Going through the motions

Hi, i'm new to this section but also have hep c.

..After childhood family trauma gave me chronic ptsd, still feel depersonalised and spaced out..50 years later.

.some may pay good money to feel like this but it's a strange mind set.

,although function ' normally' in most ways,

.has anyone else experienced/ cured this?

..not on any rec. drugs/ meds.

6 Replies

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  • Glad you are here and expressing how you feel. I have ptsd. Repressed what happened for years and it's a hard road but I do different things to cope. Writing in a journal, walks in a park every other day, talking to others, this website, books from the library or books I own. Prayer. It's hard and hope that you know you aren't alone and we are here for you. Take care.

  • Thanks ..

    Your reply is really appreciated, I read,walk and pray also,

    even my close friends, daughter have no idea as I appear,talk/act 'normally',

    When I was five years old my sister became very ill and never recovered.

    Both my parents had breakdowns and I was left on my own most of the time.

    My mother became very violent and my father totally rejecting.

    I stammered so badly couldn't even say my name.

    Then came the hyper vigilantism/depersonalisation and a bad psychotic breakdown in my 20's,

    Years on meds/rec.drugs and the icing on the cake hep c.

    I still coped with bringing up my daughter..who works for N.H.S. and took in rescue animals for 20 years.

    Now i'm very isolated,live rurally,no car,see friends rarely.

    Thanks again for replying to me.

  • You are very welcome. You are a very strong person. You've been through so much. Yet you are here and we are here to support you. I hope that you feel encouraged and reach out and let us know how you are. Glad you are here. Life feels so hard sometimes. So many paths that feel so unfair but living in the present and just doing this moment and accepting what has happened and having hope and continuous courage to keep moving on. You are so lucky you have a daughter. You are such a strong person. I never had any children. I'm married but was so deceived on so many levels that what I thought to be true as I was younger with family members that betrayed and hurt me, professionals that deceived me isn't true as I'm older. I have a lot of repressed memories that are surfacing and it's really hard to take. So much unhappiness that so many of us experience is amazing that we are all still here. So the hurt hurts so bad sometimes. But we fight on no matter what level of hurt we are on. We are still here. We need to find our way through and just know you aren't alone. I'm glad you are here.

  • Thanks so much for your inspiring reply,

    I think if you have serious issues in life and children on top of that it can be too much.

    .I wish you (and everyone on this site) all you need for the joyful life you deserve

  • Staying far far away from triggers and surrounding yourself with new experiences and people. Not the same ol feelings but fresh start feelings everywhere you go. Imagine you are traveling in another country. Do something different, take a bus if you usually don't, etc. you won't feel the same because the things having your attention and ignitiating your thoughts won't be the same.

  • Thanks , that sounds good suggestion, except my spaced out mindset is not dependent on externals..a change of scenery though should make me feel better.

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