Shadows-walker

I am so sorry you are not getting the support you need , I can only surmise if I had stayed married that is the sort of treatment I would of got , in some ways I am blessed as my children support me ! And like your daughter are brill , they know I was not the sort of person to sit and complain ,and are actually more aware of my bad days than I am sort of , I am blessed

I can only send you hugs . And big ones ,

Take care

Chris xx

gilly25 in reply to Shadows-walker

Oh Thankyou shadows-walker, it's so nice to get support from you lovely people I do wish my OH would just sit and listen to me so I can explain what iam going through every day but unfortunately he just won't listen and it makes me so sad. Like I said my daughter is brill but I don't like to burden her as she has 3 children and works . I know she is always there for me and people like yourself are a god send So Thankyou for being there. Take care x

Reply (0)Report

TheAuthor

Hi gillyprice

I am so genuinely sorry to read that you are suffering and struggling and not get the support that you deserve from your partner. I am in a slightly different position to you, as my wife has Primary Progressive MS and her health is a lot worse than mine.

I was wondering if you have shown your partner the FMA UK website? As it hosts loads of Fibro information that might help him to understand your daily struggle? I have pasted you a link to the site below:

fmauk.org/

I want to genuinely and sincerely wish you all the best of luck.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken x

gilly25 in reply to TheAuthor

Thankyou Ken for your support and understanding. I have fried to show him on the net I have messaged him information emails him. Left leaflets around the house. So I have tried. But no he just isn't even prepaird to even listen. Thankyou for being there for me. It is so lovely that I can come to this site and everyone who is so understanding and supported. Take care x

Reply (1)Report

jayjay57

Hello gillyprice

I can completely understand what you are going through, I am in the same position as you are so I really feel for you & send you all my best.

I have had Chronic Coccyxdenia for just over 5 years now as well as a number of other painful conditions, my S1 L4 L5 have been damaged and has caused facet joint arthritis, Google this & you will find out more about it.

I have no one to help me (my husband is the same as yours) very uncaring give's me no help at all. So I just struggle & exist the best way that I can, it's my sheer determination which keeps me going.

I have now made the decision to leave my husband as I may as well be on my own anyway at least I won't have him to stress me out once I've moved out.

I have a lot to sort out first like applying to my local council for ground floor housing (stair's) are a nightmare for me now. I don't really know where to start as I will also need to claim benefit's to support me I think my first task is going to my local citizen's advice office.

It has taken me just over 3 years of struggling to make my decision.

I really do wish you & your children all the best.

Regards Jay

gilly25 in reply to jayjay57

Hi jay and thankyou for getting back to me. It's awful when you don't get the support off the people who are supposed to love you. In sickness and in Health. (What a joke Hun ) I have felt like leaving on many occasions but I know he would never leve me alone and it's just going to be so much pressure on me and I can do without that. My kids are all grown up and got family's of there own and I hate to burden them. So I will carry on I think that's the best for me. I hope you get all the help and advice you need to make your move go smoothly. CAB are brilliant they will help you all the way and if you ever need to talk I'm always here.and so are all the other people on this great site. Good luck in all that you do and I hope your life gets better fot YOU. Take care and speak soon x

Reply (1)Report

determined56

Hi I fully understand think you need to get a second consultant opinion.

I have the same but my compression was a disc going into the spinal cord...don't want to spook you but I had decompression& fusion of L4/5 and now have S1 deep injections to avoid surgery (as I now have bad recovery from anaesthetic -that's another story so no fusion of S1)

Degeneration happens but is greater to some than others.Ask also for a DEXA scan

Try a coccyx cushion from mobility shop and gentle muscle strengthening exercises Ask for a physio assessment for exercises so you don't do wrong ones.

Good luck my friend

Hugs to you & all

gilly25 in reply to determined56

Thankyou hunny. I have tried physio with no luck I've tried heat/ cold painkillers you name it I have tried.what is a Dexa scan!!! My doctor is not up to date with the modern medicine and all she does is give me more and more painkillers. Hope you are well take care and speak soon x

Reply (1)Report

TheAuthor in reply to gilly25

Hi gillyprice

A DEXA Scan measure bone density to check for both Osteoporosis and Osteopenia. I have a yearly scan as I have Osteoporosis, the scan is a painless, non-invasive procedure rather like an x-ray but it takes a little longer. I genuinely hope that this answers your question.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken x

