Fibromyalgia Action UK
39,235 members51,369 posts

I just wish I could crawl out of this body and into a new one!!!

Before I start whining about my current aches, pains, and problems, I think I should first give a little background on my medical history. I feel like I have truly destroyed my body throughout the course of my life. I feel like I have broken almost as many bones as Evil Knievel!

1: Broken left wrist

2: Broken right wrist

3: Broken right tibia/fibula, no surgery, only a cast and it didn't heal correctly

4: Crushed all metatarsals in rt foot

A: reconstructive surgery with hardware

B: hardware removed

C: 5th metatarsal surgically broken and reconstructed

D: 2nd metatarsal surgically broken and reconstructed

5: Shattered right tibia fibula and ankle with surgical reconstruction, hardware installed

A: Lots more to come on my right tibia fibula injuries

6: Had osteoid osteoma tumor in right femur

A: Had one unsuccessful surgery aimed at destroying the tumor

B: Had second surgery aimed at removing the section of bone that contained the tumor, and replacing that void with synthetic bone

7: Had perineal tendon surgery to reroute the torn tendon through my right ankle bone.

A: Also had plate and screws removed from right (previously shattered) fibula during this surgery

8: Appendectomy

9: Had two screws break in my rt. tibia and had to have surgery to remove the plate and the screws/partial screws.

10: Pulverized my right clavicle in a motorcycle vs deer collision. The doctor said my clavicle was broken in 18 pieces that he could count, and my shoulder looked like someone had dumped a handful of sand in it.

A. Had reconstructive surgery with hardware installed

B. Had second surgery to remove hardware from my shoulder, but my clavicle fell apart

C. Had third surgery on my shoulder to waste synthetic bone in the remaining clavicle fracture, with new hardware installed

D. Had fourth shoulder surgery to remove hardware and also 1 inch of my clavicle that was protruding into my shoulder joint

11: Had my right tibia and fibula surgically re-broken and a piece of cadaver bone inserted in order to correct the limb length difference and deformity, and all hell broke loose at this point!

A. Woke up during surgery and fell off the operating table on to the operating room floor, causing the surgeon to nick an artery and sever at least one nerve.

B. Had to have vascular surgery

C. Had to have skin graft surgery to cover the massive hole in my leg

D. Had to have the surgery completely redone due to a failure of the hardware

E. Had to have the surgery completely redone again due to a deep bone infection and once again failing hardware

F. Finally had to have all hardware removed including the broken pieces of the screws that had been in my leg through all of the surgeries, and had a titanium rod inserted just above my knee and attached with two screws in both my knee and my ankle.

I have so much constant terrible pain in so many parts of my body that I can't get my brain not to constantly pay attention to one or all sources of my pain when I try to lay down to go to sleep, it's like I start having the worst kind of anxiety attack! It's like I wish I could somehow crawl out of my body, because I feel like I live in some medieval torture device (my body) that constantly inflicts pain in practically every part of my body: Rt toes (all), rt foot, rt ankle, left ankle, rt shin (tibia and fibula), rt knee, left knee, rt femur/thigh, both hips, low back, upper back, neck, rt shoulder and arm numb/asleep constantly and hurts so bad I can't explain it or stand it, left shoulder aches constantly from being badly dislocated, plus I'm showing signs of CTE (Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy, the concussion disorder) from having about 10 serious concussions throughout my life. I wake up every morning with my feet feeling like they were stored in a freezer overnight yet I immediately start sweating from the waist up. I cannot feel my right foot or hand, except for pain! Yet, I am having to fight through appeal after appeal for my disability that got terminated with no warning! My doctors all say I'm disabled, but that's not good enough for Metlife or Social Security!!

18 Replies

I have read many articles on fibromyalgia and included in those articles were all of the warning signs and symptoms of fibro, and I swear reading those lists of symptoms is like reading all of my thoughts and complaints about my body!

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Hi thats is a great deal of surgery. I cannot imagine the amount of pain you are going through.

I really hope there are points where you do get some relief.

