doctor is bang out of order im so upset

i cant believe what my doctor said yesterday to me ive been very low very depressed an it took alot to ask for help with all the abuse ive took over the years parents/partners ive never felt this low its out of my control told him my situation my ex living with me as lodger an cant afford to kick him out till next year i receive £280.00 a month an ave to pay £ 188.00 on council tax an electric because DWAP dropped my money while appealing an he said ave you told the social you have a lodger because they wont think to kindly if your getting money off a lodger an not telling them " i sid i own my own house an im on incapacity it doesn't t matter is this this me???? or was he bang out of order ive been worse since i went to see him cant stop crying

18 Replies

  • I'm so sorry. Doctors can be so insensitive. Mine has p****d me off too (wrote a blog about it before). It's like they don't even want to say the right thing/help/care... Hugs x.

    EDITED BY ADMIN - A swear word has been asterisked. Swear words can cause offence and are not permitted in accordance with our Guidelines.

  • thanks love i think they are like this government dead inside they should be caring an understanding who you turn to when you need help but no its not like that anymore maybe it is the government putting pressure on them to sign us all off take it off the weak an they are not like the old family doctors like years ago they knew you an understood you could proper talk to them miss them all im 55 prob sound old dont i?. i really dont know why he would bring the social in it at all nothing to do with my health hugs xx

  • Never had a good doctor. Wonder what that's like...

  • Doctors! I know exactly how you feel....I was sent to see Consultant Nuorologist as I've had ME and Fibromyalgia for over 10 years now and have got so bad that gp given me low dose MST to take. The Neurologist had me in tears as he said that he thought it was just I was depressed and should come off ALL the medication I take and go to yoga or swimming three times a week! My non-supportive/believing husband sat there with a grin on his face as if he wanted to say he was right.....the pain I experience daily and this was the answer. I have been so ill that I haven't been able to get a thing ready for Christmas and I have lost so much confidence in the doctors. To top it off I now have a husband saying, the doctor said its all in your head!!!!

  • OMG! That's disgusting. My ex bf used to tell me all I needed was exercise (wonder why he's my ex...). The neuro - seriously?!! I would have thought his job was to advise on allopathic medicine i.e. drugs (they usually act like drug pushers then make you feel bad for asking for drugs...). Yoga? Don't make me laugh! I tried that once - got terribly depressed as couldn't do any of the moves (so stiff). And swimming 3 times a week!! That is ridiculous. Last time I tried swimming (many years ago with aforementioned ex...) I thought I would die in the pool I felt so ill.

  • Your GP certainly didn't seem to handle your situation sympathetically. I think he was trying to tell you that you are sailing a bit close to the wind regarding claiming benefits and having a lodger because this could be seen as additional income and could affect your benefit payments. If you are accepting rent from anyone this will reduce your benefit payments accordingly.

    You might have to pay the overpayment back, that's usually how the system works or they could stop your benefit, so please be careful. It's a very tricky situation as you can't be seen to have additional money coming in without it affecting what you are paid in benefits. It might be prudent to tell the benefit agency about you having a tenant because if they find out it could be more detrimental to you in these days of benefit fraud. Sorry if this sounds harsh, it's purely to protect you.

    If you are at all unsure about anything I have said, please pop along and chat to the local CAB (Citizen's Advice Bureau), they more than likely will say the same about your tenant and benefit.

    Unfortunately on this occasion, although the situation wasn't handled tactfully, your GP was actually right in what he told you.

    This is advice from the Benefits Agency about taking in a lodger - "Inform your local benefits agency if you receive any benefits. It's almost certain any benefits will be affected by your taking in a lodger so find out in advance what the result will be."

    I do feel for you going through this tough situation right now, I hope things improve for you soon. I always believe in being upfront about things, so please be careful about all of this because in the long run it could add to your stress if you aren't permitted a tenant with extra income etc.

    (((hug))) xxx


  • oh you got me worried now i thought it would be ok as i one my own house an only receive incapacity no other benefits an he paying a lot less than when he was my partner do you really think im in trouble xx

  • incapacity benifit is not means tested so you should be ok, but i would check ot out just to be sure x

  • To be honest with you I am not sure, I would approach the CAB first and as I said before, I am pretty sure they would tell you that it could affect your benefits. Then speak to the Benefits Agency or DWP about this and they will advise you on this.

    I know with certain benefits like Income Support, Housing Benefit etc., there are stringent rules about lodgers. However with Incapacity Benefit, as this is contribution based the criteria might be different, it's always best to be upfront and to check about this with the Benefits Agency or DWP. xx

  • will do thank you xx

  • No hun, Libs is right. If anyone gives you money it is seen as an income and can affect all your benefits including housing and coucil tax. You could find yourself in deep water and we only tell you this because we care about you as aperson, a friend and a fellow sufferer. It could even be classed as living together rather than a lodger, but either way if can get you into grief. I think in that respect your GP was trying to help you by warning you. I hoope things pick up soom hun and be carfeul with the DWP xxxxx

  • i know you do ,an im going to find out dont need anymore stress worry but i own me house all paid up few month ago that was brill woohoo an i don't get council tax benefit so no worries there just incapacity pay thank u xx

  • You can take in a lodger and earn up to £4,250 is the link though not sure re other benefits ...hopes this helps to destress a little

  • Check your area and see if there is a "Disability Rights" group. They are very helpful and even help fill in forms, at least in my area they did.

  • thank you ,been trying to ring them coz im so worried 30 min on hold still not picked up soooooo annoying xx

  • I should keep trying, they may have more than one office, or may not be manned everyday. Though they should have an answer machine. My area always picked up quickly but this is a large city. In rural areas may be different. Don;t give up, don't hold on for more than 3 mins if no answer.

    Best wishes

  • First I would see my welfare rights officer and get my money fixed up and collect everything that belongs to the ex and have it put outside the door and tell the dead bead coward of a ex that, as he has no rent book or proof that he lives here it is time he collected all his goods that you have kept in store for him ( free of charge ) and the police have been informed so he had better collect and clear of, Oh! and remember to tell him the local hotel rates and that the police do not take kindly to someone trying to blackmail another person. The worst that can happen is he reports you and all you have to do is deny it and say he came for a few days and refused to leave and he threatened you.

    It may be that you will be financially worse off for a wee while but contentment and freedom to breath is worth it and but it down to experience. Come on Chicme I bet you can picture his face and there is a smile on yours, it works, I did it and learned fast.


  • Hi please dont worry i am on dla and my husband works full time and is does not affect my dla the only thing it can afect is your council tax and any other benifits you are getting hope this helps happy new year carolx

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