New Diagnosis

[dresbach9494]

I suspected PTSD. Wondered how I could get it, as I have always fought to stay out of depression. It's two different things. Panic attacks are horrible and prescription drugs made them worse. Now dealing with friends, who care, but don't understand. Very painful place to be.

[Hidden]

I have found it difficult with friends and family also. They don't "see" what I'm feeling inside. It's frustrating as they think it's not as bad as it is and that "we all have those kinds of issues." I've dealt with anxiety, panic and depression on and off over the years but NOTHING like this until 3 years ago. I'm now trying to be a bit more positive with them and not share too much. (I have a habit of doing that as I've been isolated for so long.) I can't blame them for not understanding. I would never have believed I could feel this terrified. That said... there is still HOPE!

[Eragon in reply to Hidden]

Hi mia9 I know exactly how you feel sweetie. Friends and family find it very difficult to understand the symptoms of PTSD which is not surprising as I am currently in hospital and even most of the staff don't get the extremes of emotions we feel. I have been left totally suicidal and ignored and I really understand where your coming from. Please don't despair I have decided that I going to write a paper on this and at least try and present it to my local psychiatric unit and maybe try to get it published. Please hang in there I'm here for you and so are many others on this site. There is hope your right and I'm going to do my best to get the information from our perspective out there. Please try and take care of yourself love Eragon

[SavingGrace Administrator in reply to Hidden]

You're right: there is still hope :O)

That process of bringing all sides of your world together, whilst getting used to PTSD, depression, anxiety and panic attacks et al, is hard. Yet it is not beyond impossible! I agree that it helped to not tell too much to folk, as being too open and honest led to people freaking out, perhaps, at me.

It can be lonely - of course - so finding true confidents is still key. Yet you can 'tailor' your story maybe?

I confided more deeply with key confidents - a spiritual healer, a friend of my mothers, an empty church! and so on.

It is terrifying, it truly is.... and whilst going through that terror, it does seem incredulous that 'you' are going through such horror...

So it is important to share as this helps reconnect. Panic, Anxiety and stress seem to depersonalise and de-realise our beings...

Allowing small fragments of our souls to contemplate the pain and terror, in these isolated periods, ensures the horror does not run riot freely!

I can only empathise immensely and swear on oath that this ghastly feeling and experience does and can be alleviated.

I definitely agree that HOPE is something to hold on to. It allow for 'meaning' to continue to be welcomed at our door. But if hope is not there, then do something in Nature, to help reconnect. Just being in the outdoors frees the mind and being, the spirit slowly begins to feel again.

It took me 4 years to get the correct diagnosis. It felt like hell in between.

I wish I had done more to be in the outdoors, rather than coup myself up inside. I wish I had moved away from persons who were bullying, not supporting me because of my illness.

As soon as I was surrounded by good people, who supported me and cared - even if we were not 'category 1st friends!!!!' I felt greatly empowered compared to 'so called closer friends who betrayed my sense of well-being by dismissing me'. It is hard to others, yet this mental illness needs a big bandage or something, to cross our face, heart soul, so that folk know to take care and be tender with us. Having troubling friends can only increase the terrifying feeling.

Find sanctuary in good confidents....

they are out there.