I am an addict and alcoholic in recovery for 10yrs and have worked very hard on myself so know what to do to get rid of fear and grow spirituality, its the only way i can handle life on lifes terms....thats why i drank and drugged cos i was just so scared of everything and everyone.......now my 19yr old son has gone into the illness of addiction and he has ended up in prison, which inturn has triggered off my depression, which inturn triggers off my guilt and pain from the fibro seems to get worse when im feeling like this.......so i cant then work on myself because of the depression. 3 weeks ago my son tried to take his own life and then he met up with his old drugging friends and got caught up in doing something that ended him in jail, i dont even know what he did.
for the past two yrs my partner and i have been enableing him with his addiction and now i have to cut off, i cant go visit him and i cant be a part of his lifes choises as it is actually making my symptoms worse and i i keep anabeling him he will not get to his rock bottom...................its making me so sick,its making me so frightened of everything, i am 45 next week and im scared of everyone dying around me. My partner had a seisure the other week because he believed our son had taken our 4yr old with him in his overdose and so its making us both so very sick spiritually, mentally and physically, and i think everyone is gonna die and mysel will leave my other children without a mom and dad and i just cant stop the thinking about it.
thank you for letting me share this because its all in my head and i know if i write it down it helps. . thank you!!!!
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gerry1
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Oh Gerry what a time you are having I really do feel for you, I think you were really brave to share this as with us it must have been hard but on the other hand I agree it does feel good to get it off your chest, think Christine has given you good advice, in the meantime hang in there take lots of rest and keep in touch I send you and your family my heartfelt hugs you take care,
Love Ruby xx
Hi Gerry, big gentle hugs for you. I think what you're going through is just too much for one person to handle, so it's not surprising you're feeling depressed. I can only suggest what everyone else has said, try and see your GP . It sounds like you really need someone to talk to so you can get some of those feelings out.
a problem shared is a problem halved. This group gives us support when we are down so whenever you feel a need to talk to someone,just go for it ! Remember to do little things to help you feel better.I just had a lovely hot bath and feel better for it.Take care and see if you can get help from your doctor.
Gerry thanks for sharing your heart and life with us. You sure have alot to bear and its good we can all be here for one another. Know this that we are all with you in your journey and your not alone. Life can be a bit like a roller coaster ride at times but when u feel the path is hard to walk take our hands for we will walk with you .. I know Im new hear but I sense alot of luv between one another and thats awesome.For we all need love and reassurance sometimes. Gentle tender hugs to you at this time. Please look after yourself your an amazing person and awesome what you have done coming to a place with saying no to addictions. I sure will pray that your son too comes to this place in his life. Maybe some good people will come alongside him too and show him a way out from addictions Keep strong my friend. Never bottle things up share them with people who care. I care and will always listen if you need an ear xxx
Gerry i agree with all abuve . but you must see to you first as if you not well then you can't be any good to anyone else . so take a bit of time to be selfish and get your head together and your body in choune and then you can help others soft hugs and best wishes to yu and yours , and may your spirit fly to the place that is safe to you and yours xoxoxoxoxoxo
bless you so glad that you have let all that out you really are finding it hard at the min and you really are the lowest you could be right now which means one thing you can only start going up now , please dont beat yourself up about what choices your son has made he is 19 now an adult he knows right from wrong , yes they are our kids but you have to let go at some point and the choices they make aftr that is down to them . you are probably best keeping away from your son at the min
yes it is going to kill you inside but it will be better for him too let him realise how low he has got and he needs time to reflect and get himself de toxed and i think its best he does that where he is and no outside influences and that is you too,
things will get better as they cant get any worse bless you and you have got to take a day at a time you really have you have been through alot by what you say but you have urned your life around and become abetter person so now you need to work on controlling your fibro we all do so you dont beat yourself up about anything you have done enormously well and you should be so proud of yourself
you hold your head up high and let today be the sart of your new life
Sweetheart, you really are going through it at the moment. Firstly I want to send you a huge hug - you aren't alone on here. I am glad you are able to share with us what you're going through, like you said, it helps to get it out.
I have been where you are now. My late husband was alcoholic and I went through hell for years with what happened, so I know exactly what you're going through. And also being in recovery yourself, you can see both sides. I understand the enablement, thats one thing I found out in group, but you have to put yourself first now. He will go the way he wants to and will only find a way up when he hits the bottom. He is 19 and he is making his own life - he is an adult, though he is still your child I know x
You really do have to put yourself first now - I don't want you ending up like I did - on strong meds for anxiety and nearly ending up in hospital with the stress. You can't control what he does, but you can control what you do. Like others have said, I would go back to your doctor and see if she/he can refer you to someone who can listen and understand more. You can also find a lot of help on the internet - I belong to a couple of facebook sites which I find helpful, and speak to others online about how I'm feeling and try to help them.
If you want to inbox me privately, please do, and I will try to help as much as I can, I am here for you xx
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How am I meant to cope?
So distressed & feeling a failure
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