Hi everyone, I'm feeling like I'm the only one who has been bed ridden for the last few months and I'm that fatigued and in pain from fibro and my injured lower back, that I can't even shower or face the world as I'm just to exhausted. It's making me feel like it is in my head, as a lot of you lovely fibro friends can work, have a hobby etc I'm feeling so down with myself for feeling so weak willed. I'm not a one to give in easily as I've had a full time job with good career prospects, looked after my 2 beautiful girls, kept the home tidy, clothes washed and everyone fed, had a college course on the go and went to the gym before work. Now I'm exhausted just thinking about it. I had to give up a lot after the car accident, which really knocked me but as I had the most delightful abusive husband (not physical but mental, emotional, verbal and sexual abuse) keeping me going, telling me I was lazy and nothing was good enough, I struggled on. I eventually got the courage to walk out 3 years ago but it took a long time to get him out of my head and the divorce has only just came through. I was however to meet my childhood sweetheart and we are now living together, he is such an amazing person. I digress, I had surgery that went wrong and the surgeon damaged my spinal cord, so I'm in constant pain anyway but now the next episode of my life includes fibro and lots of other problems. Don't know how to keep going.
Sorry everyone for being so negative at this festive time of the year but I'm really struggling.
Peace to you all.
xx
Written by
Rachel1973
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it's just awful love. you have a lot of serious illnesses and disabilities.
sadly I know how you feel im constantly in bed haveI been ill from 2003. spent 2 &half years waiting for diagnosis of sphincter of oddi had major surgery did n't help . so now got chronic pancreatitis and fibromyalgia and I thought at times I was crazy .we had to sell our home I had to give up my job in 2005 and when you think it can't get any worse since August this year now have attacks of acute pancreatitis which is horrendous and I live scared that it will come back . I don't know how we keep going but somehow we do i think a lot of people here put on brave face .you obviously have had a different journey to me but I have felt why can't I shower today.my walking stick stayed in laundry basket for 3 months and I waited about a year before I got help to shower but still can't most days.
I'm sorry your having a tough time love but I can understand some of it and it one more person says keep positive I will scream ......
take care love hope things improve sounds like you have a great man and family that counts for so much love Squeak xx
I'm so sorry your going through and have gone through so much. It always feels like everyone else never has a single day off sick and we get everything. There is so much more that has gone on in my life, as will be in yours but I could write a book. Your kind words have given me so much comfort. I send wishes that you achieve some peace and find someone who can improve your way of life, that a lovely person as yourself deserves. I will keep in touch if that's ok?
Rachel thank you for lovely caring words . it is so hard when ever one else is out in the world and we are just stuck in become mostly cause . it how I find the most comfortable position . so much of what you said rang true. you are so brave and strong although I'm sure you don't feel it .I would be honoured to hear from you again .I did n't mean to go on about myself but I wanted you to know your not alone I know my illness are v different than your pain is pain I suppose in some ways . I would love to hear from you again .oh and I feel the same about Christmas BAA HUMBUG !!!! lots of love Squeak xXxX
Sorry to hear you are feeling so low. Tis a dreadful time of year I think to find outer and inner resources to keep on trucking.
Be a bit of a miracle if you were all bright eyed and bouncy given what life has hurled your way. Nothing weak willed about it. Sometimes I think my thoughts give me as much grief as the body.
Hurling you a virtual fluffier to cuddle or bash depending on your mood.
He is very forgiving and thrives on a bit of bashing on account of he bounces well.
Oh he is a bugger for bouncing on beds when you is fed up with him hurl him back.
Thanks for those kind words nedd, it's lovely that you have replied and given me some strength. I'm on 100mg of amitriptyline a day for depression and nerve pain but it has a bad reaction with the pregablin. thanks I will send the fluffier back once it's done the job.
I'm so sorry to hear you are at such a low point. I don't think you are being negative but are just realistically looking at how your life is at this moment and I do think this time of year is difficult if you are not feeling at all up to the mark. From what you have posted you have been very resiliant in the past and have managed through sheer grit to rise above the negative things that have happened to you. I think alot of us put on a brave face but we are actually like swans looking all serene on top as though we are coping and our feet scrabbling around underneath trying to get a grip on life.
