Sorry guys this isn't going to be a positive post. I am feeling so so rubbish and the worse part by far is the anxiety. Anything seems to set it off. I have tried so hard over the years to try and find coping strategies for it. I've been like It all my life,it is part of me and I think one day it may destroy me as I won't be able to cope anymore. I don't even know how I'm coping now but somehow I keep going but my world is getting smaller and smaller as I try and stay away from things that make it worse. I'm in weekly counselling,I've seen my doctor who has upped my anti depressant,I go the gym( but I have to wear headphones as I can't cope with the noise of the other people)I walk my dogs(slowly and in pain with a walking stick). The joy has gone out of my life. Oh and I've lost weight 3.5 stone. So I've done the change of lifestyle thing. I read self help books but they make me a lot worse. I'm also doing a counselling course and things have got a lot worse since I started. I was hoping that it will eventually help me deal with my problems and then be able to go on and help others,but I think I'm kidding myself although when I'm doing the practise skills I do cope very well at the time but then the things that have been said hit me afterwards during the week.
I'm also trying to cope with one of my dogs who has dementia,it is very very hard indeed,she doesn't realise she has been fed and whines pretty much continuously during the day,she is in a constant state of anxiety which is rubbing off on me. I've seen the vet and we are trying a food supplement to see if that works(has had good results for others). I feel so sad for her but at the same time it's definitely affecting me. I'm thinking of seeing a holistic vet but again it's the money really.
Anyway I basically don't know what to do next. I feel very embarrassed that. I can't sort myself out or get a grip on the anxiety and I'm quite frightened really.