clearly or sometimes it stops us thinking at all.
It sounds as though this is a challenging moment in your life, but I think that you will find that you have strengths that you haven't yet discovered. I believe we can all be strong independently of others if we need to be, or choose to be.
I do hope you will keep posting here, everyone will support you and we would all like to know how things develop for you.
All the best. 🙂🌸
This will definitely be a place that I will become more familiar with and a place that I view as a safe place to share my fears/anxieties etc. with. I'm grateful. That's all I can say! Thanks again, for your reply! Take care! Talk to y'all soon!
You take care too. 🙂🌸
Hi LoveMyUniqueChild,
Firstly, I am so sorry your partner has left you and you are suddenly alone and scared. It's a terrible situation.
Personally I wouldn't want to have a handgun and try to have a security camera, automatic lights outside etc.
From your profile, I read that you have two children so I understand the need to provide a safe environment but I just don't see how the gun would help. You would need to be able to practice regularly to be able to use it and in stressful situations it's even harder.
If you do keep it then maybe having it in a locked safe could be better.
I usually put TV on when alone and that helps me feel less scared.
Maybe calling a friend can help you feel safer.
I hope you are going to be able to sleep okay...
I appreciate you taking the time to respond to my post. I am uncertain what my plan is with the gun. Yes, I need to get to the range and practice and know how to use it. I'm like you, I'm not sure how I feel about the gun. My daughter was at her step-dad's last night....so I slept with it on my night stand, but that wont always be wise.
I will get this all worked out....I'm sure the fear will pass with time...and that I can lock the gun in the safe....If something is meant to happen to me, it will happen to me....
I wish I knew what else to say....the only thoughts at the forefront of my mind are that I got through the night....I ended up falling asleep and I woke up safe this morning. I cannot say it enough, I'm grateful to have found this community and for your kindness. Blessings to you!
I'm so glad to hear you were able to sleep and woke up safe. That's huge...
Take care...
Hi LoveMyUniqueChild. I left my marriage after 34 years. It takes adjusting to but you can do this. I live in nz and it’s a an exception for someone to have a firearm in their home and it would never be for protection but rather for hunting or the like. I hope we never get like that here. We do have the odd home invasion but those are reported on the news so as you can imagine don’t happen every day. I think I’d feel less safe with a firearm in the house than without one.
Making sure doors and windows are locked is important. Could you get a can of tear gas just in case you need it? I don’t have a can but because if your level of anxiety maybe that would help.
Your feelings are valid and you feelings of fear are valid. It may not be real but it is valid.
It is a major thing to adjust to when your marriage ends there is grief and the grieving I did was for what I had always thought would happen and we would grow old together. The loneliness was hard for me to adjust to. Although we had grown apart I still knew there was another human in the house with me. I had to force myself to go out, join groups, etc or I would not have adjusted as well as I have.
All the best to you on this New journey of rediscovering yourself.
Yes, I totally see what you are saying! Thank you for your reply....it means a lot to me! I just need to get accustomed to life without another "being" in the home....It will all be alright....I just need to do my part to protect myself and then trust in God for the rest of my peace and protection. I'm sorry to hear about your marriage coming to an end. It's a sad thing to experience. I will keep you in my prayers! Take care and blessings to you!
I understand how you feel, I left my ex husband with my kids alone to raise them. We we’re homeless for 3 weeks. Do you have any kids? If not don’t you have any friends or family members that can help you through this? Trust Me you will get though this. You said he left you for Good? So he’s left you before, so how do you know it’s for GOOD? I’d leave that gun alone, do you have a license or training for it? Write here whenever you feel the need too🙏😷
Well you have every right to feel scared that would be really scary but I hope that you can find what you’re looking for and I hope you reach out to people that can help you in your area or friends or family if you feel safe with that and I hope you really asked me for what you need because you deserve everything good take care
I am experiencing more flashbacks...I think this is good.
My daughter has been rejecting me for a long time
The day my world came crashing down.
I ran into my abuser today and now I'm a complete mess. *trigger warnings*
