An apology and a huge hug of thanks

[charlii]

Good morning to my lovely family! I am, as you can see, alive and well (ish). Still in quite a lot of facial pain but much better than yesterday.

I waited for 2 hours last night huddled in a corner of the gp's waiting room holding my wheat bag to my face and quietly crying into it. The cleaners kept taking it back into the staff room and re-heating it up in their microwave for me bless them.

At 7pm i was called in to see a doctor and as hw came out into the corridor to greet me, he took one look at me and sprinted up the corridor to me. After explaning where the pain was, how long ive had it and so on he gently examined me looking at my mouth, ears etc and diagnosed just what Moffy had said...tri...neuralgia (cant remember for the life of me what it is!

Then came the crunch part i had been dreading. He asked me what meds i had taken that day.....after a pause he leaned forward very close to my face and said "Youve taken far too many meds havent you?" I started sobbing even more and nodded. He put his arm round me and asked me what i had taken and when. I told him and i told him how worried you all were and he gave me a little gentle telling off saying i should have listened to you and phoned an ambulance but i said i felt ok, a little woozy and sick but it did help the pain for a few hours. I did also point out that i havent taken anything else at all that day since then and he said that was good and because its been so long since i took them there wasnt really too much to do as i seemed ok but made me promise never to do that again but he said he totally understood where my thoughts were coming froma and its not uncommon for patients when they are in that much pain to throw sense out of the window and swallow allsorts because all they can think of is to stop the pain when its so severe but he was very calm and sympathetic which helped me relax a bit.

He then explained all about this tri...neuralgia and why it happens and what nerve is to blame in the face and he said this attack was classic. He asked me if i worked or needed to drive for the next few days and my OH said no. He gave me an injection in my arm and he said i would feel like a zombie but be pain free to give me a chance to sleep. He asked OH to watch me in the night and if hes concerned about me then to ring 999 regarding my earlier escapades.

He prescribed amitriptyline to work along side my gabapentin as i already on max daily dose for that and diazepam to take before i went to bed and also to be taken when the pain is bad again. He warned me that my face would still be painful this morning and by golly it is but its bearable, not like yesterday!

He has told me never to suffer like that again and this neuralgia can be treated at a+e easily and i could have been better a lot sooner but i said i didnt want anyone to think i had tried to take my own life i just need the pain to stop, i was literally offmy head with pain and i couldnt think about anyone or anything, just had to stop the pain, i told him i had blogged on here sasying if someone would hand me a gun i would have shot myself with out hesitiation and i actually think i meant it! Thats how muddled my brain was.

The doc and my OH were chatting away about why i have suddenly developed but i only caught bitsof it as i was starting to feel a bit woozy for the second time that day and we didnt come out of his room until 8pm, we had been with him an hour but luckily i was the last patient and 2 of the cleaning ladies were waiting outside to see how i was they were that worried about the pain i was in bless them!

Anyway, i came home and took the rest of the tablets as instructed and im not too sure what happened after that but i know i ended up in bed and it just knocked me out.

Today, i feel better but now as i write the pain is steadily getting worse againn but at least i have these meds to help me for now.

I just want to say a huge sorry for worrying you all yesterday, i wasnt thinking straight and taking meds like that is not something i would normally do. I cant believe now that i was that stupid...maybe thats the wrong word...desperate and out of control with that pain.

I am really touched that you really do care and that makes me feel humble and i want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your advice and taking the time to try to help me. Thanks to VG, LIbs, Moffy, Mary, and ayone else who replied and again, im so so sorry for causing you worry..i feel very foolish.

The pain is now getting quite bad again so i will stop rambling and warm up my trusty wheat bag and lie down.....Love you all....Charlii xx

[ladymoth]

So glad to hear from you, Charlii, and that your doctor has been so helpful.

Don't apologise - we're here to help, but you'll get a smacked bum if you do daft things with your tablets in future!

You know now that an attack like this can be put right with good treatment, so don't ever let it get so far again without getting medical attention.

We're all so very pleased that this story has had a good outcome, so rest up and get well soon.

Take care ... Love, Moffyx

[irisjoy]

so glad to hear from you Charlii

what a brilliant understanding GP

anyway now you know what to do in future , it is so good having this forum with so many people having so much knowledge

i have never agreed with telephone appointments how can we describe pain when it is constant in our lives

take care , Hugs xx

[LindseyMid]

Thanks for posting Charlii. Glad you're okay.

Trigeminal Neuralgia is nicknamed "suicide pain"! You're not alone in feeling desperate with an attack. But next time, get help asap, okay?

