I wonder what else life can throw at me..

[Louise09]

Morning!

I hope you are all pain free and feeling good. (we can but hope)

Thought id share my Xmas with everyone as it makes me laugh to think of how much rubbish life divvies' up.

Background, my husband decided in his infinite wisdom to buy the Newsagents from his mum,she's owed it for 19 years and was knackered!! So we rally around and get a loan, putting our house as collateral - much to my disgust, i know what being self employed is all about and hate it. So.. I at the time was in a good job and could keep the family going.

His ex died leaving 3 children one of them is his, she comes to live with us she is 9. All is not good as she has problems with me and my children.

So off we go trying to be a good extended family. I had to have a hysterectomy in 2003, we married in 2004 and became an extended family at christmas 2006. Then after years of pain i am diagnosed with RA, great, i am started on hydroxychloraquine and feel worse, flare ups become nearly constant. Step daughter goes worse, start family counselling, doesn't work, bereavement counselling doesn't work, she starts self harming, suicide attempts, drinking,, having sex at 13!!! We have a pregnancy scare, she wants to keep the baby! False alarm, phew.. I decide to call in the experts again. Contact school, doctors etc etc. Husband can't cope, says its just how she is, i disagree, mine weren't like this....you can imagine the scenes! Eventually i snap, took me 4 years and various RA drugs but i leave work, my haven, to concentrate on family and self employment. Oh what a huge mistake. Along comes Fibro to smack me in the face, and anywhere else it fancies...

Finally, after shutting the shop side of the business in May this year and concentrating on the delivery side, we loose the majority of overheads. I am on pain killers, methotrexate injections, sleeping pills, anti depressants, hydroxychoraquine, pregabalin. Have to get up at 6am for the papers 5 days a week, hubby does 7 days and gets up at 4.45am!!!

So i have coped with marriage, 2 children now 20 & 18, divorce, meeting the man of my dreams who come with a daughter who was finally diagnosed with Aspersers - a form of Autism, a newspaper delivery service with 500+ customers. An elder nan, who thinks we should all bow down to her! A rescue dog who helps undress me when I'm bad, a cat who thinks I am his butler. A son 18 who thinks i am his PA, 3 gerbils, a bearded dragon, a hamster and a fish and a daughter who is my rock!

Moral of this epic journey - we can survive anything life throws at us as long as we have support!

Thanks for reading and i wish you all a fantastic New Year!

Louise

[irisjoy]

Morning Louise my you have had a fine old time of things but as you say you can get there in the end,

Shocking that your stepdaughter and you all went through so much to get a diagnosis , hopefully she is finally getting the help required ?

reading the end of your blog made me smile as sounds like a normal family which is what you always wanted , a united 1 pets and all

warm hugs and best wishes for 2013 xx

[irishjools]

Wow, what an inspiration u r, I thought I had it bad. X x

[Louise09]

Thanks you two. See support and a sense of humor are all we need.

xxx

[Saskia]

I have read your blog and feel like going back to bed!!!! It made my head spin!. My goodness you have been through the mill. But well done for surviving. I think that all of us with FMS are strong and survivors tho' it may not feel like it at times. Thanks for sharing all that you have been through.

Happy New Year! Love and hugs Sakia XX

[Louise09]

So sorry Sakia, i didn't mean to make you dizzy. Never a dull moment..... Wouldn't change the family situation just the illnesses.

As for my step daughter, once the experts recognised that there was a problem my daughter and i researched Aspersers and were able to adapt how and what we said to her. It took another 2 years for an assessment. Unfortunately she was over 16 and an 'adult' so no help for us. We were told that if she'd have lived with us from an early age i.e. 2 -5 yrs she would have been assessed earlier, unfortunately her family wouldn't listen to me and kept insisting it was just how she has always been! Now my daughter wants to teach special needs children and adults.

Happy New Year and gentle hugs.

Louise. Xxx

[Saskia]

Bless you, Louise!

I hadn't had my breakfast or my meds when I read your blog! BUT I did enjoy reading it. Once I'd had something to eat and got my meds down, I felt a bit better.

I was bowled over by all you'd been through and not just with your own family,

but with a step daughter too. Thank God you got a diagnosis in the end, but as you say too late to get any practical help/ Typical. Those in power certainly know how to get us by the "short and curly's" don't they?!

How wonderful that she wants to teach special needs children. She will make a wonderful teacher as she will be able to empathise with all the little ones in her care. SOooooooo....... a silver lining to what must have felt like a big black cloud at times. You'll be so proud of her when she qualifies.

Take care, Louise, and Happy New Year to you with, hopefully, better health and less pain. Love and hugs. Saskia XX

[fairycazzie]

Blimey yes you are right!!

i am self employed but not doing anything like you and i feel stressed hahah wow

yes with the support we can do it but the support have to get along too ?? if the support we have puts issues in the way this does nto help and this is what i am having .

Best thing is never to give up fighting but you can only fight so much before your worn to the ground.

my hubby had 3 to his ex and we too 2 on in early 2000 think it was done as a spoke on purpose to drive us apart but we got through it and the kids went back to their mother who my hubby never has contact, like i say in the beginning of our relationship in 1997 this is where the ex on his side would try anything!

We married 99, had a daughter 2000 and ups and downs all the way.

today we still have issues and pets and kids who think you run around after them, the pets give credit as no choice lol ..

i have gone through a few girls since i had my operation in 2010 as was meant to be temporary and i am here still the income that i was comfortable on is now on paying staff as i thought would get better so i havce not built my business as was happy before, thata is something you do when you are happy to do it.

i did not want to build a business on me being ill and trying to keep it going.

i was fed up of the surgeon who messed me up saying why dont you get staff!!! ..because i dont earn half what you do and i no idea if i fit enough to cope! he should be paying for the mess i am in as its nearly lost me my home come january 14th 2013 but we have managed to scrape and borrow to save our home.

so my plans next year is to keep focused and get the girls to leaflet and if need be let one of them learn the organising in case i have bad times in bed.

Ther has to be a lot of trust as any one of them could pinch the custom i have! 'cleaning business'.

So lets see and the hubby needs a kick up bum and so does my daughter or i will walk because i wont give up fighting and if i have to walk alone then so be it but it will only make me stronger despite me needing help. We take this illness as it comes and if i have to give up then so be it but not without me trying first . xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks for that i loved how you put it and my friend is on methotraxate tablets once a month but they give her herendous migraines! i mentioned my lyrica and said that she should maybe ask to see if helps as lyrica is for bad heads too in these types of conditions .

feel am riddled in OA as i been tested for RA a year back and was normal but i feel riddled all over and its killing me every day, the pregabalin takes the tingling edge off andthe severity of it then i take pain relief for the aches and pains, just something not right that is not being noticed yet again !!

xx rite offf again haahahh xxx caroline

[Louise09]

Oh Caroline its so good to know I'm not alone. I thought of walking too but i love him too much so re evaluated life and rowed and tanted until he saw my views and won!! Yay.

I have sero negative RA , the only normal thing about me is my blood!!

Take care Hun.

L xx