I know everyone is different and when I read the blogs on how you go out, hold down jobs, look after families but pay the price I wonder am I the only one who CANT do these things?
I can't work any more - I ran my own business which is now run by someone else
I have to have 3 care calls a day from 2 PAs
I cant get myself washed and dressed some days, have to have help in the shower etc
I cant get to the supermarket, or if I do I have to use the buggys. That will be me finished for the day if I dare to venture something as bold as that
My PAs have to do the housework, if I pushed the hoover round it would send me to bed.
I have to take 20 painkillers a day to try and control my pain (which it is still failing to do)
I am hospitalised every 2-3 months for a week with a diverticular flare so severe is requires IV morphine to a level it puts my BP dangerously low.
I am housebound most of the time
I have lost family and friends so am now on my own
I cant keep a relationship going because of these illnesses.
I know this sounds like a moan, but it isnt. This is my reality and I am fully accepting of the fact none of it is curable, just masked with increasing pain meds. I am in fact not bothered by it. Being stressed about it doesnt help just makes it worse. My Affairs are now in order (Will, provision for my pets etc) so I dont leave anyone any hassle trying to sort my stuff out after I am gone.
However, I just wondered if I am in a minority being like this, or if this is a common reality. I read people with parts of this, but not all. Guess I just wondered if I am just a freak, thats all. Comments please