wits end

[Colourpink66]

hi all this my first post although I have been a member for a while, I’m 67 years old female, I have been diagnosed about 8 years now although had symptoms before that . I think I had come to terms with fm , but since February have had a herniated disc and sciatica, my doctors are not interested so I started seeing a chiropractor which has helped with the pain, but my mobility is not improving and have difficulty walking. My partner tries but quickly runs out of patience and can be quite difficult to live with. My family don’t live near and since we moved which was 8 years ago I haven’t made any close friends , mainly due to fm . I am on duloxetin max dose but find I’m getting more and more depressed because I just find it so hard to do the simplest things, my partner has always relied on me and isn’t willing to learn, I don’t want to carry on like this, I just can’t see an end to it, sorry to be so negative and the long post .

[Dash01]

Hey Colourpink66.

I am so sorry your feeling like this, I totally understand how isolated you may feel.

Although I'm a lot younger I’m 25, I have felt really overwhelmed and disconnected from the world.

I definitely understand when you say you don’t see the end, I felt like that. Two years ago I suffered a massive breakdown & I was diagnosed with depression(never suffered before) it has taken me 2 years to come out of it.

It is very hard not to go into a negative head space so I feel for you have more than one thing going on at the moment!!!!

I hope you’re having a better day than when you posted, hopefully the pain isn’t so bad.

Maybe as your partner to look up your condition or YouTube it so he can maybe understand better.

Here if you need anything drop us a message. You got this!!!! X

[Colourpink66 in reply to Dash01]

thank you Dash for showing such empathy and kindness it helps to know someone really understands, so sorry you are suffering so young

[Dash01 in reply to Colourpink66]

100 percent I feel for you.

Here if you need to talk xxxx

[Cat00]

Can you join any adult classes, like art classes or a bird watchers group or anything that gets you out of the house for a bit? It would give you an opportunity to meet new people but not in a socially pressured situation. It helps to remember it is possible to life a more interesting life rather than just existing, but it can take time to find the right group of people. It might give you more strength to deal with your health and partner.

[Colourpink66 in reply to Cat00]

thank you for taking the time to reply and making helpful suggestions

[Turquoisesummer]

Hey Colourpink,I'm so sorry for what you're going through and how you're feeling. I can relate to how you're feeling and the trouble making friends due to fibro. It really can be unbearable dealing with fibro symptoms and also all of the ways it can affect our lives, and especially when the people close to us don't understand. I can't imagine dealing with a herniated disc and sciatica on top of fibro. It's completely understandable you're feeling this way. I wish I could help..💗 the only suggestions I can think of is trying to get your partner to read or watch anything that might help him understand what you're going through. I know this can be difficult as I've been trying for 6 years to get my family ro understand and the only one who seems willing to try is my sister, which is nice but also I have to live with my mother so I wish she was also more willing to try and understand, but she acts like I'm perfectly fine and shouldn't need help. Also, is there a gym or anything near you that you could get to that has a sauna? I've heard they're more popular in the UK so maybe there is one near you. I spent 2 years not being able to work out or even barely walk at times, but I regularly go to my gym which has a sauna and I would just sit in the sauna as long as possible, taking breaks and going back in, and it helps greatly with the pain but also I've met so many lovely people while sitting in there. Everyone is up for a chat and it's become my main socialising activity since having to quit work and losing friends due to fibro 🙃. I still don't have any close friends and feel very isolated, but I do hope things improve for you. Another thing that is really helpful to me is attending church as often as possible. The people at my church are so kind and understanding and encouraging and welcoming. I haven't been able to attend regularly due to fibro, but when I do I always feel so uplifted and encouraged. I don't know if these suggestions are of any help to you but I hope they are. I've had trouble adjusting to fibro and the way it's affected my life and hopes and dreams and day to day life, but these are 2 things that are currently getting me through. If you feel like talking to a therapist might help please also give that a go. If it's accessible to you and you find a good therapist it can really help, I've found. I really feel for you and hope you are able to find some relief and to cope. Sending love 💓 take care

[Colourpink66 in reply to Turquoisesummer]

thanks turquoise summer have tried some of your suggestions in the past

[Yassytina FMA UK Volunteer]

Glad you have come on the forum for a chat, I am in my early 60 s and I do understand that sometimes we need alittle more help each day , I do think if we continuously done cooking ,cleaning etc partners, husbands sometime need a little nudge in the right direction 😉my husband is good at DIY and I’m now leaving him too cut the lawn and manitence side of things but when I’ve been poorly he dosent cook , so sometimes on a good days I’ve started too batch cook for the freezer or even the odd cheat meal from M@S . I am on duloxtene I take 60mg in the evenings but I am allowed too take one in the morning also (I have done this when I’ve got low at times)just too take away any low feelings I’ve had and when fibro and other conditions all get a bit much some days. It’s raining cars and dogs here in Suffolk 🤣for cast all week and I’m really wanting too get outside even too sit with a cuppa , I do find the warmer weather much more up lifting , does it help your? There are some lovely people here to chat too . Are there any local clubs where you could go , I know we have a fibro group that meets every 2 weeks , and sometimes in the scout hall they do little cake /coffee mornings. Does your partner drive ? So they could help with the mobility side of things would be nice on better days you could both go and perhaps make new friends xx ps sorry for my long post but sometimes we need someone too reach out and understand

[Colourpink66]

hi yassytina thanks for replying and the useful suggestions

[1whitestar]

I am sorry to here this . It sounds like you have alot to deal with . I hope you can find some small group etc. I have a local church near me and there is a cafe you can just go for a chat anytime that is what i do when i am able to get there.