Heal My PTSD
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Is it me ?

Here goes, sorry on advance , need to get off my chest

Well I start from the beginning. I am the youngest of four girls 👩🏻👩🏻👩🏻👩🏻. I had lived at home for quiet a while.🏠

From the very beginning my mum had never really been that supportive. When I got into to university after working so hard💫💫. Her reply was why would you want to go? You won't last down at Brighton. We'll i workedtwo jobs they never visited once while I was a university. When I graduated 🎓🎓🎓🎓🎓they were too busy come to my graduation. It was mybest friend and her mum who came.😇 .

Any way I had been single for quite some time when I meet my Partner at work at the age of 25. He was a amazing.😻😻😻😻😻 We instantly gelled💜💜💜💜💜😮. But of course my family were not.

I would like to say that I am a very caring and organised person 🙎🏻🙋who sorted out all the bills and paperwork at my parents house. I helped out because I wanted to. As my mum and dad did not have a lot of money. It was totally my choice to help them. But there comes a point where I wanted toward my own life. 👫👫

So when I met 👨*❤️*👨💑💑💑💑 we went on holiday ☀️☀️☀️☀️and I spent most weekends ⛅️⛅️⛅️with him. I stilled lived a home and paid for everyone thing.

But of course they had to have there penny worth. They didn't likHe was very frendily, brought gifts for my family at every special occasions. So when I announced I was moving in with after six months of dating(because I was sick of the negatively) 😡😡.

My mum reply ' you think you too good for us now' it won't change my life' I won't visited you anyway' I was only moving thirty Minutes away😈. The cookie really crumbled when my sister 👩🏻👩🏻phoned an started having a go at me saying I should still be paying rent to my parents even though I wasn't living there. I would like to stress that I was still paying the electricity and washing machine repair insurance.💳💳💳☎️☎️☎️ Because I wanted to help them out.😉😉

So everything was great I did not see them.😍😍 then I discovered I was pregnant👶👶👶👶👶 this was a year later.so I thought I would reconnect. At the time we were living with Christopher parents and we were looking for some new to live.

When all of a sudden my mum turned a corner and said you should move in with us. 😳😳 so all through my pregnancy we thought we move in with them. I should have known better. She turns around when I eights months pregnant when I pop in after my antenatal appointment and goes a round the houses before she says I think you get you own place.

Once again when I needed them the most they let me down. 😡😡We were only going to move in with them because it was our only option. We did not have a lot of money and no deposit for renting.😰😰😰

Anyway I had my son he was gorgeous😻. Of Course they visited me after my son. So when my son turned a year I had a party.they were of course were too busy only one of my sisters came. But we attended every family birthday even though I worked every weekend.😑😑

So when it was my mums Birthday🎁🎊🎉 I travelled there after work two trains and a bus from work on a Saturday.🚄🚃🚄 All my sisters were there. Everything seemed to be going ok. ❤️

I had brought my sister present as well as her birthday 🎁🎀🎉🎁was the following week. I had brought them Clarins gifts. Even though I a couldn't afford it.💜💜 So anyway i went the party on my own as oh was unwell.

So my sister was totally drunk at this point. She started argument saying that I think I'm too good moved. 😕😕😕That Im all for his side. I don't visit them enough. That they hate Oh he stuck up and looks down on them. All I can say was they were like attack dogs. We had a huge bust up. 😫😫😫😫😫I fought back of course with a few home truths about them.😡😡😡😡😡 My mum has eight Grandchildren 👦🏻👦🏻👦🏻👦🏻👦🏻👦🏻👦🏻👦🏻she has look after all them expect my son.👦🏻

When I had my son christening she said she was not going. She did finally. She said to Oh mum and me she would have Charlie one day when I went back to work only to deny she had offered and never had him.👿👿👿👿👿 They never make any efforts when we have birthday.😱😱😱😱 They don't even send a card. 😵😵😵😵But when it's there you have have the marching band with you. 😯😯😯😯😯They completely selfish. 💜

Of course I have not spoken to them since. We fell out a month before My son turned two and I turned thirty. No card for my son. 👦🏻👦🏻. They did not bother until it was my dad birthday they starting sending texts telling us to come. When I declined as did not feel comfortable. My sister reply was well " don't distance your self, you'll not getting any younger, if you and oh spilt up you be alone" so my reply was I never needed you. When I learned how to drive I paided for all my own lessons, I saved a year to buy my own car, when I went to university I worked three jobs to support myself and graduate

so I tried to stay positive. But then I had a lots of pressure at work. Lots of restructuring had to reply for a role. Work colleagues who are very jealous and difficult.