Reply (0)Report

Royalspec01

Hi there so feel for you with regards to feeling like they think your putting it on . For me I find when ever new pains come along its just another area for me to learn to live with which can be exhausting . I have bulging disc in L5 and a lower degenerate that is slowly crippling me . At the beginning I wanted to know the same things, how long have I got, how fast will this happen etc. One doctor said to me you could be walking at 80 or sooner, no one knows the answer to this question. I know this sounds awful but people other than ourselves generally want to help solve things for us it s a kinda natural thing that happens , but when there's nothing they can do or not able to fully understand it, this can make them feel as helpless as we are and become short tempered or non reactive. Please don't worry about wheelchairs cause believe you me you'll know when you need one and the same for anything I promise you . When I got worried about my condition I started to use a crutch and found id rather walk with out one . Now I wouldn't be without it its my solace and safety for my balance. I say all this to hopefully reassure you in such a confusing unsure time. I hope you continue to use this site and find friends and comfort at time through your journey as I have. One things for sure you wont be alone. Lots of worm fluffy hugs for you x

gilly25 in reply to Royalspec01

Thankyou hunn and iam so grateful that I have found this wonderful site everyone is so lovely and the support and advice I get is just fantastic. I will keep using this site as it is full of answers that I would never have thought of.sending warm fluffy hugs back to you . Take care x

Reply (1)Report

Sorebones

It is so frustrating when Drs tell you what the problem is but in medical or idiot speak. Why they can't take time to explain things so that you understand is beyond me. It was my pain specialist who explained my MRI to me by showing me the pictures and pointing out the differences. It was such a relief that someone spoke to me like a human being.

The spiny processes you describe is the bodys own way of trying to protect itself but it hasn't managed to master the process yet. The vertebrae are hoping that the spines from the vertebrae below and the one directly above slot together to fuse themselves together to protect the spinal cord and to stop further degeneration of the disc. When you turn your spikes bits grate off each other.

The other thing the vertebrae do is to grow the bone further into something called the foraminal space. This compresses the nerve roots that pass through it, and as we both know, causes excruciating pain. Do a web search on Foraminal space and it should help you understand.

It is osteoarthritis. Wear and tear. Same thing. I feel that wear and tear is demeaning and dismisses the severity of the condition. My personal view though. If I was in my 80s I might let them get away with that, but not in my 40s.

I hope that has helped, but I suspect I have confused you even more. It's so much easier to explain face to face 🐸

gilly25 in reply to Sorebones

Thankyou for all the info and I will take it all on board and I will look it up on the internet it's so hard to take it all in and understand, Thankyou for your support and I hope you are well so take care x

Reply (1)Report

Mad_scientist_ in reply to gilly25

One of the key messages from a pain seminar I went to recently was that a scan will only show a possible cause of the pain. Different people with the same degeneration of their spine will feel it differently - some better, some worst. Only you can tell how it feels to you and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Reply (0)Report

Crackers1

It is frustrating, isnt it when you feel as though people dont believe you. Try and have plenty of rest and pace yourself. It is difficult to say whether it will get eorse or not. I would discuss it with your G.P. Gentle hugs!

Hidden

There are lots of great suggestions from people here and I'd like to add my 2 cents.

I think it would be worth looking up conditions that have arthritis and spondylitis in the spine. The one that springs to my mind is Ankylosing Spondylitis. I'll leave a link here for your information. I'm so sorry you're not feeling supported by your partner.

nass.co.uk/getting-my-diagn...

ukmsmi4

Hi

I am sorry to hear you are struggling so much at the minute. I'm sorry I can't offer a lot of advice because apart from the referred pain bit I don't relate to much of what you say. I am lucky that my husband is caring and understanding, but sadly it is because he has health issues of his own and can relate to them. I guess part of the problem is your other half doesn't and therefore cannot relate.

I'm not saying this is the problem, but could it be that he just hates to think of you in pain and suffering. Sometimes our loved ones react to our issues by trying to bury their heads in the sand and trying to pretend it isn't so because they don't want to watch us suffer.

I guess only you can have any idea of that as it is you that lives with him. I'm not sure what to suggest to get him to understand but it may be worth asking if he believes you and if not why not. Ask him what it would take to make him believe you and see if you can sort it that way.

Yes it would be a make or break kind of way to go but at least you would know for sure whether it is worth continuing to live in such an unsupportive atmosphere, whether you can cope and carry on like that.

I really hope you can resolve this issue as the support of our other halves and family is so important to our management of our condition and potential recovery.

Good luck and gentle hugs

Margaret.xx