At my wits end...

[knellykim]

Help! I don't normally post online although I read other peoples posts but i'm at my wits end. I' ve been feeling so unwell this week, I don't know if its a FMS/CFS flare up or whether I've caught a bug or my IBS is worse than usual but the problem is I live on my own and don't have anyone to help me. My on/off boyfriend of ten years is worse than useless, I've told him to sling his hook (literally as he keeps his fishing rod at my place)

but he keeps saying he'll still come round and bring me some supplies then doesn't turn up. This is getting to me more than anything else because he knows my extended family live in another town and all work full time so they hardly ever visit, if I want to see them I have to go on a 90 minute bus journey and stay over which is a huge effort for me even though they all drive and would only take them 30 mins by car to come and see me but my sister doesn't believe in Fibro even though she's a dr's receptionist & my daughter thinks i'm just lazy even though I used to love working & used to work long hours! I'm sitting here with nothing but water to drink, I've run out of soft drinks, milk, bread ,butter, all the basics. I order my groceries online but was too broke to place an order this week & I can't place one for just the few essentials I need so i'm feeling really sorry for myself. To top it all i'm late returning my ESA form because I put it to one side & promptly forgot about it for 2 weeks then panicked trying to get help to complete it which has really stressed me out, this post might sound light-hearted because that's my way of dealing with my situation but deep down i'm feeling almost suicidal. I've tried social services, local psychiatric hospital etc but nobody wants to know. Oh and i'm recovering from breast cancer for the third time after having a mastectomy in late February but that seems the least of my problems at the moment, sorry this is so long but like I said HELP!!!

[hamble99b]

the salvation army might do a basics shop for you,

if you're over 50, age concern might be able to advise you.

as for social services, have they assessed you?

macmillans should be able to advise you, they are here for you. [as are we]

ring your council and ask for a number an "advisor for vulnerable adults" I did & she helped me. and ask to see a welfare rights advisor.

also call the cab

call the esa people and ask for a deferment,

I would also consider a foodbank - we all need help.

we have a fresh fruit and veg group, ask at your nearest church if they know of one.

keep in touch,

sandra.

[knellykim in reply to hamble99b]

Thankyou for responding, i'm 51 so just in the right age bracket for some services. I tried age concern, they were very helpful with things I could do to widen my social circle but I've not felt well enough to go to anything yet but they didn't seem very helpful with benefit advice & I've spoken to macmillan at my local hospital & on the phone who said they don't have a benefits advisor in my area so couldn't really help in that respect but I never realised the salvation army helped with this type of problem so i'll try them & also I will ring the council tomorrow. I've been assessed twice by social services who even though I sat & burst into tears telling them I couldn't cope said I wasn't nearly as bad as most of the people they see so couldn't help me & sent me a list of private cleaners & carers I could pay for! If only. Thanks for your advice, i'll let you know how I get on, although i'm not very good at keeping in touch with people that at the moment. xx

[hamble99b]

found this, it may help.

macmillan.org.uk/HowWeCanHe...

[knellykim in reply to hamble99b]

Thanks, looks like i'll be making quite a few phone calls tomorrow. i'll let you know how I get on xx

[Hidden]

Hi

It sounds as though Sandra has pointed you in the right direction. I've read on quite a few posts that the Welfare Right's people will help you out too.

When I went to see the CAB for some benefits advice I was offered a voucher from the food bank from them.

Have you been in touch with your local MIND group? I see a Project Worker from there. She helps me out quite a lot and they have social sessions you can join. If you'd like to know some more I can see if I can find out a telephone number for you? Or Google MIND which should give you some contact numbers. I'm pretty sure you can refer yourself or get your doctor to refer you.

I know it's no practical help but I just wanted to reach out to you.

My confidence and self esteem is at rock bottom and I'm feeling life is not worth living. I'm under constant stress which I know few people deal with well, but for me drives me close to the edge.

If you'd like someone to chat to I'm on and off here during the day and night.

I understand where you're at and we both use our sense of humour to get us by.

Contact me anytime.

Gentle hugs

Coz

[Cookie72]

Hi there so sorry to hear if your problems and dilemmas I really hope you get something sorted soon, we are all for you I know you say your not good at keeping in touch, but do try as it makes life a little bit more bearable when You are talking to people with the same problems and illnesses, have you a neighbour or fiend that could get you a couple of bits ?, sending you gentle hugs....Dee x

[mimiwen]

Hi,

I'm so sorry you're having such a bad time, I do feel for you.

A lot of boroughs have a volunteer agency now, where people who want to do voluntary work can apply and be vetted, etc. Ask at your GP's surgery if there's such a thing locally, and if there is phone them and see if anyone would help you out voluntarily with shopping, maybe cleaning too.

Thinking of you,

Mim x

[knellykim in reply to mimiwen]

Thankyou, i'll check it out xx

[knellykim]

Thankyou so much Sandra, Coz, Dee & Mim, I think you gave me the motivation I needed to make some calls & ask for help which i'm not very good at because I used to be so independent, I wish I had posted on here sooner now but anyway I made several calls today & I've got a food parcel coming on Friday, I've been put on the priority list with the councils welfare dept. who will be contacting me in the next 48 hours & I've left messages on answer phones for a local benefit help service who come out to peoples houses & to a local debt advice service. PHEW! Feel tired now, but probably still won't sleep! So once again thankyou so much everyone, i'd always thought posting was too much effort but now I know different & I will be making that extra effort to keep in touch

Kim xx

[Hidden in reply to knellykim]

Hi Kim

I'm pretty sure my post was the least helpful, but I really am so glad for you.

You've done a wonderful job

It's fantastic that you got the motivation to make all those calls (which I know very well are not easy, and you feel exhausted afterwards).

Please do keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.

It's lovely to hear you sounding not as stressed as you were.

Take care & keep in touch

Coz xx