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Heal My PTSD
5,174 members • 8,541 posts

⚠️⚠️TRIGGER WARNING: Sexual Abuse ⚠️⚠️

⚠️⚠️TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ABUSE ⚠️⚠️

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I've posted about this before & I'm not sure if this is the right group to post in but i had a boyfriend who sexually abused me, mentally abused me, & physically abused... It's hard for me to talk about but everytime I think i feel like I'm better I get knocked down again. I'm not entirely sure what triggers me.. but I can't have sex, I get panic attacks. I don't miss sex at all... I don't know if that's normal.. I've never seen a therapist. I've been previously treated for depression & anxiety. I'm no longer on medication because it made me more depressed. I personally went off my medication and suffered serious side effects. I barely can leave the house or drive to work. I'm afraid of doctors, I guess maybe fear of judgement... I'm not entirely sure.. I just feel numb most of the time & live life on auto pilot.

7 Replies
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Hi paigexnicole,

I'm sorry for what you have been though.

It's understandable that you feel this way. Numbing is part of the protection mechanism when we can cope, when it's too much.

I am sorry that you can barely function.

Maybe a trauma trained therapist/counselor could help with many aspects of your life and help ease the symptoms. Therapists don't prescribe medication, I think.

I just wanted to let you know that there is hope...

P.S. did you want this post unlocked- visible to anyone on the internet? I locked it but it's unlocked again. I Wil respect your preference, just let me know.

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I don't mind people being able to read it. Thank you for your input I appreciate it.

1 like
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HI Nicole

you know your not the only one that feels like you do ,which is why we go on this site its a safe place we can talk about all our unthinkable nightmares that we dont wake up from, no won knows how deep it tears us apart , i must admit i dont enjoy sex but i go thorough the act to please the man , i know its wrong but its better than trying to explain something to your man when they dont understand , but then they try and believe thay will make it better , but they dont and they wont make it better , i live with my ghosts because i am the only one that can lock them up ,, good luck xxx

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My fiancé doesn't fully understand but he accepts me and doesn't do anything that makes me uncomfortable

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I'm so sorry you are hurting. I was abused too and have anxiety and depression as well. I take medication which helps but it is normal not to be interested in sex. I'm married and have trouble with that. Don't have answers but I feel your pain. You are not alone.

1 like
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Thank you ❤️

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Thank you ❤️

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