Everyone around me is a psycho

[Agara33]

When did everyone go crazy? Why do I find myself here? Because I’m basically homeless and dependent on people....very bad, very low on the food chain. I’m just venting here because there’s no one I can talk to. I live at a friends though I cannot go back there it’s become totally toxic. My other friends say he is in love with me and it expresses itself in him being very stifling and overbearing. It seamed like I can survive it since it’s only temporary but I eventually get drained to a degree that scares me, really crashing physically. Then I looked for a temporary solution which I found to go away for a couple days to take a break-he gets upset, I have to fish around for him to tell me what’s going on because he only answers sure, whatever. He says it’s the way I do things but won’t explain further—when he sees me in a terrible state he wants to talk and no matter how much energy I put into trying to understand him and explain my part he keeps pushing and dissecting and keeps wanting to revisit it over and over as if there is something there he will finally resolve. But I’m very very sick and can’t even deal with myself. Then I go to a friends in another city—-I can’t complain because he has invited me to his home but then he cooks food only for himself and eats it in front of me, wakes me up early when he wakes up and then when I bring take out for both of us he eats his and half of mine before I had the chance—-I’m like what planet am I on? Then by chance a girlfriend of mine is in town-I spent the day with her and it was nice....the following day she says she wants to go to an exhibition and to call her in the morning- she had me on stand by all morning telling me one more hour each time, when I finally got to her place she still had me wait for 2 hours while she was on the phone, she of course always wants me to meet her where she is, always wants to eat only what she wants, go where she wants, changes her mind literally sometimes every ten minutes, has a million demands and is oblivious of everyone around her. She also told me she is going through a lot so she can’t listen to my problems but does a juggling act of hers-her ex boyfriends, her mom, her medical issues and the entire process and all the decisions she is making. I told myself that that’s just her and now I know—-that next time she can come to me or not at all. What is the next act? I am living in the circus. If you read this far than thanks and I’m sorry for all the complaining....illness and homelessness is not a good combination.

[SavingGrace Administrator]

Hey agara33 - it does certainly feel and appear that you are in tough scenarios - unsupportive at he most. I'm sorry you are experiencing such tough times. You deserve better. When someone opens up their homes to us in support, it should never become a difficult situation. I hope you find one friend right now with whom no questions are asked, no demands made and, just compassion and support given. Praying for you for this outcome xxxxx

[Agara33 in reply to SavingGrace]

Thank you saving grace—it might just happen, depending on people when I’m in trouble is really really tough

[Agara33 in reply to Agara33]

Your reply is very kind

[Barney-1]

Drop the narcissist boys and girls who don’t care.. find a recovery house. Worry about #1

[Agara33 in reply to Barney-1]

no such thing as a recovery house where i come from