Hi guys. I'm new so bear with me. I'm 42 and currently not working due to not only having fibro, but also caring for my daughter with Asperger's. I feel very low that I don't work and bring an income to the family. My husband works all hours to do this. He says what I do at home with the kids and house etc is so important and that's better than any paid work. While I agree, I still want to earn my own money. I get carers allowance for looking after my daughter. Do any of you have small, part time jobs and how do you cope if you have a bad episode? I've lost many jobs for having too much time off? What jobs do you do? I don't know where or what to start looking for. I have a degree and masters degree, but I'm not really qualified in anything.
Want to work but don't know how - Fibromyalgia Acti...
Want to work but don't know how
Hello and welcome ❤️ Sounds like you are doing an amazing job at home...and I do mean job in every sense.
That said, I totally get how you feel about wanting to contribute to the household in a financial way. I work as a freelance journalist and magazine editor. Because I am freelance, I can keep my own hours - so when I feel rubbish, I don’t do any work. And then sometimes I work at 4am in the morning because I’m awake and feel ok!
I used to do full time hours - which in reality was 7 days a week. I’ve recently cut down to part time and I give myself a few days free to recover and also enjoy some hobbies.
The job market is tough at the moment. But one bonus is that the attitude to home-working has shifted. It’s much easier to hold down a job when you can do it from the sofa or your bed!
Not sure what skills you have - but could you consider starting your own company? Xx
Hi LoneEra - I totally understand your frustration. I am on the other side of the spectrum to you - I work a fulltime job (40 hr week) and it kills me. I am currently off sick after a bad flare up and its a nightmare! Last year I started setting up my own business online (health & wellness) with the outlook of giving up working for an employer and to enable me to work for myself so I can manage my fibro better. This is something I am so glad that I have done. I'm also taking an amazing new product which has just been released into the UK market , and has truly helped with my fibro symptoms. So much so, that I have now become a wellness advocate for it and can earn money this way too at my own pace and leisure. This is the only way I am going to be able to carry on with my life before I honestly go insane.
I would love to earn money, I have a degree in art so I'm basically unqualified. My children are 2 and 6 so I'm currently homeschooling and looking after them. My husband works long hours so brings in all the money but can't help with the house and kids. I worked in Tescos when I was at uni but didn't cope with it well and have never worked since. I feel permanently guilty and frustrated. I have a lot of illnesses that all induce chronic pain and insomnia. After the financial crisis I thought my chances of being employed were pretty slim and now with the pandemic I presume it would zero. Who would want to employ an ill, inexperienced 43 year old with young children? Sorry obviously not all helpful but I really do feel your pain!
Can you sell your art online? Or work doing illustration for a book publishing company - working from home?
Trouble is there's a huge amount of competition, there are so many illustrators and artists out there, it's more than a full time job to create and promote artwork. I don't have enough time or energy to produce work and promote it what with all my illnesses and the kids. The 2 year old is non stop and my 6 year isn't getting to sleep until 10 at night most days I'm broken by the evening and that doesn't even take into account that I do all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, car maintenance all the gardening etc. I have an Instagram account with artwork but my attempts to sell in online have never been successful. I dont really sleep and im in constant pain trying to complete with childless healthly non disabled artists I don't really stand a chance despite always getting high grades.
Not to mention it's incredibly expensive to produce artwork as I am a screenprinter, I have long periods where I can't work bc I don't have enough money to buy the necessary equipment.
I hear you, it’s not easy. And it sounds like you’ve got way too much on your plate at the moment, so just take the pressure off yourself.
I only suggested that as your original comment sounded like you wanted suggestions x
If your family can afford to be a single income home, there is nothing wrong with you not working. Being a mom is a full time job and you should be very proud of your care for the whole family.
I was such a feminist when I was young can't help feeling I've let my sex down! Although I'm glad I didn't have a choice when my little ones were born bc I would have found leaving them very difficult. I know a lady with children the same age who has basically never cooked them an evening meal bc they are always in wrap around care, mind you they have tons of money so have been able to send their kids to a good school, my daughter's school is terrible.
You are in the same situation as me. 42, not much experience in anything, got children to care for (one of my daughters is autistic and that is draining without being ill). My husband said if you want to work, then go for it, but when will you find the time? I'm up at 6am, get an hour's rest at 2pm and then don't stop until I have my dinner at 8pm and then clean up afterwards. I get to sit down at 9.30/10pm but then it's bedtime. I know we are doing an amazing job of raising kids, home schooling, giving them a secure home, bringing up the next engineers, bus drivers and politicians, but there's just something that upsets me that I don't earn money.
Feel exactly the same. I was under 6 stone when I graduated it was so important to me to get qualified and then it was all for nothing. I'm the only person I know who has never really worked. I can't see ever being able to get a job even when the kids are both at school, I'm over qualified with no experience and a plethora of illnesses that I could only work within primary school hours. Art is a ridulously hard career path that few people make an income from.
You are the only person I've met who has been in the same situation as me. My kids are a bit older. 16, 14 and 11. You would think it would be easier as they grow, but it's not. My 14 year old is autistic and not been to school since November 2019. I've been fighting with the council for 3 years to get her a place in a SEN school. Her mainstream school senco has even told them that her current school can't help her. The worry and fighting would be enough for anyone, with fibro, it's leaving me dead. I think we have to start training our brains for a different mindset. One where work is in the bottom of the list and we won't worry about it until we get to it. Number 1 should be what we can do to manage our illness and make us feel well, followed by the next important job, making sure our families are thriving. Nothing is more important than bringing children up, they are the world's future, so we have the hardest and most important thing to do. We shouldn't overworry ourselves. I've tried and I can't stop overworrying, so I need to try harder ☺️
Yup I'm highly strung, very anxious person my daughter is too. I have social phobia although I am naturally quite a social person so I'm always conflicted by craving interaction but not being able to cope with notions around performance, which obviously is essential for most jobs.
My nephew has aspergers, he's 13 he's expected to do GCSE's we don't think he will pass any of them, the only thing is really interested in is Dr Who and the like. It's a worry. He's hitting puberty but is very childlike in that regard we worry this might confuse him futher.
I don't have any notion of a professional self, it makes me feel like a child! But you are right about the kids, we have a duty of care unfortunately I worry a lot they'll end up like me and not like their father. My daughter is already displaying aspects of insomnia, she doesn't sleep til 10 despite going up at 7 and has headaches too. Her father's father family could fall asleep standing up it comes so easily to them It's a shame she doesn't take after them!
It is interesting to read the responses on here and the challenges that some face. Our employment publication at fmauk.org/publications may give some guidance.
But, I wonder if people have considered volunteering and seeing how you cope with that change and then if it provides a stepping stone to employment. Certainly the benefits to self may not be monetary but are very useful especially for us with a chronic condition. The positive feeling from contributing is helpful to our mental health.
It can also help us find a direction that is suitable for you as well as experience to use in applying for another job later. An of course you can test your existing skills and learn new ones.
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