I think I may have PTSD

[stars14]

Since last one year I've been going to therapy on and off, for my "anxiety". I'm at a point where it's almost under control but I always knew everything is not yet fine. I was bullied, never physically but verbally and emotionally for more than a year. During that time I had no one to go to, I was so ashamed, I even try to avoid it in therapy. It was a situation wherein everyone in my class hated me and tortured me. I don't like to talk about it much, it was embarrassing. No one was my friend back then (5 years ago), so I always try to surround myself with people, so that I'm never alone, so that I cannot be attacked at. Today it happened, I was alone in a crowd with students all around, and I couldn't stand alone. I had to wait there to get some work done but it became really intense, I felt unsafe and powerless, it was like a deja vu, I didn't have any flashbacks but it was too familiar. It was like everyone was looking at me and were about to come and boom! So I left as fast as I could. Then I started to think about where I wasn't able to get my anxiety under control and they were similar situations. I don't remember it ever happening before bullying. After that everything started changing for me and I never noticed till now. I knew it had an impact but never the intensity of the impact. During bullying all I wanted was to keep it a secret, I was scared that if others found out, I would never be treated normally and what was being done to me would come out in the public. I'm still scared and I avoid large groups of people where I can't be myself. Has anyone experienced it? Do you think bullying can lead to PTSD?

[Beingindependent Volunteer]

Oh yes. I felt very scared of others. Girls would pick on me wanted to call me out meant they wanted to fight me. I would run away. They called me chicken but I had all my bones intact.

Yes it’s ptsd to feel that de ja vu feeling.

It’s the stress you feel from the trauma you experienced.

Keep people around you. Keep your safe people with you.

Be Leary of others but hope you can find balance so you can live your life.

Take care

[Shy_Guy]

Stars14,

I was bullied as a kid in 6th and 7th grade. I think everyone is different and can experience lasting PTSD in different ways. I am 59 years old now and I still remember the pain and fear of being chased by a crowd of other students and corned only to be beaten up by them. I did not have anyone to talk to or process the event with. I think if I had the resources to get therapy for these events, I might not remember them so vividly.

My home life was not safe either so I thought I deserved the abuse at school so I did not think I needed help. It was just something I had to endure.

So if I could talk to my younger self, I would suggest to him to talk about the emotions. Talk about the fear and insecurities to a trusted person to get through it. I would tell him that he did not deserve the abuse and he could get help to have it stopped. That no one should have to deal with abuse alone.

Weather or not PTSD could be attributed to the bullying at school, I do not really know. I think a therapist could help with this. It really does not matter to me though. It matters that the emotions are acknowledged and dealt with as they come up. This way there is a chance that it will not become big or a problem in the future.

[stars14 in reply to Shy_Guy]

That's exactly what I think. If only at that time I had a safe space where I could just let everything out, and schools and colleges should have that safe space and a choice for the victim to decide what he/she wants to do in that situation. Now I have that Safe Space and I'm grateful for it, it taught me to encourage people to talk to me, and I assure them of respecting their privacy and not judging them.