i need to start over

[venusianlove]

ive lost everything because of PTSD. most recently, my partner. we dated on and off for five years and i was never able to really open up and allow myself to fully receive and give love. i hate myself right now because i couldn't allow myself to have the one thing i wanted more than anything...love.

when am i supposed to with my head and when am i supposed to go with my heart?

now im thinking about giving up on everything and just starting all over.

i don't know if im just running away or if im going with my heart. but sometimes my gut really is wrong... because ptsd fucks up my judgment... ugh.. i dont know what to do!

[Ellen6 Major Contributor]

I’m sorry to hear about the break up. Really feel for you as break ups are so hard and with ptsd it must be incredibly difficult.

I think giving up on everything may be a way of running away. Maybe try and think about what you want - do you want a new start somewhere different or is it better to carry on where you are? Sometimes we think things will be easier if we start over but if we still have ongoing, unresolved emotional issues they just carry on somewhere else. That old saying - the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

It probably isn’t best to make major changes/ decisions if you are going through a break up. Perhaps let things settle a bit and then decide.

Are you getting any therapy?

🌸🌼🌺💐🌻

[Agara33]

No one can really tell you, but in my experience staying despite the challenges is important...if they are challenges and not dangers. It would be interesting to see if you could come through difficult times within yourself without depending on outside circumstances. Still, you know the best answer...maybe the one that whispers.💛

[venusianlove]

I’m feeling less confused and overwhelmed today. Thank you for your support 🤗

[SavingGrace Administrator]

I'm sorry to hear this. Love can turn our world upside down - or cause more anxiety. When it's on top of PTSD, it's hard to know which way to move forward, I agree.

I always feel that's it is important to finish the creative cycle you have begun if you can, to receive an outcome. Sure, the love interest has dissipated, but what else is important for you - if it happens to be moving away, then you'll know, I believe.. listen to your gut