Don't compare yourself with any of us as even though we all have problems not all of us have had to cope with all the things that you have. Just be kind to yourself, do what you can by taking tiny steps at a time and just take each day as it comes. Hopefully with the love and support of the wonderful man you now have back in your life you will get through this difficult time. Warm hugs to you.x
Rachel, I see a friend struggle each day with fibro and a few other health problems and I find it difficult to express the contempt and abuse she puts up with from her husband!
At least your away from that part of your life and have found someone supportive.
There are many who don't make the move for what ever reasons,, weak willed is not a term I would use to describe someone who is prepared to dissolve a marriage that is not right and move on.
I am so genuinely sorry to read of your suffering and your plight, and I sincerely hope that you can find some resolution and relief to these issues. I do not think that you are being negative at all, as we are all unique individuals and we all react differently, and feel differently with our Fibro and our medications. Every persons Fibro is different from day to day and month to month, so we all understand where you are coming from as we have been there ourselves from time to time.
I want to wish you all the best of luck with feeling more like your usual self again, and you clearly have a lot to look forward too in your life.
All my hopes and dreams for you
Ken x
Hi Rachel
You are feeling like this now but it won't be forever, I think a chat about how you feel with your doctor is a good idea as it sounds like you may be depressed and possibly fatigued too, which kinda comes with the pain and discomfort we feel on a daily basis.
You are not alone as many of us suffer with is and have possibly/probably been through some kind of CBT to help us change how we think about things. For example: "I can't do that" can be altered to "I'm not sure if I can do that" or "I will give it go but not feeling positive about it", which suggests you will try before saying no rather than saying no outright. Having a positive view instead of a negative one can really help to lessen the amount of pain we feel!! Anyhoo! your GP should understand your situation and could possibly offer you some treatment to help alleviate the depression.
Try to be positive and possibly try to include some (PMR) Muscular relaxation AND Planned times for regular positive relaxation here's a link to a Post from the Past of mine. It's not for everyone and can take some time to get the hang of it but it can help.
RELAXATION TECHNIQUE - Muscular relaxation AND Planned times for regular positive relaxation
....... I personally find relaxation helps with the lessening of my pain, anxiety and depression which plagues me daily
In time your energy and drive will return for you to begin doing things............ one step at a time!! Start with aiming to get up and get dressed for example, I set myself a time in which to do it by some days.
I am in bed most days as it's the most comfortable and warmest place to be for my back and legs, which diasagree with me sitting in a regular chair.............. it makes my knees pop and cripples my back!
I even have leg raisers on my power chair to help alleviate the problem for when I do get to go out and also an adjustable back to the fitted seat which helps my back
There is a whole section dedicated to treatments and therapies on our Mothersite fibroaction.org here is a direct link to those factsheets How Is Fibro Treated if you look on the right side of the screen you will see a list of topics.
Wishing you wellness and sending energising fleecy fluffies to help fight the fibro
xxx sian
Please remember that I am not a medical professional just a fellow fibromite sharing some info with you and it is always best to discuss possible treatments with your GP first. Thankyou
Dear Rachel, there is so little for me to add to the sentiments already expressed. I cannot imagine what you are going through. I will pray for you and send some happy, healing vibes out across the seas.
It must be hard to stay positive when you see many others running around, spending money, putting up decorations, baking, and all that stuff the holidays include. Well, sometimes that is just too much anyway. (it certainly is for me and I avoid most of it - have to go to fiance's Managers' Christmas Party and I am sort of dreading sitting there with people I barely know, have little in common with, and hope I don't have to sit next to those whom I intensely dislike or resent because they don't give Dave what he deserves and he works too damn hard)
This time of year it sometimes hurts to be going around with a smile pasted on your face and saying Happy Holidays to strangers. I'm sorry if I am reminding you of what you would like to be doing. I am really so very sorry that you are in so much physical and emotional pain.
Take care of yourself and try to find relaxing, peaceful, and beautiful things to take your mind away from your body for a time. ((((O))))
I totally get where your coming from after having my daughter by c section things went wrong I had septecimia, my left lung collapsed etc etc.
I had to learn to walk again and was 6 and a half stone and had a new born I didn't remember having, then my husband told me to hurry up and get well he needed to go back to work so I did as I was told signed myself out of hospital etc eventually recovered.
Diagnosed with fibro, had a good job, good life lol hubby left me for his secretary, fibro hit me with a hammer and I'm on elbow crutches cause my balance is no good, have a scooter to shop, and a bed I spend 70 % of my life
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Any Advice Please
Breast biopsy
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Doctor!!!
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