Then I finally went on our first family holiday in two years with the in laws. That I was really looking forward to . But I clearly released that this holiday was not about us but all about brother and sister in law . What they wanted to do , watch. Nothing about what we wanted. Two weeks of hell . Which was a huge disappointment. They seem to favour my sister in law. I felt totally excluded on this holiday. As it was all about her and what she wanted to do. I don't think they would have notice that I was not there.

I really wanted to book a flight home early but the oh did not want me too. I can clearly see that my mother in law has a favourite daughter in law already, I think they only nice to me because of their grandson. I starting to think maybe it is me. No one really seems to like me. Every time I pick my self up . Something else happens. Maybe I am cursed. I should just accepted it. Stop trying.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this xx

3 Replies

Keep trying! Make your family, partner and son your priority. Don't attend birthdays and stop buying presents. They are being awful to you, don't go when negativity reigns. If you feel inclined send them a text saying hope you have a great day. Happy birthday. You have fought so hard to get to where you are today...keep doing it.

Your son is your joy. It's very hard with in law families. If you're asked to go in another holiday with them suggest your partner goes and take some time out with you and your son doing things you would like to do with him, book him into daycare some of the time so you get some you time to have nails done, massage or whatever you choose. At your age it's not selfish to want peace and love. It sounds as if your partner loves you. He might choose instead to go on holiday with you and your son? But don't insist he not go with his parents that must be his choice. Some I laws do have favourites. That is not the fault of your sister in law can you build a relationship wth her outside of the in law parents?

Make this your priority put yourself first. Treat yourself with all of the presents you buy others so on birthdays of theirs buy them a present but give it to yourself.


Wow! This truly is heartbreaking! Not to mention I. Detest people who.think the world.owes them.a living and they are all out for what they can get. Take take take! This reply will be short but is serious! I.can categorically tell you IT IS NOT YOU! Trust me I have the same feelings though I can't take my own advice from my counseling training you feel the way you do because of your familly. These feelings cannot.intrude your life without cause. Being made to.feel inadequate, selfish left out stupid be littled beaten down with harsh words will have an effect. You will expect to.feel all of these feelings everywhere you go and subconsciously find things that are not their. It is a sad way to think allways finding something if someone looks away during conversation u think you are boring them.but your not, someone happens to look your way and laugh you think.its you but it's not. Going back to the holiday I'm not doubting they paid more attention to the sister in law, I think. Because of your own insecurities and low self esteem or confidence that instead of it just bevause to.you it feels like you are being left out and they are rubbing their favouritism in your face as a subtle hint to tell you "we like her better than you" and I. Doubt that is true, it's not your fault you have a good heart buy was taken the piss out of all.tour life.. of course that's how your going to expect people treat each other or their is something wrong with you. *ok this was suppose to be short but situations like this make my blood boil! Never ever think of your self as anything less than anyone els.. The only time people should look down on others is when.they are helping them get back up! You have made yourself a familly and yeah life comes.around and beats us down every so.offten and it does get hard especially when you are stuck in this world of mental torture! Emancipate yourself from mental slavery don't be a slave to your negative thoughts it's your mind you take control. People like us do.get taken.the puss out of and. Do.tou no why because we care we are helpers we take pleasure from giving.amd helping, and their are people out their who will just take because we let them the thought of not helping makes us feel guilty and it's hard to.let go . But when it impacts your life negatively causing amxiety and sometimes depression your have every right to be selfish as it was selflessness that got you their in the first place so say no... They won't suffer or be in any physical harm.. but you will so take a stand your a mum now so you have every reason to keep your head clear and stay happy! Sorry for this essay I just felt compelled to reply like this! I.hope you find peace within yourself and enjoy your life xxxx

1 like

Many times we must leave toxic peeps behind and live our one precious life. I was taught to be a submissive and wasted lots of my life before seeing. There are many types of abuse. Get professional counseling. Cut the chains!


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