When will my life start again?

I've been off work now, but times like this make me wonder what is left of my future. I feel so lonely and sad. I feel like I can't give any kind of a contribution to society or my family. I've become deeply depressed. I wonder if life is even worth it. My separation with my husband has been very difficult. Each day I wake up, and I wish I had a purpose. And when I find one I simply sink deeper into depression. The more I want to do, the more depressed I feel. I hate leaving my house. I hate being around people. I can't stand faking happiness. It drives me crazier. Every little thing aggravates me, and I'm super sensitive and cry easily. I don't even know how to pick myself up. I don't know how to be happy, or recognize happiness. i feel like a loser, who deserves nothing. So I get nothing in return. The hardest part, is I see myself, but feel completely disassociated. I look like crap, the little bit of clothes I have are worn and old. I live on my mothers sofa. I don't know how much longer I can continue like this.😢

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13 Replies

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  • I have just read your post and it has made me feel very sad. Sad that this illness can do this to someone. Well you are not alone. We are all here for you. I have been in exactly the same situation as you in my past. Life for me is now 100 times better, than when I went through the same as what you are going through now.

    Please don't say you are a loser. You are not, you are just having a very bad time at the moment.

    It doesn't help you now I understand, but things will get better. If you want to pm me and have a chat, then I am here.

    I am at home off sick , signed off because my Fibromyalgia is too bad for me to go to work.

    Please take care of yourself.

    Jane x

  • Ditto and you have just helped me too by me just reading you reply.

    Thank you xxx

  • I am so very sorry to hear this - you need to remember you are worthy and deserve to be here as much as anyone else. I have found great comfort in reading - a good book to challenge depression is by Paul Hauck who is very hard hitting but it does help. Also search for a piece of writing called Desiderata as it is good for the soul when you keep reading it.

    Stay strong, go back to the gp and get more support and be kind to yourself.

    Always here to listen and help xxx

  • What a rough time you are having....I am so sad for you, but have you told your doctor how you feel as I am sure he/she could help you sort out your feelings of anxiety and depression..sometimes you cannot do it alone and although we are hear to listen and support maybe someone closer to home...please remember though should you need to talk the Samaritans are always there.....I wish you love, peace and friendship....Gentle Hug xx

  • You are certainly no loser my friend, just visiting a dark place at the moment! and with the right help and support we can get you back on track again!

    Your very welcome to PM me anytime, always remember we're all here for you?

    Soothing healing hugs flying their way to you looking4me :) xxxx

  • Morning I just read your post.

    IT seems you aren't in a very good place at min, you have had a lot going on.

    I think you need someone to talk to.and we are all on here to help and talk, but sometimes it needs a bit more.

    Have you spoke to your gp.and explained just how low you are feeling.

    After a marriage break up its hard.

    So try not to be so hard on yourself, can you talk to your mum?

    Sending gentle hugs.

    Trace xxx

  • Oh looking4me Irs to much i want to say to you my friend so im going to message you honey xx

  • Hello my friend

    I am so sorry you are feeling so low and I can truly empathise with how you are feeling.

    Try to just take one day at a time and if need be take things hour by hour. Think baby steps.

    My brain is very active but sadly my body wont work.

    Have you ever been in touch with an organisation called MIND? We look after our physical health as best we can but not many of us think about our mental health.

    Please have a look at their website mind.org and think about contacting them.

    They will be able to offer you a Project Worker who you can see on a one to basis for a year free of charge.

    They also offer free counselling.

    If you would like to chat with me or would like to know anything more about MIND please let me know.

    You are not alone with this feeling of utter hopelessness but I feel sure talking to someone could help you.

    Wishing you much peace in your life.

    Lu xx

  • You're not alone. Sending hugs xxx

  • Hi looking4me

    I have read your post with so much pain and sorrow for how you are feeling at this time my friend. Please talk to your doctor about how you are feeling? Or confide in the Samaritans. I have pasted you a link below with their contact details on.

    healthunlocked.com/fibromya...

    I want to genuinely and sincerely wish you all the best of luck, and please take care of yourself.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken

  • Thank you all for your reply🌹 I'm going to start on some antidepressants to help me to get through. I don't expect it to work right away and may take a few weeks. I am also going to try to work things out with my husband. Not sure how it will go, and I'm just taking it a day at a time. But at least I can sleep in my own bed. Wish me luck and God bless you all for your support!

  • One thing for absolutely certain is that you have friends here who think you are very worth it, we dont think you are a loser and we are here for you, to listen to you and to help you as much as we can.

    Gentle hugs x

  • I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. I lost my husband recently and my fibromyalgia has got much worse so I can relate to how you are feeling , you just dont feel of use to anyone or anything anymore. Separating from your husband will be like a bereavement I would imagine and if you are struggling with health issues, pain and exhaustion ,you just want to crawl into your shell. Hopefully as your health improves and if you have a sympathetic GP who can help you, you will start to get more energy and may feel more up to having family and friends around you again. They have been my support and I am truly blessed to have them in my life so hang on in there ,you are not alone, it's a day at a time! Grieving isn't easy and I am sure this wont be helping you. Believe me there are people who need you too I am sure, and I hope you feel a wee bit better soon. sending hugs x

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