So this morning, I had to cancel my rsvp for a party. Before, I was the life of the party, but now that I'm going through mourning, I'm not the same. This past week was difficult because I tried to go back to my old ways of living and ended up suffering for it. I have to accept that I am a different person. It's hard to live in a town where everyone knows you for one thing, but you are an entirely a different person. For me, I have to be authentic because being real aids in the healing process. I didn't want to explain why I wasn't going because they wouldn't get it anyway. I have to accept where I am right now, and it's okay.
What I have learned is that when in mourning you're in a lot of places. It's okay because your world has shifted. Amid all of the losses, I'm thankful that I can still function. Yet, I must stay on the road to recovery.