How Do I Move On?!

[Meganlodon01]

I've recently reconnected with a good friend of mine who has helped me with my journey so far. I told her that I'm so focused on my diagnosis of all my mental health problems, I don't know where or how to even start. Of course she told me I shouldn't be focused on that and I should focus on my symptoms and figure out how to help myself with the symptom that is most preventing me from living my life. For me that has always been my anxiety that stems from my PTSD. It also causes irrational anger that comes out of left field and seems to stay for hours. She wants me to see her psychiatrist but he only sees veterans or first responders so I don't know where to go from here. I have a psychiatrist but she has put a bad taste in my mouth from over a years worth of treating me for the wrong thing and my symptoms have only gotten worse. I have to find a new psychiatrist but it's really hard finding someone who is taking new patients and will accept my insurance. I just don't know how I'm supposed to feel better if basic necessities aren't met. How do I make myself feel better enough to not be the victim on a regular basis?!

[greenrainbow]

Hi! First, great that you have reconnected with an old friend! Support from friends is what you need. Second, sorry to hear that it’s so difficult to find the right psychiatrist! I’m in the same shoes and o know how horrible it can be. You just have to keep trying though. And in the meantime it’s good to use this community and do reading and healing by yourself. I wish I could give you more support but it doesn’t come to my mind now. Take care please!

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Hi Meganlodon01,

Welcome.

In my opinion and personal experience, symptoms are the most important focus.

Lots of people with C-PTSD get misdiagnosed for example. Sometimes this can lead to wrong medication or therapy that can cause further harm.

That's why I feel the symptoms are more accurate.

Personally I focused on my goals (like being able to sleep better without nightmares etc).

Public health system is not always recognizing complex trauma and therefore no treatment is provided unless you are military or first responder. This happened to me - I was refused EMDR.

I found a private therapist with experience in different kinds of trauma who follows somatic experiencing protocol. It's been more helpful than anything else.

Also self help books and resources like "The body keeps the score" and other books/ podcasts.

I just wanted to share that at a point in my life I felt I had nowhere to go in my recovery yet I held on to hope that somehow it is possible. I refused to give up and through self help at first I started working on myself that eventually led to healing.

I didn't know how that healing would look like but I believed that it's possible for me and kept trying.

Setting a healing intention can be a powerful first step that jump starts your recovery even if you don't know exactly how to heal.

[Mickey1953]

"How do I make myself feel better enough to not be the victim on a regular basis?!"

Well, you have come to this place, and it has helped me just to be able to talk with others that are dealing with similar issues.

And when you get those flashes of anger... write. Type it all into a word document, say everything you want to say, as angrily as you feel, then save it into a folder on a thumb drive. That's your 'black box'. You can set it aside for a while, once you have vented, and do something else without your head turning the issue over and over. Go back and vent more if you need to.

I used to brood over events and situations that were bothering me, and the brooding made it worse. I started the writing thing, and I don't know exactly how, but it has helped. I go back to read what I wrote again, and can see how my perspective changes, for better or worse. It's a learning process, I think. It helps to clarify thoughts and analyze circumstances.

Take care, and try to just breathe for a while.