"Help,feel like Iam on the verge of a nervous breakdown"

Hi all,I haven't posted much on here but I really need to offload how Iam feeling and I don't have any friends to talk to.I really felt like I was going to lose it today as my two kids have been driving me mad.All I've done this week is shout and scream at them,my ten year old has been bored so he winds up my four year old son and then he starts screaming and shouting then they are running around and it ends up with me constantly shouting at them and feeling one hundred times worse on top of already being very ill.It dosent help that Iam a single parent and we live in a tiny bungalow so none of us have got our own space.I have been slowly trying to cut down my tramodol as I want to try to get off them despite the fact that my fm is really bad,and I've been getting some awful side effects where Iam extremely irritable,my head feels so weird,I've had trouble with sleeping and now I feel like Iam going to have a nervous breakdown and I cannot cope no more.I even thought of taking all my tablets a while ago,I do suffer with depression since I was 13 and it's been bad since I moved where Iam 6 months ago.I hate where I live which dosent help,Iam taking dosulepin but that is for the pain and to help me sleep.Maybe I need a higher dose as Iam not coping ATM.My fm has gradually got worse since over a year ago when I started getting constant urine infections and I was taking anti-biotics for over a year.I think the anti-biotics have made me ill,so I have stopped taking them now.Can anyone recommend a good probiotic that is a high strength one I can take?Has anyone else had trouble with urine infections who has fm?Sorry to go on about myself but I need to get this off my chest.Gentle hugs to you all x

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  • Hi haribo... I too take dosulepin 75 mg at night with 0.5mg clonezapam and I sleep. For about 7 hours a night ... I tried 3 other anti depressants before dosulepin and they didnt help..at all Perhaps your dosulepin is not high enough dose or you need to try a different one... I can imagine how hard it is for you alone with two children and fibro, and half term....

    tramadol does not agree with me at all so you are not alone there... If its too late to get an afternoon appt or not possible to get one with the children at home hang in there till Monday and see your GP then explain how you feel your GP should be able to offer you alternative meds or a stronger dose and have you ever had councelling .... I have had fibro 23 years and there have been two points in that time where things got really bad and I had councelling and it did help. Also have you been refered to a pain clinic your GP should also be able to do that for you....

    Please post on here as much as you need until you have seen your GP

    If you feel you need to to talk to someone there is the Samaritans on 08457 909090

    Please go to see your GP and tell them everything you are feeling there is help for you

    VG x

  • Hi very grumpy,I love that name as it applies to me a lot of the time.Ive just completed a short course of CBT counselling at my gp's but it hasn't really helped.As I've got loads of issues from things in my past like abuse and I was married to an alcoholic for ten years I really need long term counselling so will have to look into a private counsellor to deal with some of my issues.Iam on benefits so Iam not sure how Iam going to afford it.I asked my g.p about being referred to pain management but he said there is a massive backlog of people waiting to see them so he didn't refer me.I did see a consultant at a fibro/m.e clinic in guys hospital a few years back so i might ask if I can be referred there again.The only thing is that it's all the travelling to London and back that puts me off.Thanks for all your help,Iam going to phone my doctors Monday morning x

  • Your GP should be able to offer you that sort of councelling too so its always worth asking ...

    So glad you are going to see your GP Monday , please let us know how you get on

    VG x

  • Hi there,unfortunately I was told today that my g.p has left for personal reasons so Ive made an appointment with another one but it's not till next week.So just going to have to hold out till then x

  • Good that you are going to call your GP hope you get a quick appt and are on the road to the help you need x

  • They only have a short course of CBT counselling at my g.p's but they do have courses on stress management and assertiveness which Iam going to do.Will let you know how I get on at my g.p's,unfortunately my g.p is not very good so after my appointment I will change my g.p x

  • Hi I really feel for you hope your gp helps you don't know if it the fm but I know since I have had it I get far far more stressed to the point I don't know what to do with my self

    Hope you soon feel better hugs

  • Thank you fairy12,hugs to you too x

  • You need to see a doctor. Re the frequent urinary infections, are you sure they are infections? Unless you have a positive culture for each infection it could be something else - Interstitial Cystitis (IC) mimics urinary infections and shows blood and white cells and the same symptoms - but there is no infection, the inner wall of the bladder is defective and unfortunately IC is a nasty friend of fibro. 55% of people with IC feel suicidal, I know, I was one of them. Like fibro, it is misdiagnosed for years and years. So when you go to the doctor, talk about IC and ask if you could possibly have it, and be referred to a urologist, there is no really effective treatment and no cure, but you can keep to a diet that has low acid and low spices and no sweeteners or artificial flavours and it really, really helps.

