Happy Day!!!

I had a good day today no major triggers if I felt one starting I would use my elastic band! I even had a laugh with the boss he said he was going to sack me for laughing so much!! I turned round and said and I'll report you for Ageism!! Don't know if there is such a thing but it sounded good at the time! He said are you taking happy pills!! No I've found some new friends I can speak to without someone judging me!! Ok well keep it up we like this new you!! No that's the old me peeking through!!! This forum is the best 😉⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️Xx

[andrea_27]

So happy for you - here's hoping you get more and more days like this. Yes, this forum is great, isn't it? xx

[Hidden in reply to andrea_27]

Thanks mijas07 yes this forum is great I've come on leaps and bounds since I became a member . Just talking about my problems to everyone really helps I just get rolled eyes at home 😟But I'm expected to listen and solve everyone's problems which are a lot at the moment but nobody wants to listen to mum! It really hurts! But heyho I've got this brilliant group! 😀🌻 xxx

[syltownsend]

I'm glad you're having a great day! Yes, there certainly is something called ageism. I don't know where you are, but in US you can join AARP if you are over 50. It doesn't cost much and is well worth it because of multiple benefits and lots of good information for us older folks. Check it out at aarp.com.

[Hidden in reply to syltownsend]

I'm in Scotland don't know if we have anything like that here will check it out anyway 😊🌻xx

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Great to hear positive feedback...it matters a lot and makes me happy when others are happy.

Seeing your old self shining through is amazing...it's often the loss of self that is so difficult. To be able to feel like myself again is very precious...

To many more happy days xxx

[syltownsend in reply to Nathalie99]

Yes, but for me it has not been "finding my old self again" because there was never a time before the abuse. So it has been starting from scratch, trying to figure out who the hell I am and what I need and want out of life. At age 70 I'm happy to say that I am finally there!

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to syltownsend]

That's really big that you can now say that you are there, syltownsend.

That's a blessing.

I can imagine that one needs to find sense of self from scratch.

I had my pre trauma identity by some miracle and was at a place where trauma didn't have impact on my life. Trying to figure things out but it takes time.

[GeminiDancer Major Contributor in reply to syltownsend]

I'm in the same boat syltownsend. The traumatic abuse was from the very start of my life. It's indescribably difficult to find your identity after never having the opportunity in the first 18 yrs of your life.

So happy to hear you've found it!!!!

[syltownsend in reply to GeminiDancer]

Thanks, GeminiDancer, that means a lot!

[Hidden in reply to syltownsend]

Hi syltownsend well done you and Thankyou for sharing. I am so happy you have found yourself that is such a great thing! My PTSD was caused by the trauma of illness three years ago. But I was only diagnosed last September my doctor used to send me away and tell me to get over it! Take care 🌻😟x

[syltownsend in reply to Hidden]

Looking back, "myself" was there all along, just had to see through/around the fog of abuse & ptsd and gather up the scattered bits that I had left behind because there was too much association with abuse and shaming about not being what my parents thought I "should" be, and realizing that no one has the right to tell me who I am, what I feel/should feel, what I should think & believe, & how I "should" live my life, & what will make me happy. Only I have the right to determine that.

[syltownsend in reply to Hidden]

Oh I hate that your doctor did that! "Get over it" is probably the worst thing anybody can say to us, and a doctor should know better!

I no longer believe that human beings "get over" anything." We owe a lot to the field of grief counseling, which says that people don't "get over" losing a loved one and "get back to normal." We just learn to adjust to a new normal. That's not pessimistic, it's just recognizing that life is a continuing process that has a beginning and an end. Like it or not, we are continually changing, mentally, emotionally, and physically, throughout our lives. Ideally we learn to accept our losses and incorporate them into who we are.

Last week on one of my very favorite radio programs, On Being on NPR, Pauline Boss t was discussing "the myth of closure." She says we have a "culture of mastery," that says we must conquer our losses so they cease to affect us, but that is just not real. It can be a very destructive myth too, because when people don't "get over it, " they can see themselves as failures. She was talking about losses to death, but all losses have much in common. It all makes so much sense to me and helps me to accept that while I never will be unaffected by my trauma, I can still have a very good and very happy life.

And I do!

onbeing.org