feel isolated

and need to get out to visit friends, maybe some function with people. But it has been so long since I have done much of that. Except short visits to friends. So hard when I am scared from PTSD and depressed at the same time.

All the core issues come up at holidays. All the worries flood the mind. Worries about me and money. Worries about loved ones and well being of all.

Know I have to move by next March does not ease the stress. But I have to remember that is in the future. Stay in the now.

I know I have friends who would love to see me, and I would love to see them, but I am depressed and they have a hard time too this time of year. We all need to have one place to meet like on that show Friends, Cafe Perk, where we always go to get support and just have some warm beverage.

I really should invite my friend Carol to kareoke. She loves to sing and wants to sing more. She is not feeling well either. So much effort and takes so much when one is so tired too.

Dealing with money stuff, father issues, PTSD, drains me no matter what time of year, this time of year, worse.

Well, back to being gentle on myself, maybe some tea. Finish xmas cards. Maybe have a fire.


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