Not too sure how to start the post but here it goes... It seems like my world gone upside down in the last couple of months. My work has been extremely difficult and long story short as a result I had to resign to avoid further mental and physical damage. They made me suicidal. I have been signed off for a month and after that decided that I'm not going back to work. I am currently trying to find a job but because of constant tiredness and fibro fog I feel like I'm so stupid and wherever I go I will be making mistakes and get in trouble. I lost all confidence and I am panicking about interviews so much. I feel like stress has overtaken my life and I get a blank head. I am currently on 20mg fluoxetine and feel I could not care less about anything. Motivation is below zero all I want is sleep I slept 13h on Tuesday. I am scared my partner will get annoyed with me as he is financially supporting me atm. Not sure where to turn for some help with jobs as obviously with fibro and chronic fatigue I would like to avoid working in very physical jobs but then eg. I'm terrified of phones To me everything is terrifying atm and I feel like I cannot achieve anything and everyone is judging me. I do feel ashamed of my illness and find it difficult to admit it to employers as I think it's a turndown straight away. I know I sound like a whiny teenager but I'm actually 34. Just seems like all is pointless and I'm just unnecessary part of society plus I'm not British which makes me feel even more guilty although I'm not claiming any benefits.
I'm sorry for a weird post. Is anyone feeling of did feel similar? If yes is there anything I can do or turn to for help?
Lots of warm hugs