This may or may not be progress....It's cold and frigid here in Boston. But entering my car and waiting for the heat to get warm made me FEEL the warmth of the heat contrasting with the outside temperatures. For YEARS when this time of year comes around - Yeah, I knew the heat was on and I knew it was cold outside - but my body would still not FEEL the warmth and enjoy it.
What I would do is intellectualize it thinking, ok the heat is coming from the engine and blowing through the vents, and so what? It's still cold outside, what if my heat didn't work, what if I had to walk in the freezing air, what if I didn't have a car. what if, what if what if, what if...
But tonight driving home I enjoyed the physical FEELING of just being in the hot car.
Progress? Can anyone relate???
Bless,
Jamie
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jamie2727
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Well, I Can't Drive a car, but I can relate to how good it feels to get out of the cold. The Canadian Prairies can get pretty darn cold (one record was -65 below zero with the windchill a few years back). If it's too cold, my cat will even pester me to put a Sweater on him!
I think my point is that I was able to feel a physical feeling of comfort. It doesn't matter the circumstance. I would hope the same thing would occur if it was 100 degrees out and I got in the car and turned the AC on and was able to just FEEL the FFELING of comfort. It not obsess about why is it I am feeling this feeling - when I do that process I am dissociating from life.
I guess what I am comparing the incident last night to is what Michelle started to discover in her book before life interrupted - she started to learn to salsa dance which forced her to feel her body.
I can relate to the cold there. I visited my daughter and her family there one February, and it was so cold I still remember it.
I think my point is that I was able to feel a physical feeling of comfort. It doesn't matter the circumstance. I would hope the same thing would occur if it was 100 degrees out and I got in the car and turned the AC on and was able to just FEEL the FFELING of comfort. It not obsess about why is it I am feeling this feeling - when I do that process I am dissociating from life.
I guess what I am comparing the incident last night to is what Michelle started to discover in her book before life interrupted - she started to learn to salsa dance which forced her to feel her body.
When we have been disassociated from our feelings as a protection mechanism, regaining the ability to feel again and enjoy a feeling is exciting! Soak up that warmth and savor the enjoyment! Way to GO!
Yes! I know what you mean. I am ALWAYS cold anyway, poor circulation. And since my trauma feeling cold and even shivering has been a real issue. This morning it was cold when I got up and I grabbed a sweater that I hadn't worn in a while, an oversized soft wooly one. And when I put it on I just stood perfectly still because I felt like the sweater was hugging me! I literally felt it seeping into my back. It's was weird and wonderful. I stood there for about a full minute just savoring it, trying to intentionally intensify that neural pathway.
Then I opened up my computer and read your post. Congratulations! I think this is a really significant recovery moment. And thanks for sharing.
I totally get it. I have an electric blanket on my bed and when I am having a bad day I like to hibernate with it. It feels safe and cozy. I don't like being too hot or too cold at all. It's interesting how we talk to ourselves and the similarities that we have.
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