Started off in a mood today!!!

[rainbowdancer]

Well don't know what happened the last few days I have been really down,everything seems to be getting too much for my OH. He is moaning and saying things like " OK I'll do it" but moodilly! needles to say it has got me down. I am usually a chererful person,but it is all getting too hard to cope with.

I went to Physio today after the fiasco last time I was dreading it,I am usually chirpy on the drive there about 30 miles but this morning I was just quiet and very withdrawn,and OH kept

saying are you OK you are very quiet. I told him I was just so fed up I can't do this any longer....I never seem to move on. I still cant walk without help , I fall backwards with no warning I cant get up from a chair on my own....Can't shower or wash myself...or dress myself....etc etc and I don't know where it will all end.

We got to the hospital after what seemed like forever,and I went off on my buggy to the hydro.With his help I managed to get changed,and they said " Oh the chair hoist is not working can you use the steps " "er NO I cant walk on my own and the steps are deep. Well they got the chair working in a fashion and it chugged me into the water! I was able to walk in the warm water and it lifted my spirits a bit 20 mins I was in the water for. then we had all the washing and drying,dressing etc and another hr drive ahead of us!!

Then this afternoon off to the Dr for blood results...all seem OK but my platelets are low but Dr not sure why....and have to have a small op and investigation that is non fibro linked.(well that makes a change ay ) My new meds collected and then home !! What an exiting life I live and my daughter says,just be grateful you have someone to do things for you and remember what you can do........Hello what things are they then?

Sorry to go on so but really am down today....hope tomorrow I am more able to smile

Sending out very Gentle Hugs today

Thankyou all for being there it really does help knowing we can speak so freely x x

[Ozzygirl64]

Days like this happen to all of us, those days where we think we have had all we can take, and yet here we are, still fighting on. You will have good days hun, admittedly they seldom last for long but they do come. Maybe your hubby is tired too, my hubby does plenty for me and from time to time he gets fed up with it all, but then he perks up again and nothing is a problem. I often think of the things I can still do, although very few. I tend to do the little things that need to be done, things I am comfortable doing, like putting a washload in, running a bowl of dish water, little things but I can do them. Finding the right button on the tv remote is an achievement for me now, but I can do it. I also like to do some of the bigger jobs myself too and although it takes an age to do withhaving a few minutes break here and there it makes me feel useful around the house. I struggle with walking some days are better than others but I keep walking, I refuse to give into wheels until I absolutely have to and I know that day will come, until then I won't think about it. We all have our own levels that we feel we can or cannot reach. I know my limits but now and again I will surpass those limits and pay the price a few days later. Do not give up hun, there will be times when you excel and times when you feel enough is enough. Sending you comforting hugs always xxxxx

[Hidden]

I think many of us have been in this situation, even our loved ones have enough some times. However well they deal with it, they get tired and fed up too. They also worry so much about us, I know my hubby worries constantly about me.

We all have off days Rainbow, don't be too hard on yourself. We all understand and please know that we are all here for you. Feel free to off load because you're amongst friends here who know exactly how you feel.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you! Take care. Here's a hug for you! (((hug))) xxx

[Ginsing]

Morning I hope you rested well last night well as can be expected. Today is another day it will be the same but different. Take it easy on your self wont you I think (yes I do) that are expectations of ourselves is really quite high. We are just people who are learning how to overcome Mr Fibro and you are doing brilliantly - some days we all get down and wonder what on earth we are doing but if nothing else we are providing love and succour to our families. They know we cannot do all the things other people can and they make allowances for us in the nicest ways. So try and have a happy day smile at some nonsence on the telly what ever have a gentle healing hug from me ((((((())))))) take care xgins

[rainbowdancer]

Thanks everyone ,I am a bit down I know. I have had a year or so of doing little things and then being in bed or just resting ....but now I have gone from Shopping,meals out and spa visits and living a "normal " life to not being able to do anything,I don't really get any better than just coping, and as my legs have given up I need support of some kind all of the time. I am not to be left alone,etc etc and its that part that gets me down! Am I to be like this for the rest of my life?

My mother is 85 and she is doing more than I can do,having battled her way back from nearly dying 2 years ago. What does not help is people say " Oh you have longevity in your family you could live well into your 90's " OMG I couldn't live to 90 feeling and being like this.! "

It is just so frustrating like I have had my life stollen from me ..............Its the other things that I have on top of fibro that I can't seem to cope with. At least when I had only CFS and Fibro for 15 years I was living with it now I just feel It rules me!

On top of all this I have my Mother who needs me to be there for her tho she is in a home now. My Other half has Arthritis all over and he sufferes with PTSD through his army life and 2 years ago I was looking after both of them,Dr says the stress etc has just worn me out,we are going to try to get a carer in to take the pressure off my husband,or he could crash with the stress of it all...........

Sorry guys but still can't see the wood for the tree's.

Hugs to you all and thanks for reading this ....again!

Rainbow x

[Hidden]

It's always tougher at this time of year when it's colder and with the festivities etc. I do feel for you Rainbow. You have the added worry with your mother, you poor thing. I have a similar situation worrying about my dear Mum. It's so frustrating isn't it when we are poorly and can't do as much as we would ordinarily want.

Your frustrations are understandable and normal, I am sure we can all relate to how you feel. You are worried about your partner too. My goodness.

Try to look after yourself too, keep warm, take your meds and try not to worry too much. I know it's easier said than done. We are here for you, we do understand and if there is anything at all we can do, please let us know, we are always only too happy to help.

Here's a hug for you today Rainbow. (((hug))) xxx

[Shads]

Hey Rainbow

I'm sorry that your having such a difficult time and that your OH is suffering too. I just wondered if you have a Carers Centre near you? Your OH could receive all kinds of support from them, and equally so could you as it sounds as though you're co-caring as you are no doubt supporting his PTSD and emotionally supporting your mum. They can help with getting Carer's Assessments completed as well as providing emotional support too. Just a thought if you haven't explored that option yet?

Gentle hugs to you

Shads xx

[Hidden in reply to Shads]

Great idea Shads, thank you! xx

[rainbowdancer in reply to Shads]

Thanks Shads, when we got home today from a visit to see mum there was a message from the council OT they are looking into carer help for me. Loads of questions and they are also sending in a mobile Physio. They said Mac should not be doing all he is doing! That I need to get more mobile! and they are having a falls asessment done. So lots going on at the moment.

Social services also called and they are coming tomorrow!

Thank you all so much for your imput it has really helped me, I don't usually get down but this time its all got too much.

Hugs back to you all

Rainbow x