Having a rant sorry in advance !!!

I am so fed up with one member of my family....one of my sisters....she has always been jealous of me, and finds it great that I suffer from this life changing illness that we suffer with....I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and have suffered for some time now with this horrid illness, I am on pain medication that just doesn't seem to have an affect, the doc is trying me on something else....I am in cosiderable pain constantly and have really bad days when I cant manage to get out of bed, Yet my sister comes over her waltzes in and drops something off for her son...( who by the way doesn't like his mother much ) and then picks some other item up and clears off with her friend laughing at me trying to get back in the house after saying good by to them.......just for one day I would love her to have this......she thinks that because she has spoken to two different people with FMS that she knows everything about it.....I have tried to explain to her that everyone is different and that medication that works for someone may not work for everyone else....but she still thinks that i put this on.....

I am so sorry for this rant but I am so fed up with her treatment of me that I sit and cry because she is so nasty about it, her tone as she talks to me is like I am something she has scraped of her shoe.....my other sister, my daughter and my nephew are wonderful and help me no end...I know this should make up for the wicked sister but sometimes it just doesn't .

Thanks for reading this and sorry for the rant once again xxxxxxx

15 Replies

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  • We all need to rant at some time ,and where better than on here where everyone knows what you are going through. I have the same problem with my family,and even my daughter says "Mum my friend has FB and she is only 38 and has children to look after,at least you only have you !! " it is so hard for all of us no mater what age, and it is very hurtful when one of your siblings doesn't understand. My sister and Brother think I make it up for attention....wish they were right then I would be pain free lol :-)

    I do hope the rant helped you in some way as sometimes a good old rant can see us through!!

    Love and light and a Big ((((((((((((((((((((Gentle Hug))))))))))))))))))))) to you x x :-)

  • Thank you for that, I am sorry you daughter is like she is, it isn't fair and I am sure that if they had FB for even an hour they would be in a complete mess.....I feel the same as you that if it was just for attention, that we would at least be pain free....if only.....The rant did help or though I am a bit ashamed of myself as dont like to moan about things....just try to make the best of a bad job really ...

    Take care and Big gentle hugs back to you xxxxx

  • Don't be ashamed for saying how you feel !! all that will do is add to your stress and that =pain. We are on this forum to be able to have a moan when things are tough. and when they are not so tough to support others. You mentioning your sibling rivalry,helped me in some way because I have often wondered how a sister could be like that to me!! :-( and you see its not just me or you :-) so you pointing that out has already helped a few of us to see...that its not only us it happens to., so my lovely your "Rant " was not in vain lol :-)

    Gentle hugs ...chin up !! catch up with you soon x x x

    Rainbowdancer

  • Oh dear squib, I can see that you are so upset by your sisters behaviour. I think it is hard to understand just how disabling this condition can be until you unfortunately have to experience it yourself. I can't explain her hurtful attitude but perhaps she is jealous if she sees you as getting more attention from the family than she does. Sibling rivalry is common in many families and you might have to see it as her trying to cope with her own inadequacies and failing rather miserably. Have you tried confronting her and telling her how hurtful she is being? If that doesn't work, perhaps you should just tell her that she should not come to your house any more because you find it too upsetting and that has an impact on your health. I have some similar issues with my own sister so I really feel for you! Jane x

  • Hi, I know its difficult to see the pain we all suffer, but I also know that our entire lives she has been jealous, although she is the one who has always had more and fallen on her feet....my parents, ( when they were alive ) knew exactly what she was like, but they are no longer here unfortunately.....I would love to tell her to stay away, but this would cause her to blow her stack and start a family row AGAIN..and her son, would side with me and this would cause more stress, as you said, gives me more problems pain wise.....think it will resort to a deep breath and try and forget it ....the joys of families...xxxxx

    Sylvia xx

  • we bite our tongues to stop us saying the wrong thing so many times its a wonder we haven't bitten it off xx

  • Well, she sounds like a true delight, doesn't she? Unfortunately, there is often one member of any family who you'd swear was swapped at the hospital, because they're so unlike the rest of the family, and I'm afraid your sister seems to be 'the one'. Try to take at least some comfort from the support you get from the rest of the family, and remember that karma bites everyone on the bum in the end - she will get hers one day, and you can smile sweetly and enjoy it.