Good luck :):)

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I would just like to say welcome to the forum. I am presuming that on top of all this that you have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It sounds as though for an awfully long time you have either been waiting for surgery, having it, or recovering from it so you have been in an unrelenting circle of pain.

Unfortunately, I am unfamiliar with the USA system but like our benefit system it is so disheartening and at the same time infuriating to be someone who is genuinely disabled and still have to fight for your rights. I do hope good fortune starts to smile on you for a change.x


I have not been diagnosed with fibromyalgia yet, because they took away my health insurance when I had an appointment with a rheumatologist that was three weeks away and I couldn't afford to pay for the visit myself.


That's such a pity to have happened so near the appointment.x


Dear Lord and I thought I had problems! Fail to understand how they can deny entitlement.

Cant find words adequate words. xxx


I would certainly challenge your entitlements.


Hi AllPainNoGain ,Talk about a list! ! Ive had one broken bone and it made your list #5 shattered right ankle with surgery to put back together.Take care and BE CAREFUL!! Peck 🐤


Hi AllPainNoGain

I sincerely hope that you are feeling as well as you possibly can be today? Welcome to the forum and it is wonderful to make your acquaintance. I have pasted for you below a link to our mother site, FMA UK which hosts loads of useful Fibro information:

You really have been through so much reading your post, and I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck and please take care of yourself my friend.

All my hopes and dreams for you



That is one heck of a list of medical conditions.....I hope you have some meds which help you cope...Have you ever shown your list that you posted to your GP/Doctor or whoever to assist in your appeal? Best of luck and please be don't want to add to the list!!! Hug xx

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My word!! That's a HUGE list. You have all of my hopes for as little pain as possible my lovey xxx

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I fail to understand how they can terminate disability benefit when your doctors are supporting you. You must appeal this decision it is so wrong.

I wonder if you got any compensation after coming round during surgery and falling off the operating table? That must come under "medical negligence " surely?

My very best wishes to you, and hopes that you will get your benefit restored.


I consulted an attorney and he reviewed my medical records from the surgery, and there was absolutely nothing mentioned about my fall from the operating table! He told me I have no case! 😔


That seems very unfair, you need to have something written in your notes then, in order to prove it happened? There must have been nurses, an anaesthetist, plus the surgeon in theatre with you at the time. I suppose if they just close ranks you have no way of proving what had happened.

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Goodness me you sound like an accident waiting to happen. I should think you were on the poor surgeons last nerve when you fell off the operating table. Lucky someone was on the ball and failed to record the incident! Could have been expensive for the hospital. If I saw you coming my way and I was a Dr, I would run!

I do though think getting you a new body might be a good wheeze. And transplant some better luck too maybe while they are at it? Pull that operation off without mishap and it would be a feather in some surgeons cap, me thinks. Dya think you could get in covered by insurance? Hope you are having a good day.

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Oh they scrubbed my medical records cleaner than the floor of that operating room, as it pertained to my in-surgery incident! I am without insurance right now because of our corrupt Social Security system, that would rather give you a gun and a bullet than give you the healthcare you deserve!

Did I also mention that I am a disabled veteran who served honorably in the United States Army for three years? People always want to shake my hand and thank me for my service, but I would rather never hear one thank you, and just be treated with a little bit of respect that I believe I have earned!


I do transcendental meditation, which, when done properly actually does allow one to separate one's body from the pain. It takes a good teacher and lots of practice, but once mastered it is a God send.

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After jumping through close to 10 million hoops, I have finally won my appeal with my long-term disability company, and they are reinstating my long-term disability benefits which includes my pay and my health insurance! Praise God! And thank you to all of you who took the time to mention me in your prayers because our prayers have finally been answered to an extent. At least now I can start setting up and going to doctors' appointments once again, and they can start trying to figure out if there is anyway that they can help me again.

They are also going to be paying me back pay for the last five months that they haven't paid me my disability income, and they are also going to be refunding all of the money that I have had to pay for prescriptions and doctors appointments that I had to pay for myself because of the fact that I had no insurance. I feel somewhat vindicated! And it feels good! Now, if I can just prevent that from ever happening to me ever ever ever again!


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