Spoke to the neighbours!

I have been quite brave this week and tried to talk to my neighbours about their screaming child. I've tried so hard to cope as I know how difficult it is with young kids. Mine are teenagers now and that can be bad enough but my two aren't terribly noisy,just get my son shouting on his Xbox to his mates but that has got better. Our houses are practically on top of each other and our gardens sort of go diagonally,it's hard to explain but I've always been considerate of them,bring my dogs in if they bark. But I'm not getting the same treatment back :(

I spoke to the husband as he is more approachable but he said that they have tried everything with her and can't get her to stop. I haven't heard them once tell her to stop screaming while in the garden. They just let her do it. I now can't sit in my garden,doors and windows have to be kept shut.

Guess I've got to find ways round it,have ear plugs in today,am hoping that might help. Yesterday I heard them tell her to go out in the garden if she was going to scream. Great! aaaaaaaarrgghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

22 Replies

  • I once had trouble with one of my god-daughters who was prone to going into a screaming tantrum, I stopped her completely one day as I stood and screamed at the same time as her, but of course much louder, she shut up immediately and to my knowledge didn't ever scream again, except when she broke her arm, and then of course that was understandable as she needed help...... Maybe you could attempt a similar manoeuvre ? Eeeek I can hear you say, but it will also let the parents know that they've got to do something about it ! ......... Words of non wisdom from the Foggy school of thought !!!!! :D

  • Thank you for your foggy wisdom lol.Can you imagine me standing out in the garden screaming? They would probably ring the men in white coats! I've had all sorts of suggestions,such as sellotaping up child's mouth( ha ha ha)putting my loud speakers up against their adjoining wall,put the volume up very loud and go out for the day,taping child's screaming on laptop and playing it back in garden over and over again. Can't see me doing any of this as I haven't got the nerve. It's ear plugs for me! How are you foggy?xxx

  • How old is the little monster ? Nope, I knew it wouldn't your approach, but as I'm being really stupid at the moment, I thought I would still tell you ;-) I think your idea to do taping the child's screaming and playing it back actually could be a real thought, and you have evidence of it, if you need at any point to recourse to law with it, which I truly don't think will happen, but still good to have some ammunition under your belt, as they say.

    I'm much the same Teddy, not great, but not ghastly though I've had a load of migraines, but hey ho, there are so many people here who are so much worse than myself, I must be grateful.

    Sending lots of positive vibes your way my friend .

    Foggy x

  • Omgosh Teddy, I really needed a laugh today, although I know your situation is by far a laughing matter and it still goes unresolved I must say you have a great way of looking at the bright side of things. I suggest the noise less ear head phones by the brand bose they work great and you would be able to enjoy you days out in your garden. Again thanks for the laugh and good luck.

  • Funny you should write this. I did the same with my little niece and she looked at me quite shocked LOL. I turned and walked away and she soon cottoned on that screaming just made people ignore her and walk away. My brother and his wife soon copied me and it seems to work. Kids use screaming as a tool to get their own way.

  • Hi Teddy, how r you don't forget that us fibro 's are sensitive to light , smell and noise, nd all three affect me, I can't be in the same room when someone is screaming or shouting, or loud music, whn I was young I loved to have my music loud, but can't stand it now, also all th family here have hardto use mellow perfume and aftershave now, I must defo cannot stand bright light, so maybe the kiddys noise next door may not be as loud as it seems to you and it must be going straight thru you, I don't kno if anyone else has been having these problems, would be nice to know if they are...you take care and I do hope things settle soon...gentle hugs to you ....Dee x

  • Yes cookie! I'm the same, usually wear dark glasses to avoid the glary lights reflecting off the shiny floors in supermarkets especially, noise always feels 10 times worse than it does to others and smells the same, it's a cross we have to bear I guess :)

  • In the last few years all my senses seem to be on high alert all the time and things like sounds, smells etc, seem to get to me way more than they used to. Not sure if that helps you, but neighbours kids screaming while playing now seem to sound like a riot to me!

  • Hi, taping the screaming could be a good idea and then phoning environmental health, because they deal with that kind of thing. Just another idea, hope it all sorts....:)

  • I also had trouble with my neighbours a few years ago. Tapping the noise is a good idea. However the council may tell you they need to hear it themselves. Maybe better to call them and get them to come round to hear it. Also my council set up mediation for me and my neighbors as the noise of the kids at 11pm and the people they had in their flat was also noisy and unbearable for me and my son. They have been quite good since. :-) hope things get better soon xxx

  • How about buying a few bottles of bubbles and either blowing them over the fence when she screams, then giving her the bottle when she is calm. Maids can't scream and blow bubbles. Mcourse this won't work if the child is over 8. Noise cancelling headphones might be useful. I went to sleep in mine once when kids were in the street being very noisy!