    Gentle hugs xx

  • Omg SootyB....you have just made me laugh soo much....you are totally right my dad swore she was the milkmans...lol much to my mothers disgust, but yes they too wondered where they went wrong, although I honestly dont think it was anything they did or didn't do ...I just think she is a mean, greedy and manipulative person, and that the way it will stay, thanks again for cheering me up...xxxxxx

    Gentle hugs to you too xxx

  • Hi Squid...It is horrible when people think that you are just trying to get attention or that this fibro is all in your head which i was told by a GP...You can understand how anyone with this fibro would of felt..I was in alot of pain & i just lost it there & then & my answer & the tone of voice made her listen to me as she was shocked that i had lost my temper by telling her that if this was all in my head then tell me were the magic switch was so i could turn it off because i would rather be able to take my son out who was 3 at the time to take him to the park & run around with him then to have been in so much pain & miss out on him but i have been lucky with my Hubby & other family members... My lil lad who's 7 years old has known no different to this fibro condition but the last few years i have gotta worse...When im having a flare up & unable to get out of bed he will come & check me & rub my back & then say is that better mummy & then he will ask if i need anything & if i say yes he will go downstairs & tell his daddy that i have asked him to ask daddy for a cuppa which i think is really sweet of him & he makes me smile when he gives me a hug & a kiss & says that will make you feel better :0)

    keep your chin up & just smile as sootyb is so right ;0)

  • Hi Squib, I do feel for you, I have two sisters like that! It took me over 20+ years to realise they're the ones with the problems not me! I felt guilty because I was the odd one out, it suddenly dawned on my that they were jealous of my relationship with our mum. Too silly to realise they could have that too, there was more than enough room for them.

    Now they've made it so bad that mum is a target as well as me - I must admit I don't care personally, but when they upset mum that is when I have to step in to protect her. She's an elderly widow and doesn't deserve their treatment.

    If your sister can't be bothered to find out about Fibro then she will never understand about our illness. Some people are impossible to convince anyway. She sounds far too selfish to bother about making the effort. Apologies if I am speaking out of turn.

    There is always one or two in every family, try not to get upset as it won't do you any good. These people will never change, life is too short to fret too much over them,. I believe in Karma too and what goes around comes around, I get great comfort from that. ;) Sooty is so right! :P

    Here's a hug for you Squib from me x (((hug)))

  • Oh Liberty you could have written that for me it is almost the same situation that I am in,to the point that Mum had to go into a home and she has been there for 18 months and they will not visit her incase I go at the same time....I have such Sad siblings!!! dont I But like you say best not to let it get us down :-) I think now it is their loss as they have missed some precious moments Mum and I have had and they could have had it too................People said they are jealous of you ....this made me laugh because they could have my Fibro etc anytime with love and thanks lol :-P

    (((((((((((((((((((((Hugs to you ))))))))))))))))))

  • Sisters! What a mixed bag they can be. I have 3 and only one of them is any use!! I am even raising my niece for one of them and she is always undermining all the hard work I do to make her life nice and normal.

    My sisters and brother have no idea what I am going through and dont really care as they are all wrapped up in themselves.

    Yours sounds like a real charmer!

    Ban her from your home and tell her if she wants to make an effort to understand or at least listen then you will see her. Dont waste precious energy on selfish people. Celebrate the love of those who matter to you.

    :) X

  • Untill I joined this forum I never realised how many of us have so much in common. It has helped me a great deal,but it is also very sad that some of us have family that just do not understand and at times don't even want to!! Well said all the comments on hereare helping so many of us.

    Healing Hugs to all in need of them x

    RD

  • Thank you everyone for your comments...it has instilled new life in me to have such support, I think I shall have gather some guts together and just tell her what I think and tell her to get lost.

    Thank you again everyone...you dont know what it means to me to have such lovely people to talk to.

    Many many gentle hugs ..... Sylvia xxxxxx

  • Sounds so like my sister but to make matters worse she actually works as a doctors receptionist. She goes on when my house is a mess and waltzes in and asks "Just what DO you do every day? She too looks down on me. Gets me so angry, I really feel for you.

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