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Fibromyalgia Action UK
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Frightened For The Future

My husband is my carer and I love him ever so much. I can't help thinking about my future though. If I end up being ill like this for the rest of my life, what is going to happen to me? Say something happens to my husband and my children are still little, what is going to happen to me? Maybe its me being selfish I don't know. I'm just a prone worrier I guess, but I do wonder. I need my husband as I also have ME and a nerve condition so I need help most of the time. Who would look after me if he's not here? I've asked my husband this question many times and he keeps telling me not to worry, but I am. I just can't help it. I don't mind to sound selfish, I'm really not a selfish person by heart. Does anyone else have these same thoughts?

God bless to you all xxx

11 Replies

I think at some point we all worry about the future but you can only take one day at a time. I don't know what will happen in the future and I can't think that far ahead, I just deal with what is happening now and try to keep positive. Gentle hugs x


Hi bimblemitch,

Thank you for your reply. Your right I think its best to just take one day at a time and deal with what's happening now. Thank you xx


It's perfectly natural to worry my OH and Myself are both in our 40s but I have fibro and arthritis my son is autistic and my OH has an incurable lung disease which will only get worse... Hopefully slowly so yes I worry about the future if I let it.... So I too tend to take each day as it comes. If it all becomes to much for you and you can't switch off worrying see your GP and see if he can recommend councelling I think many of us on here have had councelling at some time or another ..we have a lot to deal with

VG x


I totally agree!

I live alone, but my children are very helpful. I dread becoming disabled to the point where I take up more of their time - I don't think I could put up with being too dependent. We just have to take each day as it comes, and only make such plans as are feasible.

Moffy x


ahh thanks Ladymoth. What would I do with you all on here. I've said it before and I'll say it again. You guys are great!!! xx


Thanks VG. I totally agree with you. I have had counselling in the past but it won't hurt to have more if I need it. Thanks so much ladies, really appreciate the support. xx


"Forecasting that the future (events and general) will be awful is a massive cause of stress. Since your brain is the most powerful future experience rehearsal machine in the World, your poor old (not so logical) subconscious mind gets very worried indeed when you negatively rehearse the future as a frightening destination! When you tell yourself that things will turn our badly, you create fear and stress. Then, because you’re so stressed and fearful, your performance drops; everything turns out badly, and you say “See! I told you so!” Then whole cycle then begins again, but reinforced because it did in fact go as badly as you imagined. Ironically that’s because you imagined it going badly first!"

Extract taken from


A useful explanation of cognitive behavioural therapy


Hi Spidey,

Thanks for the reply. I really do appreciate all of the responses from you all. I feel better now after posting on here. Much love and gentle fibro hugs to you all xxxx



i feel this all the time am 25 and need a wheelcahir outdoors and alot of assistance indoors including bathing and food prep etc and my hubby is brill but i do wonder the what ifs but my counsellor has taught me to focus on the hat i want to do with my life and push for that disabled does not mean useless so i myself am doing courses to become a counsellor so i understand the feelings of what ifs but i but them it i want toos. i focused my energy elsewhere. i hope that helps. i am a natural worry wart and do wonder will i ever be a mum now but i turned it around and decided some of us are supposed to be mums and children are treasured gifts i have 7 nephews and a niece i cant complain,

gentle hugs

kerry xxx


Hi Kerry,

Thanks for your reply. I'm 32 and need the same help that you do. I think it's just because I'm a natural worrier, but will try and just focus on the positives. Gentle hugs hun xxx


i know it is easier said than done! xx i really do understand,,,,,, anytime u need somone to chat am here just msg me! gentle hugs x


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