I'm really really low tonight. I've made my mind up to stop the counselling course the effect it's having on me is devastating,I'm a nervous wreck and am hardly coping. I feel so unwell and I just cannot keep putting myself under this intolerable pressure. It's all well and good people saying stick with it,it will be worth it but how can they really know? All I can see from my perspective is sheer terror. I tell myself to pull myself together to be strong but it doesn't work I just feel more and more unwell. Pl ease don't think I'm weak but if I am weak it's the illness making me like it. I've tried all sorts,loosing weight,going to the gym,hypnotherapy. I really feel at an all time low. My kids are due home tomorrow after a week at their dads and I don't know how I'm going to cope. I have no one to look after me. I really wish I did. Nothing ever seems to get better,I don't know what the point of being alive is. It's just a constant fight and I don't even know what I'm fighting. My daughter has got exams coming up and she doesn't need an ill mother to cope with.
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