bleeeeeeeeeerrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhg

hello. apologise in advance for this. woke up feeling like roadkill, forgot to take gaba and trams last night. filled with uncontrollable rage and tears, these hands are not wanting to type......this is the pits, got up let dog out, have to take her up the garden on a lead cos she chases cats, daughters dog but now she does not want dog back so i have to re home,,,,afraid i shouted at dog poor thing, not her fault, made prridge and tea, took some up to hub in bed, he does not have clients

till 2 so i suppose he wont get up till later, if i say i want a bath then he will say oh i wanted one first cos I have to go to work. got to iron daughters stuff for work, got to tidy up, got to go to bank and put a tenner through for other broke daughter, got to arrange for grandson to come over tomorrow, got to tidy up, got a pile of ironing staring at me, taking three lots of antibiotics for gut bug, look like a freal, feel like a freak

want hub to clean drain out, been asking for last three weekends, also lock on bathroom door needs oiling it is ripping my sking on my hands to bits it is sharp, my hip is killing me, i just want to crawl under the table and so no one can see me, let them get on with it, think maybe i should go back to counsellor, strange that, my husband is a counselellr but he not allowed to counsel me, tells me about his method and that, this discovery or that, this training or another

i cant function today. feel lke a freak cant have sex, have not washed for days, have not been out of house for day BUT i hear you say, you blogged a good one the other day, you are always positive, NOT ALWAYS usually hide it away under a mountain of codiene and bravado

jiggling legs, slack jaw, fuzzy brain, this is one of the worst mornings for ages.........sorry for th rant

5 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Hot bath, large cuppa, good book, back to bed!

    You might feel better by 3pm-ish! Other stuff will have to wait - I only iron something when I actually want to wear it.

    Yours, Sluttish of Southampton :)

    Moffy x

  • Ok, well, bath imminent, after daughter has gotten ready for work. Hub gone out now to town and I asked him to get me one of theose pill boxes where you put the doses in for every day so I dont forget again. Have spoken to broke daughter and her house partner has lent her the tenner. Not sorted about grandson but am just about to text his dad.

    Broke daughter is his mum but she lives up in milton keynes, they split up and she took g son with her then he came down to kent to live with his dad, this means he is near me though. whichis good. she is on bens and always in a state of drama about something or other.

    When they were together they were both drug addicts and g son was on child prtection, proud as they both got off drugs and child prt dropped but unfortunealty led to break up. g son has cf and is a littel autistic and at 12 goes to special school integrated with main stream. he is doing great.

    At one point in my life i had all that going on and a repossesion order on my last house and had to sell and move to rent.

    Lot has gone on in my life in last ten to fifteen years which contributed to clinical depression and then fibro happened. Most days I have coping strategies but when low all the stuff comes flooding in and I just need to give myself time in the day to let it filter away and get back to normal.

    Am real good at advising others but when it comes to self, well!!!!!!!!!!

    Once hub and daughter have gone to work I will put on some music and have that bath.

  • Oh dear, I hope you manage to get your bath and then tuck yourself up for the day and let all the rubbish go,. You have to look after you, then you may be in a position to help the rest of your family, but not until you feel better yourself. Best wishes Foggy

  • Hope your feeling a bit better today spidey gentle hugs Sithy

  • hope you managed a restful day today. all i can say is if I ware feeling like you were I couldn't have gone near computer/phone or whatever! With all that, the last thing on my mind is the internet.

    I know its nice to let off steam but sometimes i find that more stressful and just have to stay away, thats why i can't get on here every day. if I'm having a bad day i don't want to talk to anyone!

    I know what its like forgetting to take tablets though, and also taking too many. Sadly my memory isn't great and i can still take the wrong time's dose and have over done it, luckily without too much serious side effects, apart from having to just sleep it off.

    The other night i was sitting on the bed filling up my 'pill pots' as i call them, took pills out of packets for the week and put them on a tray on my lap, got half way through and i nodded off, slumped over the pills, you can imagine my OH's horror when he came in the room and saw me like it. he was shaking me to wake me up as he thought Id taken an overdose!

    Thats what happens when you are having bad day….so my advise to you, is just let the others sort themselves out and you think about yourself for a change…. and… forget about the lock on the bathroom door, you are safer not locking it. In the past due to having to use a raised loo seat coz of hip problems, the stupid things never fit so i slipped, and had done more than once. all i can say it was lucky i didn't lock the door otherwise id have been in there a while!

    take care xxx (((hugs))))

You may also like...