Trigeminal Neuralgia Association UK may be able to help:

tna.org.uk/

[charlii]

Thank you for your kind word Moffy and Irisjoy, i consider my wrists well and truly slapped! Although a smacked bum from Moffy sounds quite tempting lol! I still feel really sick but thats my own fault i suppose but im so hungry and its too painful to eat so i hsvent eaten since tuesday and i can only drink lukewarm liquids through a straw. I hate soup so im out of luck really.

The pain is steadily getting worse again but im just trying to tackle the ironing and washing as it was total chaos in our house this morning as i was starting the uniform washing and ironing yesterday but OH doesnt think of things like that, but i managed to sort out uniforms for the kids, pe kits and lunches!

I love the people on this forum, even more so now after yesterdays dramas, you are all so kind and caring. Huge gentle hugs to you all! Will attempt to finnish what i can before i take my meds as im sure they will knock me out again! Much love...Charlii xx

[charlii]

Lindsey thanks for your comment and for helping yesterday. Seriously, is that what trigeminal neuralgia is really nicknamed????? Because if thats true i can certainly agree with that! I wasnt trying to take my own life but the pain was indescirbable and my brain was so muddled and i just didnt know what i was doing, well i did but i couldnt think about anyone else or nothing else, just this pain consumed me and i couldnt think beyond it if that make sense? Thanks also for the link, i may have a nosey but i dont want another forum really....im more than happy with you lot lol! Much love...Charlii xx

[Hidden]

Hi Charlii

We are just so glad you are ok. When you first posted I was so worried and alerted everyone here. It was my first day as an admin and it isn't a day I will forget!!!

Just remember we are here to help and the advise given will help if taken

Rest today with that trusty wheat bag ( good aren't they?) and I am off to heave a huge sigh of relief.

Phew............

Massive hugs Karen

[Hidden]

Hello Charlii, so good to hear from you, please don't apologise, no need to. We all get desperate sometimes and don't think rationally. I have felt desperate myself many years ago but just kept going for my children, they were the reason life made sense. However, strong we are we can get really tested sometimes, it's not our fault.

At least you know what to do immediately should you ever be in the same position again, your subconscious should kick in and you will remember.

Please know that we are always here for you, we will always care for you and try to help and support you along the way.

Remember call for help, don't struggle until it becomes too much. Take it easy today, use the wheat bag, keep warm, take only recommended meds and I will join Karen for a sit down and a huge cuppa of relief that you're ok.

Bless you! (((hug))) xxx

Libs

[charlii]

Oh god karen! Im so so so so so sorry!!!!! Well like you said, at least you wont forget it in a hurry! Thank you so much for yesterday, just goes to prove what a good admin you are going to be. You should pat yourself on the back.....as for me, im looking forward to Moffys promise to smack my bum, hehe Much love..Charlii xx

[Hidden in reply to charlii]

It's called baptism by fire Charlii and Karen did great, Moffy was wonderful too! We called ourselves the Dynamic Trio after yesterday, but it was all worth it and we'd do it again for you just to hear that you are ok, that was our only concern. That's one of the reasons we are here to help and support where we can. Our members mean the World to us and their welfare, xxxx

[charlii]

Thank you Libs for caring and understanding xx

[Hidden in reply to charlii]

My pleasure Charlii, always here for you xxxx

[charlii]

Meds kicking in now (only the amount im supposed to take plus diamazepan) so no need to panic, will be a welcome relief and good old fibro, not to be outdone by a poncy sounding illness has decided to rear its ugly head to so its off to baboland for me for a while and hopefully be asleep through the worst of it....love you all muchly..Charlii xx

[charlii]

PS:You 3 can call yourself Charlii's angels now haha! x

[Hidden in reply to charlii]

Ooooh did you hear that Karen and Moffy, we've now been officially appointed as Charlii's Angels! Love it, thank you and it's our pleasure! xxxx

[Hidden in reply to charlii]

I love it! Charlii's angels <3

Thank you for the compliments too. Just glad you are ok my love.

Karen xxxxx

[Hidden]

Charlii, have been checking in to hear from you, so glad all is ok, don't apologise, you were in desperate pain....next time (hopefully there won't be a next time) get help if it starts to get unbearable. Hugs to you, sleep well xx Mary

[charlii]

Thank you MaryT, your kind thoughts are very much appreciated xx

[Hidden]

Great to hear you are ok and have a diagnosis

Fingers crossed meds work

Love VG x

[Jjudith]

There is a UK Trigeminal Neuralgia society and they have a helpline, you can find it on the Internet and if you have the pain again you can talk to someone who actually has the condition and knows what you are going through, and knows all the best things to do. Hope you are going to see a Trigeminal Neuralgia consultant - some people are really helped by surgery. But the good thing about TN is that it can pass and you will have periods without pain, you learn what are your triggers - it can just be a gentle touch on a certain point of your face - and you have to learn how to avoid triggers that set it off. It won't be every day for ever (like fibro pain).