When will I learn to pace myself

Only diagnosed last Nov but really struggling to pace myself, I don't think I know the meaning of pacing myself. When you have worked for over 40 years and now some days I don't have the energy to move, but on other days I feel as if I can do anything, ha ha, just can't stop myself. I say I'm only going to do "this" and nothing else, but on I go and on and on, I'm my own worst enemy. Yesterday had the grandchildren for a few hrs, yes kids we can make cakes, big butterfly mounds, lemon drizzle and Victoria sponge butterflies, they were yummy but I was exhausted last night. Today, off I go again clearing out a walk in cupboard, heavy work moving things. I'm an idiot, totally wiped out and in tears tonight with pain. Fed up of doctor saying, I'm giving you these sleeping tablets but don't take them, duh!!! I only take them when I have had very little sleep for days. It's heaven knowing within half an hrs of taking even a 3.5 mg that you are going to get some sleep for at least 5 hrs instead of staring at the ceiling all night. Sorry it's such a long rant but needed to get it off my chest and know you will all know where I'm coming from. Help how do I start to pace myself xx

9 Replies

  • Hi Alice2355

    I am so genuinely sorry to read that you are suffering and struggling and I sincerely hope that your pain levels go down soon. It is a tough one trying to pace yourself; Julie usually nags at me if I keep on doing things and warns me that I am going to be in a lot of pain but I do not listen most of the time as there are so many things that I want to do. Please take care of yourself.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken x

  • You are not alone; I haven't learned to pace either. Like you, I worked hard  both bringing up two children after being widowed and at the same time being a nurse. Fibro came as a big shock, and I feel incredibly guilty that I cannot do the things I used to. My house is a tip, I only go out once a week to shop and pay bills, so I try to get everything done at once. My income doesn't allow me to go out more often, so for the rest of the week I am no use to man or beast. Frustration doesn't even begin to cover it.

  • We've all been there, and done that lol. You know what you need to do, you just have to admit it to yourself, and that is very hard when you are used to being active. Plus having to pace everything is very very frustrating. My kitchen needs painting. So I thought, it's just the kitchen, won't take long. Ha ha!! I did an hour one day, an hour the next day and it's driving me crazy!! I would have had no problems getting two coats on in a day, over and done with. It's going to take me weeks at this rate! Plus I have to ask my son to give up some of his well earned long weekend to help me as there is no way I can move the fridge. His wife is pregnant and they have plenty other things to do over a long weekend. So I have been selfish and stupid. If it was any other room I would have got a professional in to do it, why couldn't I include the kitchen in that thought?? I have no idea! I would be too embarrassed to get someone in to finish it now, so I will have to put up with it. 

    Sorry, didn't realise I needed a rant too 😳😳😥😳. Pacing. The best way to go about it is ask your GP to refer you to a Pain Management Programme. They will teach you ways to help you cope. Some you will use, some you will laugh at. Everyone is different. Have you tried looking it up online yet? I really hope you learn pacing soon. I promise I will try to remember how to do mine 😳😥😳🐸

  • Lol rant away sorebones, oh that's a brilliant name, just how I feel some days. Feeling bit better today after my tears last night, pity my eyes look like toad eyes today lol. You sound just like me, if I need something done, I need it done now, not tomorrow or next week but now. When nobody else is around to do it, I need to go ahead and do it. My daughter would be having a laug if she ever reads my posts. Live in a lovely one bedroom bungalow, when the grandchildren are not here my house is always nice and tidy. Cannot go to bed and leave the dishes in the sink, looked at t nd toast dishes one morning and said to them, no I'm not doing you, I'm going out to visit my fibro friend for a cuppa, managed to walk away and did them later. Big step for me, I sounds nuts lol. It's only a few dishes in the sink.  Chilling today, out for cuppa with the witches of eastwick friends, then granddaughters birthday tea at 6, then home and rest for the night. Hope your feeling a lot better today xx

  • Yes, I know that well lol. It's a very hard habit to break. But it does happen after loads of time if you let it. Your dishes are a great example. I have always done things that have to be done or I want done at once. Patience is not one of my strongest virtues. Too many years of living on my own as my hubby works all over the world. I'm not too bad today, thank you for asking. May even get another hour of painting in lol. None of us look very good with the puffy eye syndrome.  But the heart feels better for letting the tears fall. I currently have one grandchild but will have 4 by the end of August! My daughter is expecting twins (and already has 3 year old Emily) and my son and daughter in law are expecting too. Plenty to look forward to. Hope you have a great time with the witches lol 🐸

  • I don't know.......I can't do it either. I had a course f Behaviour management which was helpful in that I know I'm being daft now when I overdo things but I feel I ahve to make an effort with things when I can......sorry i can't help you.


  • Hi it's hard to pace yourself I no I do what you do and suffer but yesterday I went to one shop didn't walk around all of it and suffered last night I think then is it worth being in thus much pain just to go to a shop for half hour my husband keeps saying rest but can't rest for long nights are the worst 

    Kind regards 

    Carol ☺ 

  • This is one of the hardest things to get to grips with. You learn the hard way, by overdoing it, and paying for it later. I'm about eighteen months in since diagnosis, and still learning. Planning your days helps, make a list of things you need to do, and then pick the most important ones. Allow time between tasks for a rest and a cup of tea, perhaps half an hour of reading or crafting ( anything you enjoy). It breaks the tasks up into manageable bits, with rest breaks in between. Good luck with everything MariLiz 

  • Thank you for all your advice.  Love the frog sorebones, my nickname is grotbags, the kids in the neighbourhood used to call me this in my younger days, now my grandchildren call me it now and again, love being a granny or nana as all my 11 grandchildren call me, they keep me going. Sounds like good advice mariliz, I really need to start doing this but as my fibro witch friend said today, I can't do it, pace myself, until I totally accept I have fibro and that's the way it is. She did hit a sore but truthful point but that's what friends are for. Did feel a lot better after the tears and I know when I'm doing things I'm going to regret it later or tomorrow but sometimes I just can't help myself. Does anyone else get what appears like swollen lumps around the inner elbow joints, below knees etc, mine are so bad some days lately that I'm unable to bend my arm, my fibro friend doesn't, she was puzzled but I have mentioned it to my doctor, not that she took a look at it....... This is actually where most of my pain is coming from last few weeks and past few days have had a strange, what I can only describe as a light shock across my lower face and in my left hands, it's like a quick buzz and I can hear a sound like god this is difficult to describe lol, I say it's as if someone has just shaken sand in a plastic bottle, my son in law today said is it like when the sea water comes onto the sand sound, yes that's what it sounds like, a little whoosh, reading this back sounds as if I've just lost the plot lol, but it's hard describe. I have a phone appointment on Monday with my own doc but I'm going to tell her I need to see her. I'm on 90mg of Duloxetine a day and that's it apart from sleeping tablet at night 3.75mg of Zopiclone when required, ha ha that's every night then. Have had all the others in the past for arthritis, gabapentin and can't remember the other one, both didn't agree with me. Any suggestions welcome xx

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