    Having an invisible disability is very isolating, and that is why you have no friends, not because you are you. Your sons maybe reacting to seeing you in pain, they no doubt feel a sense of distress inside and they are reacting by being aggressive towards each other. Maybe you need to talk to each one separately, and ask each of them how they feel, ask them how they feel about YOU. And tell them how much you love them, and need them, and need them to be friends with you and each other, and how that will help you to get better. I got very stressed with my children when they were small, and then my husband told me that I never say anything kind to them, I tried talking to them kindly and the first thing that shocked me was the look of surprise on their face - it spoke volumes. One of the things you will soon learn is that you do have two very wonderful little friends living in your house. Is there a fibro group in your area? You will meet so many people like you. Hugs and love xx

  • Hi Haribo, it's tough dealing with boisterous kids in the school holidays at any time but when you'r trying to deal with fibro and all its joys as well it can seem nigh on impossible at times can't it? On a self-help theme, it might help to try guided meditation and/or hypnosis to deal with the stress of your situation. If you can afford it, reflexology or aromatherapy massage is often effective. (I'm a reflexologist and had several clients report a great improvement in stress and general wellbeing). I've tried all these out myself and found they've all worked for me. I've found that if I can sometimes just get a handle on the stress and anxiety it can stop me feeling like a pressure cooker that's about to explode and everything is just that bit easier to deal with. If the antibiotics are making you feel yuk you can get acidophilus capsules from any good health shop or natural health pharmacy. I always keep a supply handy for when I'm on antibiotics. Can't do yogurt or probiotic drinks as they make me equally queasy and I find capsules work out cheaper. As for the demon ten year old, you might try finding him a lovely chore to do when he starts getting bored and winding up the little one. Takes time but I used to find that after a few times of doing this the very mention of finding them something useful to do used to result in a few minutes peace and quiet. I wonder if there's a park nearby you can take them out to? I know well how hard it can feel to get them togged up and drag yourself out of the house well you're feeling ill and depression has hit but if you can battle it enough to get out it might lift your spirits a little and the children can let off steam. I do hope you feel better soon. Remember, term starts again next week! Sending soothing hugs your way x

  • Biocare do a good pro-biotic and im on amitryptaline for my fibro and thats supposed to help bladder related infections too. Im also a working single mum and i have to let my son know regularly i love him and that my bad moods are because i have a lot of pain in my body. Does the father not have them at all or any friends from school that at least one cld go on a playdate to give u some respite. My heart goes out to u as ive often felt suicidal and once when i was on a horrid antibiotic for pneumonia i literally lost my mind and took 28 zopiclone so im v wary of antibiotics and their side effects. I would never leave my child but sometimes i feel he wld be better off without me, but thats just the illness talking, i just dont want to be in all this pain and misery. I also suffer clinical depression since childhood but believe it to be seperate from my fibro. The most important thing is these low feelings pass, like the sun coming our after days of rain so hang in there and u are not alone. H

  • Hi Haribo,

    I am happy to give you my email address and from there, my telephone number (landline) if you feel you want to talk to me at any time.


  • Hi I really feel for you go to the doctor and explain everything even write it down so you dont forget and try to get out and join some groups so you can meet people. Unfortunately we all need a friendly face now and again.


  • Yes, I went through a year of pretty much constant utis which also made me feel very ill with fever/feeling sick etc (although the antibiotics probably added to that), as others have said have a word with your GP about interstitial cystitis, as I believe this is what the constant utis have now left me with (infection no longer coming up on culture).

    Regarding the counselling, I had long term counselling through a charity for rape/domestic abuse victims, which was much more helpful than any counselling I ever had on they NHS because they were specialist counsellers in this area- and it was free. Might be with looking into? Xxxx

  • Oh ps re: probitics, the one we use with patients in hospital (i'm a Dietitian) who are on long term antibiotics is Yakult because this has the most research evidence behind it actually working, where as some of them do not survive the acidity levels of the stomach x

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