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[Cumnock]

This is not creative. Things are just getting so much worse. I have had fibromyalgia for 20 years now. Going into hospital for an investigation on my colon tomorrow and have had an op on my leg which wasnt succesful. Need steroud injections kn my knee. Am in so much pain i really font care if my colon tests come back as cancer. I just want out of here and to go to sleep. Thank you for listening none else cares

[Hidden]

Look I no how u feel I really do I to have fibro and so much pain but u must keep fighting this don't let it get the better of you I watched a man the other day born with no arms and legs but was full of hope he's an evangelist it totally blew me away little things make us appreciate life, I really hope alls well regarding your Colon tests and what ever the out come do be strong I've been to a and e so many times thinking if got some sort of cancer that there missing but it's always fibromyalgia people do care I'm sure we'll we do on here because we no the struggle u face please let me no how u get on message me when ever xxxxx

[Cumnock in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much. I so that about yhe man with no arms and legs. Sorry am just letting it get me this week . We are having work done on the house and its just exhausting as you know with not much sleep. Will b ol xxxc

[Hidden in reply to Cumnock]

You will be OK hun one of those days we are all here for u x

[Hidden]

Very true soldier on as I say x

[Cumnock]

Have had another awful night like all of you. I really cant stand it anymore. Will give it to the new year then def gonna be gone. I hate the whole of this life

[Dizzytwo Moderator in reply to Cumnock]

Hi there, I'm sure we all have our dark days it can be hard dealing with any chronic illness that's for sure. I've been reduced to a wheelchair and pain 24/7 unable to take pain meds doesn't help. But for all that I do find pleasure in my day to day life. Life is a very precious gift. No one knows the cards we get dealt with at birth. I just think all I can do is play the hand I've been dealt. In my dark days and believe me I get them too just like everyone else. I found this poem years ago and read it on my bad days. It helps give me inspiration. I hope it helps you and everyone during their dark days xx

The Race

attributed to Dr. D.H. "Dee" Groberg

Whenever I start to hang my head in front of failure’s face,

my downward fall is broken by the memory of a race.

A children’s race, young boys, young men; how I remember well,

excitement sure, but also fear, it wasn’t hard to tell.

They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race

or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.

Their parents watched from off the side, each cheering for their son,

and each boy hoped to show his folks that he would be the one.

The whistle blew and off they flew, like chariots of fire,

to win, to be the hero there, was each young boy’s desire.

One boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd,

was running in the lead and thought “My dad will be so proud.”

But as he speeded down the field and crossed a shallow dip,

the little boy who thought he’d win, lost his step and slipped.

Trying hard to catch himself, his arms flew everyplace,

and midst the laughter of the crowd he fell flat on his face.

As he fell, his hope fell too; he couldn’t win it now.

Humiliated, he just wished to disappear somehow.

But as he fell his dad stood up and showed his anxious face,

which to the boy so clearly said, “Get up and win that race!”

He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit that’s all,

and ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.

So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win,

his mind went faster than his legs. He slipped and fell again.

He wished that he had quit before with only one disgrace.

“I’m hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn’t try to race.”

But through the laughing crowd he searched and found his father’s face

with a steady look that said again, “Get up and win that race!”

So he jumped up to try again, ten yards behind the last.

“If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought, “I’ve got to run real fast!”

Exceeding everything he had, he regained eight, then ten...

but trying hard to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again.

Defeat! He lay there silently. A tear dropped from his eye.

“There’s no sense running anymore! Three strikes I’m out! Why try?

I’ve lost, so what’s the use?” he thought. “I’ll live with my disgrace.”

But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face.

“Get up,” an echo sounded low, “you haven’t lost at all,

for all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.

Get up!” the echo urged him on, “Get up and take your place!

You were not meant for failure here! Get up and win that race!”

So, up he rose to run once more, refusing to forfeit,

and he resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit.

So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been,

still he gave it all he had and ran like he could win.

Three times he’d fallen stumbling, three times he rose again.

Too far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end.

They cheered another boy who crossed the line and won first place,

head high and proud and happy -- no falling, no disgrace.

But, when the fallen youngster crossed the line, in last place,

the crowd gave him a greater cheer for finishing the race.

And even though he came in last with head bowed low, unproud,

you would have thought he’d won the race, to listen to the crowd.

And to his dad he sadly said, “I didn’t do so well.”

“To me, you won,” his father said. “You rose each time you fell.”

And now when things seem dark and bleak and difficult to face,

the memory of that little boy helps me in my own race.

For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all.

And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.

And when depression and despair shout loudly in my face,

another voice within me says, “Get up and win the race!

Momo

[Greenpeace in reply to Cumnock]

Good morning Cumnock , you really are in distress! You are overwhelmed with all the different health conditions that are going on in your life at the moment, individually you may have been able to handle them, but all at the one time it has become too much for you.

None of us on the forum are qualified to give medical advice, we can only support you with advice from our own experiences.

All of the health conditions that you’ve mentioned are in themselves, not life life threatening, but the pain they are causing is too much for you at the moment. You say “I’ll give it until the new year, then I’ll be gone”. is that a cry for help?

I’ve mentioned to you before that I think you need Professional help, with both your Pain Management, and your low mood, and I’ve made a few suggestions that you could look into to get that help. Also, HealthUnlocked has other forums to support people with Depression & Anxiety. You are most welcome on this forum, and we can offer support, friendship & advice, but you might also benefit by joining other forums on HealthUnlocked who are more specific to your needs. If you go to the top of the page you will see a search bar.

You obviously are under the care of various Consultants, and of course your GP. Have you shared with them how you feel?

I hope the investigations that you’re having done today go well, and shed some light as to what is going on in your Colon. Please let us know how they go.

Good luck.

GP. 😊😊

[Cumnock in reply to Greenpeace]

Thank you for your kind reply.

I may have to have a colonoscopy and if i do i think it def will push me over the edge.

My family isnt around me and i dont have any close friends to talk with so i cant really open up to anyone about things.

Because of Covid i cant get a doctors appointment to see anyone face to face so thats another cosed door.

I cried yesterday when i went to have my investigation at theatre not because of what they were doing but just because i cant cope with the pain anymore.

Tomorrow am having a check on my hands cos i may have carpal tunnel syndrome or maybe its just the djupytrens getting worse. I have had an op on my right hand a few years ago.

Friday am seeing specialist about my feet as the arches have djupytrens too. Its called a different name on your feet beginning with L something like lederhose and its starting to pull on my toes. Am also waiting for steroid injections on my right knee.

The whole of my body is in pain and am so depressed i really cannot cope with it.

My husband is not understanding at all so i have noone.

And i dont want to dump it on my daughters.

Thank you for listening

My name is Nanette

Cumnock is where i was born 😥😥