Boss is a trigger

**** This post may have triggers, physical assault, weapon references

My boss is a trigger sometimes. Makes it hard to look forward to another 'productive day'.

Every one that I work with knows that my boss is a bit of a bully. He plays 'buddy-buddy' with one person at a time and complains about them to the 'current' buddy. Also he tells people that their work is shit, expects us to work in silence when HE is in a bad mood, orders us around like children, and gets really angry and storms around cursing at us under his breath. You can feel the anger coming off him. He communicates poorly and doesn't respect us.

Most of us have learned not to take his moods personally but they still affect us. I know this type of bullying isn't really that bad but I am sensitive to this type of behavior. When this happens I go into 'rescue' mode and try to 'save' the other staff. I then begin to feel that we are being 'trapped' and that a possible violent situation will occur. This is because I was threatened physically with a weapon. The anger of that person made me freeze into automatic obedience. She told me to sleep and I did. It was surreal.

So when I feel trapped, I begin to panic. I don't trust anyone around me. I start to look for a way out. My work has triggered me sometimes. I then begin to say, please only schedule me for weekends. I can only work weekends when the boss is not around. Yesterday I confronted my bosses boss and told him that the staff was being mistreated. Probably it is an over reaction. I am a little confused. Does anyone have advice?

9 Replies

  • Hi

    I m sorry to hear that.I get triggers from my boss too! but then I get triggers when I m not at work...few deep breaths sometimes help!and count till 10

  • thanks train80 hopefully i will feel less anxious soon

  • I get triggered all over the place at work too for various reasons, situations and by different people. My entire job function is just one big trigger I think.

    I don't think "its not that bad" or that you overreacted. What you describe is most certainly unacceptable (and cruel) mistreatment from a boss. Kudos to you for escalating to his boss. That takes courage!

    I easily feel trapped and then can sometimes very easily fall into panic. Not helpful when on the job. Just makes the stress I'm dealing with that much more stressful! So I can relate to high level work anxiety all the time (though mine is thankfullly not due to a boss yelling at me...I have clients who are super demanding and relentless).

    I feel for you in your situation. I hope your escalating to his boss helps alleviate the situation.

  • Thanks Gemini that is really helpful, I often do not know where I stand because of his behavior and it makes me wonder what is really going on. I worry about over reacting because people act as if his behavior is just 'part of the job'. But I feel that the longer we let it be that way, it will just continue and create unnecessary stress for employees. Thanks for being supportive.

  • You're absolutely right! Evil prevails only when good men stand by and do nothing. The world needs more people like you. I go nuts sometimes when people say "that's just the way it is". Well nothing will EVER change for the good if every person took that lazy way out.

  • No-one has the right to do that Zipper. It is an abuse of power and it is bullying. He pays you for the work you do not for the privilege of making you miserable and vulnerable. It would be so easy to leave but you are fighting your corner which is pretty damn cool from where I'm standing. We are fighting different battles on here but I think we are the bravest group of people I know. You carry on doing what you do. My battle with my bosses is ongoing but I will not give up. People on here are my role model. It seems to me bullying is everywhere. So wrong on so many levels. Stay strong - you deserve better. :)

  • Hey thanks Margot56 that is a great post and I appreciate it. Perhaps bullying is so rampant because so many people now feel that they have fewer choices in life even though it would appear that we have many more choices than before. It seems the world is going through a shift and big changes and people are unsettled. But maybe this is just me. at any rate, you are right, there is no excuse for bullying and it isn't worth the money to be in a place to feel threatened and anxious. However, I realize that like every one else on the planet, I also need to eat. ;-) Thanks for that encouragement.

  • Yes that eating thing bloody nuisance along with our bills. I think people are so afraid of so many things they demean others to make themselves feel better. You can be sure the thorn in your side is not a happy bunny. Still does not give him the right. And you are welcome :)

  • Would it be possible to find another job? You are right to be upset, bullying is abusive and a behavior issue that he may not be willing or aware enough to change. My experience with bullies is to delete them from my life. It is not good for your emotional health and well being. This kind of thing will only aggravate symptoms. You have my support and hopefully upper management will want to encourage a more functional work environment. Best of luck....

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