  • ... have you asked the little girl calmly why she is doing it,..she possibly does it as she knows she will get attention that way,i think her parents haven't tried everything ,if they had she wouldn't be doing it, my friend lived across the road from a screamer and her parents went to therapy with her and the therapist found it was because she was using it as a form of attention getting, and a month later after ignoring her when she screamed to get her own way ,her parents ignored her completely for doing it and so she stopped.. I think maybe when you neighbours child does it indoors she probably gets her own way so she is learning that if it works for her she will still do it

  • I had a screaming grandaughter who would just stand and scream, this was her way of getting what she wanted..........................the cure................child screams............get glass of cold water and slowly pour over head, when finished, go into kitchen and put down glass and sit down on chair. If the child screams again, get glass of cold water and pour over head and put glass in kitchen and sit down on chair. It will work as long as you do not speak to the child and just repeat the motions, believe me they get the picture and will stop as you now have their attention. Hope it helps give the parents the instructions before they fine out that nobody want their little girl in their company.

  • Find horn I don't think my neighbours would take kindly to me suggesting they tip water over her head lol. They are softly softly parents I think. The mum used to be a nanny so thinks she knows all there is to know. They have two daughters one who is 6 I think who shouts all the time and the screamer is 2. the elder one takes great delight in making her scream even more. Apparently they can't stop that either. I can understand it to a certain extent as tying to get my son not to shout while on the Xbox is near impossible so I just take it away from him. But I do not let him on it in the garden do I? Perhaps I should......

  • Perhaps they are trying the ignoring tactic by putting her out in the garden?

    Have you explained to them that you have a CNS disorder that makes you very sensitive to grating sounds and causes you physical pain?

    I would use "the look" and make her think twice but I also agree that screaming back is a good solution. Someone I know used the same approach with biting - no more biting!

    Unfortunately, "softly softly" parents are usually oblivious to the needs of others around themselves, let alone the people their children might be disturbing. It gave me a real lift recently when two separate families, in a public area, sat and spoke to their children explaining that you have to be respectful and mindful of others around you as they are doing their own thing and don't need them running around them shouting etc - you see this less and less these days.

    Bottom line is its anti-social behaviour; aged two or not. The parents have a duty of care and you have a right to what solicitors call "peaceful occupation" of your home.

    I would try the subtle approach and say to the mum something like "we have had that problem in our family and it's a toughy; eventually though, screaming back and ignoring them afterwards, worked" - don't even suggest they try it; just slip it in and back off to let her think about it.... I bet one evening when she has had enough she gives it a go! ;-)

  • How in a humanitarian way does one respond? The noise from neighbours - of whatever sort - can both intrigue or considerably irritate. We live with each other - flies and butterflies. Make one's own boundaries/borders known equitably quietly. But, one must also make it known just what is reasonable.

  • Keep track of site/portal, and how managed. Rather do not stop posting. We always appreciate.

  • How in a humanitarian way does one respond? The noise from neighbours - of whatever sort - can both intrigue or considerably irritate. We live with each other - flies and butterflies. Make one's own boundaries/borders known equitably quietly. But, one must also make it known just what is reasonable.

  • Remember we were all little once... it's now payback time for all the times you drove people crazy when you were a child! You won't remember it of course... but that doesn't mean it didn't happen.

    Hundreds of years ago when I was a young mum with 3 little children people mowed their lawns just as I was trying to get a fractious child to sleep.

    Such is life and we all have to rub along together.


  • I respect your opinion Chimbelina,the problem I have is the reaction I have in my body,she has just had another screaming fit and I am shaking and feeling very sick. It's also about the way our houses are almost on top of each other. I can't get away from the noise :( I will try to tell my body to be more tolerant :)

  • Could tell her the story of the boy who cried wolf, my girls used to scream all the time it didn't matter how many times I told them not to and that no one would come if they hurt themselves they still did it they did grow out of it after a while took a few months they realised nobody was taking any notice so they stopped.

  • My neighbours whose garden backs onto mine have very noisy children but the worst is the mother who screams at them to shut up. In some cases I prefer to listen to the kids as the mum yells and swears at them. My other neighbours have said something and she swore at him. If I sit out now I take my ipod out with me. I keep meaning to get noise-cancelling headphones. I don't know what to suggest really. At least they are aware you're bothered by it. Isn't the child back at school yet? (poor teachers!)