Intolerable reality


Three massive abandonment triggers in two weeks and finding it hard to function. I've been told these deep depression is intolerable reality. I walk around with a feeling of such hurt having nightmares and really isn't anyone's fault, it's just life.

I'm doing all sorts of things to try and overcome such as mindfulness just find myself in deep sorrow - so Lonely and hurting so much I'm not able to function for long. I'm having massive aderalin surges and feel really ill. Is there anyone out ther that can help me. What do you do, what works for you. I want to smile again and enjoy the sunshine

Need help

6 Replies

  • All I can think of is allow yourself to grieve. It sounds as if there is a volcano of grief which you are trying to keep inside. Grief like this unless expressed turns into the deepest depression - I know because I have been there.

    Seek out someone you trust, a counsellor or such and allow your grief to leak away.

    I wish you well as you embrace this part of your recovery journey.

  • What works for me is resting my mind & body. My therapist told me I need "rest" days. And tomorrow is a rest day for me. I'm not feeling that good with my asthma & arthritis which makes me feel down bc I hurt inside AND outside of my body.

    So, I will snuggle on the couch tomorrow, & watch a good movie. And not feel guilty about this. I need my rest days.

    Then, I will feel good as new for awhile, less pain in my joints, a lighter heart and proud I took care of myself first.

    The sadness may be there for an hour or so, but that's bc im still mourning my sweet father's passing.

    Try the rest days. It may work for you too. Take care.

    Warm regards


  • The physical side of life is often the bit I find I ignore at those times you are describing. So, making sure you take good care of yourself is paramount.

    Walking in fresh air, some gardening, cooking a healthy meal, watching a movie or listening to some music, taking a long relaxing bubble bath! Doing simple things and not expecting anything/much of yourself at this time - just TLC.

  • "I want to smile again and enjoy the sunshine." I love that you wrote that. To me, that's your life-force waiting just below the surface to find a way out. When I felt the way you do I looked for simple experiences that would allow me to access that feeling(s) that made me want to smile or allowed me to (however momentarily) enjoy the sunshine. Sometimes, that was sitting in the park under a tree and just appreciating the small breeze. Other times that was going dancing to really engage my whole mind and body in an experience that made me feel good.

    In addition to all of the usual self-care processes (meditation, breathwork, yoga) each of us can really benefit from looking back on our lives or looking into our selves or opening our minds to the present to notice: what makes me feel good? Then, based on that, putting in place a schedule of creating moments to experience that will help balance out the other feelings and, eventually, can give you enough strength to make the shift into a better place.

  • I feel it takes time and it's a personal journey. Different things work for different people and at different moments.

    I would say trying not to think about too much in one moment as this can be overwhelming. Knowing that there are no answers yet, that there are things that are not okay but leave the solutions for now, just focus on comforting yourself. When you gain your inner strength back, and you will, you get to a position to face those things, one by one.

  • I'm kind of in the same boat. I try to distract myself by reading, watching LOTS of Disney movies, and looking up naturopath ways to help myself. I get lost in fantasy books, and, when I can, colouring books, as crazy as that may seem.

    Family Abandonment Hurts. It is especially hard around the Holidays. I Miss my Grandma Jeanne every single day, ever since she passed away in March of 2007. But ever since she passed away, our Family doesn't really get along or support each other anymore. Feeling Alone & Hurt is very hard, but you aren't alone - not on the site, anyway.

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