Insecurities

[Jenna9812]

Keep me from being supportive to others here on this site and in life. I've read so many posts and so badly wanted to offer some kind of helping advice or words of encouragement. I feel so broken that my words would be meaningless. How do I overcome the feeling of worthlessness so not only to help myself but to help others which is what is in my true nature?

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Hi Jenna,

You just start...write a reply and post it. That's how you can try to overcome this. I've felt exactly like that at first and thought I would never say a word because I felt so insecure ("what do I have to offer") but the need to be a part of a community was stronger.

I still have this feeling at times even now, one year later.

I hope it helps you feel comfortable in whatever extent you want to participate. You can share as much or as little as you want. Or you can simply relate to others.

[SavingGrace Administrator]

Exactly as Nathalie says...

just start. write what and how you feel if you like, in response to somebody else's post.

Beginning a dialogue of any sort is great :o)

[peacefulandcalm Encourager]

I relate. sometimes I can't help others if I am too upset. then so grateful for others help, encouragement.

ok, here is an example, I am in my head thinking, should I just not respond, don't know if what I am writing is helpful in any way!! and I really am not too balanced yet today.

And other times if I feel a bit of calm and something comes up to say in me, I say it. And then worry if I said the wrong thing sometimes. but we can only do our best and if that is what we do, then doing good.

The self doubt comes up over and over, but take a tiny baby step is what I do and you may be surprised, you could help people you don't even know you are helping.

worthlessness comes up a lot for me. I ask for validation, support, tell people I feel worthless. Ask my boyfriend to tell me what is good about me

read the Bible, other spiritual books, go into nature and listen to God, talk to the crows who don't think I am worthless, talk to validating friends, pet my little Emma. treat self nicely even when feeling worthless. I struggle too with it.

and yeah, just write whatever you feel like writing. whatever pops into your head. It is probably very good and helpful, just self doubt taking over in the brain which happens all the time to me.

Fear of rejection, abandonment, betrayal, meanness, cruelty, not good enough, bad, no worth like you said. These thoughts get in the way.

Not true though, we all are very worthwhile, I believe all have special God given gifts, none like us, and all have much to add I believe, our unique strengths.

totally relate though.

[AnyaC]

Jenna, I think most of us have this problem! We live in fear, doubt.... but we're not alone! All the rest of us feel this way, too, and often, what someone responds in a post is exactly what I need to hear! This is a safe place and your comments are more than welcome here. Every time we respond, we take the chance and often wonder if we should have kept quiet.... but that's o.k.! We never know if what we say is the only thing that will make sense to someone sometimes. You have no reason to feel insecure here - don't get me wrong - I completely get it! I understand why you feel that way! But what I'm saying is that there's no reason here, because you are safe and understood and welcome. You are precious, you are important, and you are worthwhile. I'm sure what you write will be, too!

[Lindyloo53 Volunteer]

Ji Jenna, it's almost like we have to get over ourselves. For me in not offering anything I was saying my PTSD is so much worse than yours, I'm special, I have nothing to contribute...if that makes sense. Offering too much of yourself does not mean your saying your better than, have all the answers, know so much more than...etc...it simply means you have an opinion on or suggestion for. You can't go wrong because everyone here has choice on whether to take on board something or say that's not for me. Even if it's not for that person someone else reading what you've said it might resonate with them. In not sharing you are in effect isolating yourself. I'd say give it a go, you never know what friends you might make here.

[nessa3]

Hey...just send hugs.....its ok..I dont have alot to say like some others on this site but just let people know your listening and care...