Alone

[MsUnderstood]

Im in the world of uneducated judgemental people. Im all alone. Im judged on the negatives of who I am. People who don't understand have ruined my life. I had no support, raised my 2 children alone. Tried twice as hard to be the best i could be. People have been cruel to me. I was told by several employers i didn't fit. I was an intervert. Not acceptable in my world. I worked very hard to get this under control. I didn't see anything wrong with who i was or is. Im overly sensitive. So im not accepted. Im a loner now because i dont belong an no one understands what it's like to be me. I pray for death and peace every day. But instead I have to live an suffer with pain.

[Red_Fox]

As pain awakens us t awakens us to the fact that society is all wrong and that the vast majority of people on our planet are lost and collectively "insane". I would like to suggest that you read the book "Quiet - The Power of Introverts" because it celebrates introversion. I too am a introvert. Society was created on the false idea that extrovert is best. It isn't. Are you "over sensitive"? What if you are highly sensitive? What if you are gifted? I hope you can learn to embrace who you are and to see that the world is in danger because of humans and that it can only be saved by the sensitivity of man.

[Equis-Canine Volunteer]

You are not alone here. You will not be judged. I'm glad you found our group. If you read past posts I sure you will feel a connection with many of us. I have found it to be a great relief to have a place where I can express my thoughts to others who understand. You are brave to open up and share your story. I care.

[Palomineo Pioneer]

I too have found I'm not accepted, the places where most would expect help, I found none... It seems that the abusers of this world are in control, and have been for quite awhile. If you figure out that they are abusers, they turn on you and While doing unspeakable things to you, convince others that you are the one that is in the wrong...

Even though you tell yourself not to try and hurt them... Do to others as you would have others do to you! It speaks of helping others... But They turn this backwards... They are psychopaths!

My subconscious told me that there was something wrong with those people, but my logic said you can't judge them on a feeling! I know now that I should have escaped as quickly as possible at that moment! Isn't Hindsight a wonderful thing?

You can survive... This is why we shut down, and continue to seek relief. It's been 25 years since the abuse started on me!

Oh... One thing i did was to get a Jack Russell puppy... They understand and try to help. Mine have! It has been a wonderful help for me, one that people don't offer!

Did you know that they recognize when people have evil intentions?

Also you shouldn't ever spank them! They can take it personally, and may end up with the same kind of reaction to abuse that we are experiencing! Positive reinforcement is the way to train them! One of mine was abused before I got him, and has been similarly effected! The other, I raised from a puppy and is a really good loyal, reliable friend!

T

[MissSherrie]

Hello there. I understand how you feel and am sorry for your suffering. Hang in there and don't give up. Another book you might read that helped me tremendously is The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron. Her book and Michele Rosenthal's changed my life and helped me understand who I am and why and that I am not flawed or defective. I hope you get better.

[WildernessScout]

Hello misunderstood

You are not alone Dear one. Even though it feels that way a lot of the times for me too. You are not unique or special in that you have been hurt, betrayed, endured many losses and injustices and people say all types of mean things to you saying that you don't fit in to their inner circles. Guess what. Many of the most enlightened spiritual masters the world has ever seen, the world told them the same thing. Your a hermitic. You are this or that. But in their high resolve. They continued to keep the faith and yes they got discouraged and felt depressed and all the negatives we " all are going through". But the good thing or the good side of all this is look at how far you have come ? Look at all the past obstacles you has surmounted and grew stronger as a result? We are no longer the people we started out as. I hated the man I was or the man I had become. Now the adult that we are becomming is the adult we are intended to become. Healing...hope...help is available to all.we have the understnding and encourgaement of each other in this supportive nurturing spiritual support group with people who do undertand you and they understand me and can help us we we reach out for that understanding and support as you are asking for mine today. Again. You are not alone friend. And we can do this together. Just one day at a time. One problem at a time. Keep the faith. You are loved and accepted here.

[rnbghr3]

Oh my goodness. I just joined this group. My husband committed suicide 11 July. You are asking for death? Trust me you will hurt more people (your children) than you realize. Their worlds would be turned upside down. You need to reach inside for your inner strength and then reach out to people in a positive way, even if it's just online. Nobody should be alone. I feel your pain. You can make friends, you just have to put a little effort into it and try to be positive.

I got on here for advice and I'm already giving advise. What's up with that?

[MsUnderstood]

Thank you for your advice. I've heard what both of you said to me for many years. It takes a person who knows what it's truly like to be like me. And to know me and to know my life situation. I've been in and out of therapy. And hospitals. i do fine for a while then I have another loss of someone I love. This happens to me over many times. The experience I've had with people hasn't been all that well. You might want to stop here an not continue to read this horror story I've written. I was in an abusive relationship for 6 years off and on about 19 yrs ago. For the of many times I left him once again for abuse. An attack on me. This time was for ever! His behavior had been changing into rage. He had told me he wanted to kill his best friend. I was very frightened but just blew it off as the alcohol talking. One night we were coming back from a car race. He was yelling at me and smashed my head into the window. He opened the door and pushed me out in the middle of nowhere. !:00 AM. Luckily for me some one stoped and offered me aride home. When I got home it got worse. He hit me in the face. I ran and hid in a bedroom and locked the door. He busted the entire door and door casing down to come after me. He had hit me in the face. The next day I decide this was the last time I was doing this and felt like something horrible was going to happen. I moved out with my children my daughter was 10 yrs old. my son was 7 yrs old. Three weeks after I had moved to my moms house. This man went to my children's teachers homes and brutally murdered them in the early morning hours. They lived across the road from the house we were renting at the time. The man was shot several times. His wife was kidnapped brought to a location where here stabbed her over and over again. Then shot her in the arm and she laid there in the truck and bled to death. Their 9 yrs old son was asleep in his bedroom. He woke up to find his father lying in a pool of blood shot to death. This is just a piece of what I've had to deal with. You haven't any idea just what I've had to deal with since all of this. I'm not trying to be mean but you're just like the people I talked about. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS and has caused me a lot of pain because of the not having a clue what it is to be me.. I have tried suicide twice. One by pouring gas over my head with a match in my hand. I stopped because the thought of my kids came into my mind. The second time was an over dose that went terribly wrong. I would never attempt this again. I'll live in pain for the rest of my life so everyone can have a good life and be happy. I've already suffered to much. It never stops it's always one more thing after another. I'm 53 yrs old now. I have my mom and my daughter in my life. Those would be the only people affected in my life. But I will do the best I can to be here for them. I want to be at peace. RIP

[MsUnderstood]

John smith i feel offended from what you wrote to me. Peoples circumstances are not all the same. What helped you wouldnt help me. Youre one of the people who im refering to in my post. I dont sit around and mope. Ive worked very hard on myself over sevdral years to be like the rest of the people who dont kniw what empathy is. Ive learned alot from my years of all the therapy ive received. I have mental illnesd and will nevef be a person who most society has no education about. The words just get over it isnt the answer. I inheraged major depressive disorder a company abide childhoid ptsd and audult ptsd. My mind isnt my own to control everyday. I certainly dont want ti be who i am. Shit happens. Its just the way it is. I didnt want to be birn into this bullshit. This isnt how i wanted my shitty life to be like. If i had cancer people would understand an have empathy. But im a wack im a wack job instead. I just camd here to write an see if anyone feels hiw i feel. Not to get told hiw to stop feeling sorry for myself and people dont want to listen to me complain. I got the same response from you that I've gotten from most people i already know.

.