Survivor

Does anyone think what a strange world we live in that we "survived" our childhood? Whilst others played and were nurtured I was attacked and abused. So surviving is meant to be a good thing.

Someone please give me some perspective on my anger here maybe it might also give me some compassion for others around me complain about the most normal things.

I'm so angry

14 Replies

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  • I can relate to the anger. I struggle with jealousy that morphs into anger over how others lives are and especially how they were brought up (with love and support). I can get pretty annoyed when others complain about trivial matters. I try to maintain perspective and remind myself that everything in life is relative so what others think is big is not to us bc what we've endured. But I try to remember it's not their fault and their relative perspective is just different in life. That can help my anger at them but them I loop back into jealousy which can morph back to anger. Can be a vicious cycle and one I just try to be conscious and aware of. I know it is really difficult and sometimes more than others. You are not alone.

  • I really wish people could live the life of a badly abused person for one day. Just to see the utter crap that goes thru our heads and the amount of bad thoughts we battle. I thought I was strange, different and a bad person until I read some of these posts. I can see that given my circumstances, I'm quite normal. My weakness is my ability to control these feelings and its wreaking my life. I spend my life thinking, this isn't fair, I'm not good enough, worrying my partner will abandon me. I live in fear all the time to the point where I think it's better and easier not to join the world so I don't have to deal with it. I really feel like I'm going mad...

  • I've truly longed for the same thing so many times---that people could live in my skin with my past and present even just for one day!! I too always thought I was so abnormal and something so wrong with me but this site had helped me SO MUCH to realize how normal our reactions really are. You're not going mad though I know it really feels like it sometimes!! Our reactions are normal given the abnormal circumstances we come from.

  • I try so hard to be positive and a lot of the time I just can't

    I'm so angry. Partner has turned his back on me I can't work, I feel very alone

  • Thank you for responding.

  • Are you in the UK Kerry? If so, it may be worth your while contacting the Survivors Network. I'm on their waiting list for counselling which is unfortunately quite long but their are specialists in childhood abuse. I hope you can find something that helps you learn how to cope with your anger and use it in a constructive way.

    Peace and love to you.

  • No I'm in Australia

  • People try to take a terrible situation and put a big red bow on it. I am going to be quite honest about it. It's like putting whipped cream on dog shit. It's still dog shit. It's rationalization. They tell me I'm here for a reason. I guess 50 million people who died in WW2 had no reason to be here.......................They won't see your pain so they don't have to feel it. I accept pain. Everybody's pain. You have my support. Pain is pain. You can't have a contest. Everybody's pain hurts. Love AG.

  • I don't wish to have a contest. I'd just like people to understand how hard it is, and be supportive but I honestly don't think I have a partner how is supportive. He says he is, then when I'm ill he runs at the first chance he gets with no understanding of what that does.

  • I understand. No contest intended. just trying in my own way to be supportive.

  • Kerryneedstosmile, I get it. I'm with you completely. I wish we could get together and just break some shit. I tend to fluctuate between wanting to cry....or punch someone in the face.

    I don't want to ramble, just want you to know you're not alone.

  • Amen, alamagoosa!

  • asca.org.au/Home.aspx I've just found this organisation Kerry, maybe they could offer you some help?

  • Thank you so much

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