Really suffering at the mo

[Teddysmum43]

Sorry guys this isn't going to be a positive post. I am feeling so so rubbish and the worse part by far is the anxiety. Anything seems to set it off. I have tried so hard over the years to try and find coping strategies for it. I've been like It all my life,it is part of me and I think one day it may destroy me as I won't be able to cope anymore. I don't even know how I'm coping now but somehow I keep going but my world is getting smaller and smaller as I try and stay away from things that make it worse. I'm in weekly counselling,I've seen my doctor who has upped my anti depressant,I go the gym( but I have to wear headphones as I can't cope with the noise of the other people)I walk my dogs(slowly and in pain with a walking stick). The joy has gone out of my life. Oh and I've lost weight 3.5 stone. So I've done the change of lifestyle thing. I read self help books but they make me a lot worse. I'm also doing a counselling course and things have got a lot worse since I started. I was hoping that it will eventually help me deal with my problems and then be able to go on and help others,but I think I'm kidding myself although when I'm doing the practise skills I do cope very well at the time but then the things that have been said hit me afterwards during the week.

I'm also trying to cope with one of my dogs who has dementia,it is very very hard indeed,she doesn't realise she has been fed and whines pretty much continuously during the day,she is in a constant state of anxiety which is rubbing off on me. I've seen the vet and we are trying a food supplement to see if that works(has had good results for others). I feel so sad for her but at the same time it's definitely affecting me. I'm thinking of seeing a holistic vet but again it's the money really.

Anyway I basically don't know what to do next. I feel very embarrassed that. I can't sort myself out or get a grip on the anxiety and I'm quite frightened really.

[irisjoy]

hi Teddysmum so sorry to feel you are really struggling. Our pets are like family so we are greatly affected when they are ill and dementia is a n evil illness. it seems to me that you are doing everything you can to cope with your life and cannot suggest anything apart from a listening ear and warm hugs, This forum is for us all to explain how are lives are going so theres no need to apologise, i am sending you positive thoughts and hope you feel better asap x

[SuzyB]

Hugs I can certainly understand where you're coming from. Sometimes I wonder how I manage to keep going. I think all of us with fibro have a tremendous inner strength because we have to have.

Hope things improve for you soon. Well done on the course sometimes learning a new skill is just what we need. I'm studying reflexology.

[Teddysmum43]

Thanks guys,I'm worried the course is making me worse as I've definitely gone downhill since starting it. I have spoken to my tutor though and I'm trying to take one Saturday at a time. The way I feel today is that I don't want to go back as its so so hard. I've had so much trauma in my life it's just bringing it all up. I just wanted to get a new career as I love helping people but I'm paying a heavy price for it at the moment.

[WutheringSera]

Hi Teddysmum,

You know I reaaly know how your feeling I have been through all of this as have many of us. Maybe you should take a break from your course,is this a possibilty. I wll try sending healing to you and your dog (whats its name?) tonight.

[Teddysmum43]

thankyou wuthering sea her name is skippy. yes i can take a break but would have to put it off until next year.

[fairycazzie]

Hi Teddysmum,

I actually think you are doing so well despite feeling as you do as you are not wallowing indoors and really feeling sorry for yourself, you are getting out and pushing things.

I go out because of work and thats it and odd shopping i really have become a 'hermit'

The Gym like you i was going and the Treadmill and could not understand why my legs would not work shaking quite bad and be heavy and numb and tingly, had to sit. i did the same thing with headphones too funnily enough, i could not listen to other things, but at this time i had no idea what i was getting like and what i had either , just let things go over my head, i would use rowing machine and would feel worse every time i went to the gym instead of having that 'buzz' it was wearing me down, my legs would drop i could not do half the things they ask me in excercises with balls etc,

loved Sit ups had to stop am now a reet flumpa lumpa i have put on weight (medication)

i have not walked my dog for 2yrs now a big german shepherd (fat furburger too she is)

she no good on lead at all. but brilliant off it.

So sorry your doggy has got dementia that is not nice and you are there for her bless (its always the women) hmm my gran had dementia and out lasted everyone as much as she had no idea of anything, so with doggys food have you been told prob do little and often but kinda same amount as always?

we are all here for a chat when ever you like and if on fb i go on quite a bit pop on/off and there is a chat box instant chat where eas on here you are waiting for replies and never know when you get a response as much as everyone is fantastic and we all differernt time zones ..i am UK time so usually get on here in evening for al ittle while xxxxxx

please feel free to have a shoulder whenever depression is quite annoying (had it very bad 15 yrs ago) i just hope i do not get there again but i am getting tear ful a lot alately as suffering had a bad flare with my legs and ear infection and still got but on/off with severity but constant .

x

[Teddysmum43]

Fairy cazzie thank you for your kind words. I'm feeling better today,that's how it goes isn't it? It's just a relief not to have the anxiety ican cope with everything else.Today I feel differently about the course so glad I didn't give in yesterday. What's ur fb addy? You can pm it if you like

[Hidden in reply to Teddysmum43]

Please private message any personal contact info in the interest of your Online Personal Safety and also that of others too. Thanks folks.

[Hidden]

As tough as things are Teddysmum it sounds like you are managing things as well as you can. Having your counselling course will be helping you to off load all the problems, I hope you are getting some benefit from this. Also being here in our community sharing your troubles and views is quite cathartic, we all understand here as most of us have been through similar situations and feelings etc.

I hope you manage to have a better day today, we are all here for you. (((hug))) xxx

[Ozzygirl64]

I see you are having a better day toady so that is a good thing. There are no bad days, just good days gone a bit wrong xxxxx