I feel like the only one being responsible. - Heal My PTSD

Heal My PTSD

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I feel like the only one being responsible.

17 Replies

I have been very responsible from an early age. I need to cool it. So worried to let up that something bad might happen. I feel responsible for others that don't know better. Just feeling frustrated right now. Everyone I see just looks like they go around having a grand time and being what I would call irresponsible and having fun and stuff. Kinda jealous. Need to work on me but I don't feel safe. I don't trust these people. I guess I am having a hard time right now. I have a roof over my head and everything so I am ok just how do others get through this?

17 Replies

Sound like older sibling or the coast guardTgecoldcsalts ardctgd only to listen

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.i can relate

May be ?? Small steps

.tk u for being so reliabld tho

Sorry not more help otherwise will bdcbe

in reply to

You're sweet Brig :) Thank you.

in reply to

I am the oldest. Thank you for understanding. 🤗

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Ah MS Cinderella I mean .cjnfy

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in reply to

Oh Cindy??

U are now inducted into

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Awards 1980 through 2020

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I love this part of my job

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I love itvwhen Cinderella wins

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I think We will name

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SavingGrace profile image
SavingGraceAdministrator

Reading this does remind me somewhat of how I used to feel - responsible for everyone. And that's no mean feat! Of course not everyone needs looking after... and I wondered at one point, if it meant I was a control freak type. But I don't think you should ever give up on trying to be responsible or wishing the best for everyone. It's a wonderful path to take.

Sometimes, though, it is about finding the right way to do so.

And in making that decision, I found it helpful to think about why I felt so responsible for others. I realised that it came from a place of guilt. Enter left stage: years of questioning.

No guilt is not good, responsibility is however. So for me, it was about learning to draw out the positives of being a responsible person for so long, vs learning to let go of the motive of guilt - and working towards finding a healthier way forward for me to respect my own life more.

Yes, I get that - learning to feel safe enough before you can learn to let go and trust yourself, to live your own life.

But these two things can take place in a parallel way...

I would just recognise that you are a responsible person and give thanks for that - being gracious is important.... and with that you CAN allow yourself to bestow blessings on your self.

Take it easy.... today is definitely a goodhairday!!! <3 xxx

in reply toSavingGrace

I actually wrote some of your ideas down. I am going to talk to my therapist tomorrow. Thanks to everyone. :D

Oh my gosh! I know what it was that made me feel guilty. I don't need to feel that way. I'm so glad that situation is over aah.

Nathalie99 profile image
Nathalie99Partner

It is hard when you get used to protecting others, Goodhairday.

As a child I took care of my alcoholic father and that responsibility wasn't mine. At some point I realized that I am only responsible for my own life (and any children I might have) but it was very hard watching someone destroy their life and getting in life threatening situations every day.

Later I felt responsible for someone with a medical condition that wasn't taking care of himself and sadly died. Faced multiple traumatic situations and I don't think I recovered from that.

I think that this feeling of responsibility is linked to greater chance of having PTSD because of someone else so it's a very important subject to talk about with a therapist.

I really don't know how to emotionally process this even though on a rational level it wasn't my responsibility, they were both adults, but on a deeper level I need to process the trauma at some point.

I hope you find some advice and ability to set up boundaries.

Wishing you strength...

in reply toNathalie99

Thank you and same for you.

Lindyloo53 profile image
Lindyloo53Volunteer

I’m sorry your having a hard time at the moment. I do think when we’ve experienced bad situations ourselves we kind of want to save others from going through similar. The thing is if they are adults they really don’t need us rescuing them. We are programmed from an early age to do this when we have been abused but it is not mine or your responsibility to do this.

in reply toLindyloo53

Thanks that's a valid point.

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