I usually hate being all "yoohoo! look at me, I have fibromyalgia, I'm on my feet working three days a week in a fast food place and I cook and clean for my family, aren't I amazing? Feel sorry for me " but after lots of tears and feeling a useless burden of miserableness my partner says I need help. For someone other than him to tell me I need help and I am doing ok.
I'm not good with face to face in a group lets hug type things, so, here I am reaching out to anyone who will tolerate my ramblings for the something... I don't know what... to help me.
It's been bad, but never as bad as yesterday when my pip claim was denied. My partner, bless him, was trying desperately to help me with what I could do to get them to change their minds but me being me thought sod it, they don't believe there is anything wrong so there mustn't be anything wrong I'll give up, carry on as normal, who cares!
My partner can't understand my reasoning of this, he can see I need help, he always tells me to ask for help but I never do, I try to tell him that I feel I need to do everything because I make everyone miserable when I'm around and I feel so bad if he has to do the things that I normally do, but then I make him feel bad when he does stuff because I'm always saying sorry, which I am, permanently sorry. I know I need to snap out of it, accept help and not feel bad but I am just stuck in this mindset and don't know how to change.
I don't know if any of this makes sense but if you have read this, thank-you for spending the time, it is much appreciated.