Difficulty making changes with symptoms present.

[stwdiehl]

It's been awhile since I posted.

3 months ago I took a month off from life and work to slow down and recover a bit from PTSD stress. 2 months ago I got medical test results back stating I have adrenal insuffiency (stress related). A couple weeks after that I went back to work and was getting more social. I have tried to find my limit and kept challenging myself with good connections with people and activities.

In the last few days I have hit my limit and am feeling stressed from my activities (which are still good), job (limited hours), and my feeling flooded by sunlight through light sensitive eyes. I can see how much change takes place mentally inside myself as I experience life this week, compared to two weeks ago. I walk a tightrope and it is hard to keep my balance on this tightrope.

I'm thinking I might need to make some drastic changes in my life including moving to a different location that is rainier/cloudier and cooler, change jobs that has less stimulation, less running around the community, change homes to one without south facing skylights, and adopting a quieter less stimulating lifestyle. Few electronics, more physical movement, more mindfulness practice with eating, breathing, and moving. It's hard to let go of old habits when I want them soooo bad because they are familiar and easy to do. Changing to a different lifestyle that is more soothing and less exciting is hard. I want to watch movies, go to concerts, be excited, to sit in a big group, to shop in a busy grocery store, to play video games, walk in the sun, and get out in the evenings, etc.

Instead I am drawn to lots of quiet time, solitude, long nights in bed, and one on one visits with friends and small groups during the day.

I'd like to get the quick fix. Take a pill and my problem is solved.. but that is not what is happening here.

To continue pushing myself will leave me stressed and exhausted. To slow down again will feel isolating and restricted. I want to live.. but live wisely. I have thinking to do for my future.

[Hidden]

Hi stwdiehl,

Great to hear from you! Adrenal issues are sure a part of the equation, so it's good that you took that into account. It does feel like a balancing act on a tightrope to manage our energy levels, doesn't it?

Big adjustment moving toward a quieter lifestyle - it might be helpful to do it in small increments. I get overwhelmed with too much change at once.

I hear you about seeking quiet and solitude - I've been trending toward more of that myself.

Living wisely - what a great way to say it!

[stwdiehl in reply to Hidden]

Living more quietly might mean moving to a smaller community. I live in a small city now. A smaller community with a slower pace could be helpful for me. I just need to have people around I can connect with daily to get my emotional needs met.