Fibromyalgia Action UK
39,228 members51,398 posts

I feel so helpless!

I am laying here, feet on fire, head about to explode, so much pain everywhere. I feel like crying, but what would be the point? I've had such a difficult week DLA renewal form, ESA payments stopped, medication mix up, worrying blood test result & a terrible flare up. To be truthful the flare ups are so frequent now that theres hardly any respite! I have to wait till Tuesday before I can see a GP although I don't expect that there is much she can offer. It was actually a trip to the hospital that has made my pain so bad!

I know that I sound sorry for myself, but to be honest, I do!

I live alone now, which although means life is much easier, it also means that there is no-one to help, or even just make a cuppa. No - one to give me a hug, although I suppose that it would hurt like hell if someone did!

Moan, moan, moan, ow, ouch, ooooowwww!

That's it, moan over.

Tomorrow WILL be a better day (i hope)

21 Replies

Sending you a virtual gentle hug ((((( )])))) cobweb .

Hilly xx


hi cobweb,same as you feet on fire DLA renewal form came today...but for me iam not all the same as you i have my family around wife and must be so hard for you any friends around just someone to talk to may help i feel so sorry for you

big hugs

bob xx


Got some friends but I don't like to bother them. Life alone is ok until something goes wrong, then it would be good to be able to share problems. I'm a stubborn ***** & won't burden my family. They all live miles away so I rarely see them. My husband was my carer until we seperated, so it was easier to get DLA, now I worry in case they presume I must be ok 'cos I manage on my own. I'm not, but got no option. I'm not ready to give up, so I've got to just get on with it! Thanks for caring x


Hi I was told that even if you are on your own and manage that the senario is that you need a carer and that is why they pay you carers allowance. Keep your chin up it will be OK

Sending You a Virtual ((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))) very fluffy one so not to hurt you x x x

Love and Light

Rainbowdancer x x x


thankyou. Going to force myself to get up & make a chamomile tea, then it's off to oblivian land (I hope) Then I can wake up bright, cheerful & painfree !!! Yeah right!


((((( big, gentle hugs to you Cobweb ))))

Moan as much as you like - it helps to get it out of your system xxx


you might regret saying that, but you are safe now, I'm off to bed. Thanks though x


Morning Cobweb , what a tough time you are having hope you managed some rest last night and that you have woken up feeling a little better.

You say you wont burden your familly and that is commendable but there are times family appreciate being included so they can help if only by listening. still this site is a familly all of its own and one of the excellent things about it is that you can let of steam to guys who understand what your going through..............Still it is Sunday today and there is a chance it might not rain it has got to be good gentle hugs (( )) xgins


hi hun im with you on my own as well cansee where your coming from


Don't worry about feeling sorry for yourself, we've every right with what we go through. But dont be alone. Phone the council saying you need help. See my postabout getting a carer. The social services will also helpyou appeal against the dla decision. Once you get this done, you'll start to feel a little better. What meds are you on? Iwas like you 2 yrs ago.been on gabapentin, Paracetamol, Citalopram & morphine ever since and its kept the pain at a reasonable level. There is light ahead. Reiki also helps A LOT. Thinking of you and others like you xx


Ps. I've been on my own just ova 2 yrs now. My ex was useless when we were together and family/ friends still don't know how to respond or help when I have a flare up, even after 5 yrs of fibromyalgia. Thank goodness for my 17 yr old daughter who lives with me and has been my primary carer til Igot a council one.


Awwww cobweb hope things start to improve for you soon xx I dont think it really matters if you live alone or surrounded by family as I honestly believe only those who live with fibro really trully understand the devastating impact it has on every aspect of your life. I have 4 adult children aged 18-26 yrs living at home with me but might as well at times be living alone because I dont want to hold them back from living their own lives by burdening them wiv my aches pains and woes :-) sometimes they try hard to be patient caring and understanding but how can I expect them to understand an illness which is hidden follows no clear pattern and which has effectively robbed them of their fun loving mum and replaced her wiv a moaning auld woman who is old b4 her time. Awwww well cobweb at least we no longer have to put up with exes who only made things 1000 times worse lol theres positives in everything then :-) lol xx



(((((((((((((((((very gentle hugs)))))))))))))))))))) coming your way cobweb and do hope you are feeling brighter this morning and that the blue sky and sun are shining down on you.

You moan away as much as you like cos anything that helps is absolutely allowed.

Some great posts here for you and so hope they help to brighten your day.

Take good care.

E :) x


Big gentle hug from me to you :))))


Live on my own as well with fibro and other conditions and I know how lonely etc it can be when you are in a bad flare up. Moan as much as you like we all know what you are going through.

Hugs :)


Oh cobweb I empathise totally. I live alone too, and most times it's OK, like you say, until you really need someone or something. I am fiercely independent, most of the time, and I hate to bother people for anything. It is lonely and isolating when the only other 'person' you speak to in the day is your cat!!!! So I come on this site, have a good read and usually feel a lot better. It shows I'm not on my own really, and that there are others in the same position, sometimes worse, than me. It's a pity we don't all live near each other, we'd have a blast!!!!


I have family but they find it hard 2 understand..I'm in agony leg pain neck pain terrible jaw pain still working but most days don't know how I go on been ill all week...nap tired....don't no how much longer I can cope.


thanks to all of you for your support, theres lots of individual things to say to different people , but I'm really to s**** to concentrate on anything.

One answer that I would like to say came from kazani, she suggested Reiki, I totally agree. Reiki is the only thing that helps my pain, so much so that I trained up to a Reiki Master. It is a wonderful treatment. Trouble is that I feel to rubbish to help myself at the moment, but I will use it as soon as I feel a bit more cheerful.

I would like to speak to individuals but please be patient.

Return hugs to you all xxx


Hi cobweb I hope you had a better day today biiiiiiiiiiig fluffy gentle hugs for you . Sithy


I am sending you a huge hug and love.... ditto being on own but with children... it can be exceptionally difficult.. but you can do it...Keep up with the Reiki... ;-) Take care x


I feel for you being on your own although sometimes as a mother of 5 i quite envy you.

I am in an awful position at the moment DLA and ESA refused and am now living on jobseekers allowance and having to prove i am actively looking for work!! I have an interview tomorrow which if i am successful at i will need to have a medical assessment!!!! I am so fed up of applying for jobs knowing the likelihood of me keeping past the 3 month trial are slim. This one i may not even get past the assessment, but i have to still keep looking. I am so fed up!! Just going to the job centre and keeping up with the back to work and cv writing etc etc are leaving me absolutely exhausted but if i dont do it we dont eat. Dad did a runner when things got hard and have to rely on teenagers for help. Not easy!

Not trying to outdo you on the woe is me stakes but sometimes i find it helps to think positively and remember however bad we feel there are always others going through the same if not worse.


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